tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20635200575385883472024-03-13T16:15:01.586-04:00The Stay At Home ScholarThrough this blog I will explore myriad topics ranging from my experiences as a husband, parent, and writer, to my personal interests, current global issues, and any number of things that interest me and that I hope will interest my readers.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-69787053420895290282020-11-12T16:25:00.010-05:002020-11-12T16:53:12.620-05:00Artist Spotlight Interview # 2: Chauncy Felisz<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gsLInQ7EsRY/X62OrqBTeqI/AAAAAAAACTQ/3tE7QCZUhPkVu_6EHbaq0KaOWItzRJCMACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/Evferdoor.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gsLInQ7EsRY/X62OrqBTeqI/AAAAAAAACTQ/3tE7QCZUhPkVu_6EHbaq0KaOWItzRJCMACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/Evferdoor.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everdoor: The Owl's Court<br />Book two in the Everdoor saga by author & artist<br />Chauncy Felisz</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Since I was a child, I've been fascinated by people with the ability to create realistic drawings, particularly of people and places. It's a skill I envy greatly, and one that I've long since accepted being devoid of, myself. I've found solace in my own array of talents, noting that there's always a trade-off: being able to write, to play music, and to create photography balances out my inability to draw. One cannot be greedy, nor can one expect to have <i>all</i> of the talents...</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">...or so I thought, until I made the acquaintance of Ms. Chauncy Felisz. Not only is Chauncy a ridiculously skilled artist, she is <i>also</i> an adept writer who is in the midst of fleshing out her incredible Everdoor saga. Her ability to craft incredibly vivid fantasy descriptions is eclipsed by only her ability to bring them to life through her traditional and digital art.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I had the pleasure of sitting down and speaking with Chauncy about everything from the roots of her artistic abilities to her love and appreciation for an N64 classic. Please enjoy the interview below!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview, Chauncy! How about we begin with the basics. Where are you from?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I was born in the UK, in London. But I got dual nationality from my mother's side, so I've been able to bounce back and forth between the UK and US and have lived in various different places in both countries.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">That's awesome! Does your dual nationality impact your sense of home? Do you feel an affinity for one place over the other, or do they each have their own place in your heart?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Home has been a difficult concept. Often, no matter which country I was in, I missed the other, but more and more, perhaps because I'm getting older, I find I desperately want to go back to the UK and settle down. I don't know what the future will hold.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I know that I want to live in England again, but I am also a bit of a wayward traveler and miss the world. I could also see myself settling down in some foreign country like Japan in my much later life. All I know is, right now I feel as though I need to go back to England, so I hope one day in the near future I can do so with my family.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">So, you were one of the first people that I interacted with when I joined the Writing Community on Twitter. I was blown away by the art that you shared on Instagram and totally intrigued by the description of your debut novel--Everdoor: The Paradise-Purgatory. How did your younger experiences influence your writing and your art?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Here, my story takes a bit of a dark turn. There were some beautiful parts of my childhood, and certainly all the adventures with my granddad in the back garden, that felt more like another world than a little quarter acre plot of land in Harrow and Wealdstone. They had a positive influence on me, but there were some very bad elements in my childhood, too, so I would retreat into a fantasy world.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">That was my escape and safe haven, and, because of that--because I would escape in my mind to this fantasy place that became Eclipse--it had to feel real. I had to create every detail--I couldn't just imagine a character sitting down to eat a meal when I was creating these little dramas in my head, I had to know what they were seasoning their food with, where everything came from, where there clothes came from, what was the climate like, on and on because it needed to be a believable place. So while the origins of Eclipse were born out of an unhappy time, that dedication to the details and having to really know what this world looked, and felt, and tasted, and smelled, and sounded like formed such a strong foundation for me to build off of when my continued building of the world came from the pleasure of doing so, rather than merely escaping from the bad things happening around me.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I feel like a lot of us can relate to that, unfortunately. It's like that creative catharsis is necessary for us as a means of sorting through our pasts, but it also serves as a conduit to our futures, in a way. I think that a lot of my best work comes from a dark place, personally, and it sounds like yours does, too. </span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">You've clearly been a creative soul from very early on, but how did you wind up getting into the fields of art and writing, in particular?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Drawing went hand in hand with that early escapism, I think. I would picture the world so vividly that I desperately wanted to transcribe my vision into reality. When I was little, I remember feeling overwhelmed because I thought the world I envisioned was so beautiful, and I wanted so badly to show people the pretty pictures that were inside my head, I wanted it so badly that it hurt.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The things that I was feeling were perhaps too big for my young self to be able to actualise, or even know how to at the time. So I would create--I would draw and I would make languages and maps and even little paper models. I was compelled to create, and I was compelled to create stories. I would entertain myself with made up narratives that were often of a mythical, folklore type of tale. I would make up fables and creation myths, I would tell myself stories and lose myself in them. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I was a rather lonely child, I guess you could say, but I did not necessarily feel alone and I enjoyed my own company.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">That's great that you were able to take that negativity and use it to produce something beautifully constructive rather than destructive. You have a natural talent for crafting fantasy imbued with supernatural and sci-fi elements. What would you say is your favorite genre to write?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Fantasy, by far. But, more specifically, I love to create god creatures, things of fables and legends--the types of creatures and characters that are saturated in that old world mysticism. Perhaps growing up in England, where the notion of faerie tales and celtic lore are still intrinsic to the land, helped nurture that. And I try to get an element of realism in my art as well. I try to make the lighting, the textures, believable.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I guess I'm still trying to put the pretty pictures in my mind on paper so everyone else can join in my world that has brought me so much joy and taught me so much. I just want to create art that lets people believe in magic again, even if it's only for a quiet moment.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">So who are your favorite artists? What drew you to their work?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Peter Mohrbacher is one of my all-time favorite artists. He's created his own world with his majestic angels and he paints them with the kind of believability that I want to eventually attain in my own works. I don't remember exactly how I came across him--it was likely through Magic the Gathering, as he used to do art for them--but I remember that I became aware of him during the time I was doing my Bachelors.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Shameful as it might seem, I never really took note of artists before then. I just liked certain pictures but didn't pay attention to the artists. And on my social media I tend to collect artists for their art, but if you asked me to name them I wouldn't know where to begin. I remember their pictures more than their names.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">But the type of art that draws me is a range. I love good graphic design, good line art, good realism, fantasy, surrealism—anything that grabs me and is designed and structured well.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I don't know much about art, but, as a photographer, I'm a sucker for lines and lighting. I love the interplay of shadow and light, and the way that good line art helps not merely to frame a scene, but, in many ways, to create it. That's an important element of video game design, too. Do you have any favorite games that served to influence you?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Well, I'll tell you that Ocarina of Time on the Nintendo 64 was mind-blowing to me. And it forever has a place in my heart. I was immediately enamored with the world. I would look at every detail, all the little peripheral things that the designers and modelers had plopped in to populate the world—pictures on the walls, little details in every dungeon, all the set dressing. Kokiri Forest certainly acted as an inspirational spark for a lot of Eclipse—how that place made me feel, so steeped in magic and mystery, it was an essence I wanted to capture and perpetuate throughout Eclipse. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There's been many experiences through games, music, life, movies, books, that influence my art and storytelling, but Ocarina of Time sowed some of those beginning seeds.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I will never forget my first encounter with a Moblin in Ocarina of Time! I had been a Zelda fan since the original came out on the NES, but Ocarina of Time was the moment where the game felt <i>real</i>, you know? I was able to forget that I was playing a game, and that I wasn't actually in Kokiri Forest!</span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I think that's what I love about writing, too. The best writers remove the barriers of the page and enable us to feel like we are truly transported to these places (like you did with Everdoor!) Do you have any favorite writers, in particular?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Peter V. Brett—Terry and Neil I was introduced to through friends and immediately fell in love with their work. The humor and the realness that worked so well together pulled me in. I try to bring that into my own work. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There is that touch of satire and self awareness in Everdoor. It's meant to be funny and tragic, and happy, and lonely all at once. And I feel that both Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman use humor so expertly that it renders the experiences of their worlds and their characters into something more real and relatable.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Life isn't one dimensional, and you have to be able to see the great irony of existence, of our experiences to grasp the fullness of life. I'm also an avid lover of thrillers and the horror genre in general, which Stephen King does so well. His stories and characters are compelling, you care about what happens to the people. Peter V. Brett I discovered in a book store one day many years ago. I just liked the cover, it seemed interesting, and when I began reading his first book, I was hooked on his world. He created something with a really fresh pacing, and a simple concept of man vs. demon but with a compelling edge.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">With all these writers, they created worlds and characters that meant something to me--that highlighted some part of humanity that compelled me.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Absolutely! And do you feel like your unique writing voice was influenced by any of them, specifically?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I can't say if it was any one in particular, but I do think that I have a very British way of writing. It's something I've noticed, particularly in the writing community. Many American writers tend to be rather against flowery prose and adverbs. Admittedly, I think I could slim down on my use of adverbs as well, but I do think that how I structure sentences is still rather British, which can be difficult for some of my American readers to digest, as I've found. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The funny thing is, most the time when I speak, I sound American, it's just my internal dialogue that retained my mother tongue, as it were. What I will say though is that whenever I read something good, I like to pick apart why it's good, what I like, and how I can incorporate it into my own writing. My own writing voice is an amalgamation of many others, but I think that's how it's supposed to be.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">What novels would you recommend? Any favorites that might have inspired you in one way or another?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The Thief of Time—Terry Pratchett </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The Hannible series, all of them! —Thomas Harris</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Good Omens—Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The Warded Man— Peter V. Brett</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">My Life as a White Trash Zombie— Diana Rowland</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">The Dragon's Touchstone— Irene Radford</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I could probably go on a while, I consume books!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">It's amazing how many of my favorite writers cite Neil Gaiman as one of their favorites. I'm learning more about his creative process through his Masterclass right now, and I've read a lot about Stephen King's. How would you describe your own creative process, whether for art or writing?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Messy. If I have a clear vision, I'm almost possessed by the need to create and will grind away, whether it be art or writing. Sometimes I'm just muddling through, trying an idea that seemed enticing but wasn't fully fleshed out. Often those weaker concepts get scrapped but the core of what I was trying to do gets incorporated elsewhere.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There is a basic formula I follow—with art, I'll sketch out a very rough scene, refine, then do some base painting to see color and lighting, and then clean up and neatly render all the parts, adjust lighting and do some final passes. And, ideally, that's what happens, but sometimes there's drudgery and dragging feet, and I'll go back and fundamentally change the scene if needs be. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">With writing, I tend to begin very linearly for as long as I can, and if I find myself stuck, I'll tend to plop in a little note about what the scene is supposed to be and skip ahead to a more interesting scene, then go back and flesh out all the pieces so that it all flows smoothly together. I tend to know the ending of the book when I begin, but getting to that point is a journey of discovery. Sometimes whole scenes get scrapped, and sometimes my characters surprise me and adjustments have to be made for the ending. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you prefer to create your art digitally or traditionally? </span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I started off as a traditional artist, and, while I adore digital art—there's so much you can do with it, and I do primarily work in digital—traditional art skills are vital. Any great digital artist will tell you how important it is to keep up those traditional skills.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There is nothing quite like putting an actual pen to paper or paint to canvas, so I do maintain my traditional skills as well, and I hope to bring my traditional painting skills up to the level of my digital skills at some point. But, for the sake of creating within a reasonable timeframe, I tend to work digital. It's just quicker and I'm more practiced in digital painting than traditional painting—for now, anyway.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Which method, do you feel, allows you to create your best work?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">In regards to art, right now I do feel my digital pieces are superior to my traditional pieces—they're just a lot cleaner and more refined. However, doing monthly challenges like Drawtober and Mermay are great little artist boot camps to help elevate my traditional skills.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">What is your favorite piece that you've ever created?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Currently, my favorite piece is Lehlune, Goddess of Intuition and Prophecy. I feel like she is a step towards that Peter Mohrbacher level of refinement that my other pieces lack. I've still a ways to go, but I'm really quite proud of that piece, and, as I've said, I love to create those epic god-creature-like pieces and Lehlune is, quite literally, larger than life!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">As creative types, we're rarely influenced solely by our respective outlets. What other interests contribute to your creative output, or just making you who you are?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Games, movies, music—I am a big fan of each. I've been playing games since the SNES came out—and not just video games, I love board games and card games as well. I've adored movies since I can remember, and music is just fuel for the soul.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">But I also like crafts—I enjoy making things with my hands. I'll make solid perfumes, and I love writing letters with my quill pen. I even have a wax sealing kit, and I send letters to my friends periodically just for the joy of it.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Because I tend to work a lot in digital mediums, those physical activities help ground me in reality. I've also read palms and tarot cards for nearly a decade. Witchcraft and divination interest me greatly. Whether or not you believe, I find it enjoyable to learn about and practice certain forms of these arcane arts.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">That's awesome! I love the diversity there--especially the handwritten letters. Such an awesome personal touch that provides a sense of realism that nothing else can. </span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Actually, it's that element of realism that I loved the most about Everdoor--the fact that, despite the fantastic events and circumstances, there was little need to suspend disbelief. What, in particular, inspired you to write Everdoor?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">In my early 20s, I spent half a year traveling around Europe by myself. It was a good soul-searching journey, and, at the time, I was writing a story which included an early form of what would become Jerro, but no Etcher. The original story I finished near the end of my travels, but I hated it. It was flat and lacking, and, for a few years after, I sort of abandoned writing.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Things happened--my grandma died barely a few months within my coming back to the US, and I was suddenly faced with homelessness. A good family friend helped me get into college and gave me a direction in life, and, during that time, I talked about my book but wasn't serious about it. Another friend back from when I lived in Edinburgh called me one day and we were simply chatting, and he very casually asked about my book—which was gathering cobwebs—and he told me not to give up on writing. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">So I didn't. I went back to that original story and tore it down and kept only the good parts that I liked, and somewhere along the lines I came up with Etcher. I don't even remember how it happened. It felt like Etcher was always there in my mind, she was just waiting for me to look the right way.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Well, once Jerro and Etcher were paired, the dynamic was so much more compelling, so much more interesting. And I decided to make the story more reflective of my adventures and my life—it's why the first book starts in what would be Edinburgh on our Earth, but in Jerro's version of Earth is called Midgard. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I love that--when actual places inspire the creation of impossible realms like Eclipse. What are the creative influences behind it?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There are many influences, and I had mentioned one of them—being Ocarina of Time--but really, Eclipse has grown out of my experiences and wants and desires--feelings that I wanted to capture, and the early magic of my childhood. Sometimes, Eclipse just evolves on its own, and other times I'll see a movie or read a good book and I think, "Ah! I need something like that on Eclipse," or "Oh, how would Ecliptians handle that situation, I wonder?" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Eclipse is the Faerie reflection of my own life, the other world that stands back to back with my own.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Aside from painting an incredible tapestry of places, you've crafted some of the most memorable characters that I've ever read. Do you have a favorite?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">In book 1, I would have to say Etcher, though I am very fond of Mr. Gribs because he is so much fun to write. And I love Jerro, but I think Etcher might take the cake in this one. As for later books, well... There's a few other favorites in book 2, but I don't want to give them away just yet.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">I can already hear Mr. Gribs saying, "Oh dear" in anticipation! Do you have a favorite moment from book one that you can share?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">One of my favorite moments in Everdoor: The Paradise-Purgatory is when Jerro is confronting Etcher for the first time in her shop. I just love Etcher's snarky replies to him, which make Jerro ball up with rage because he just can't argue with her calm logic. I think that scene shows such an interesting foundation to their dynamic. Etcher absolutely gets under Jerro's skin on numerous occasions, but you love to watch it unfold.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Totally! It's funny because, for as different as they are, I felt like they butted heads because of the similarities in their personalities. Suffice to say, I can't <i>wait</i> to continue their adventure in book two. How long do you envision the series being?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I'm aiming for 5 books for the Everdoor series, though it will either be slightly shorter or longer than that. I prefer shorter sequels. That's not to say that the characters of Etcher and Jerro can't be revisited in a different series, but I do believe everything should have a death clause, as it were. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I wouldn't want Everdoor to stretch on and on and get mutated in such a way that it lost touch with its core. And I have many more stories about Eclipse and that universe that I want to write. I'm actually working on a sci-fi series that loosely takes place in the same universe but is not related to Everdoor or Eclipse, and I'd like to have a lot of different series, instead of just staying within one.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">With such a rich, visual tale at your disposal, would you ever consider expanding into the graphic novel realm?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Yes, and that is something I'm working on, though it's very early development and I've found that, while I love to paint my epic creatures and scenes, I'm a bit shite when it comes to comic art. I just can't get into it—I love graphic novels, but it isn't my forte, so that's something I would want to pitch to a team or production studio and would rather stay on as a creative director myself, than actually make the whole graphic novel myself and hate every second of it.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">That's awesome to hear! It sounds like there is still quite a bit to come out of the realm of Eclipse--something that I am looking forward to a great deal! Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me about your art and your writing, Chauncy!</span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Where can readers and future fans find your work and interact with you?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">No problem, Matt! Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me--it's been a pleasure! People can find my work and my social media accounts here:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">https://www.chauncyfelisz.com/</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">https://www.amazon.com/Chauncy-Felisz/e/B07DKT5L45/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">https://www.instagram.com/voodooepii/</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">https://twitter.com/voodooepii</span></p><p><br /></p>The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-25689063588735292432020-11-10T10:46:00.001-05:002020-11-10T10:46:17.651-05:00Review of Chauncy Felisz's Everdoor: The Paradise-Purgatory<p> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TvxdaY10zBo/X6q0DM0zrOI/AAAAAAAACS0/yM8UFmE4J9sr0vDh0wnLT1hpCWZ_T5XjgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1350/Temp.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="845" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TvxdaY10zBo/X6q0DM0zrOI/AAAAAAAACS0/yM8UFmE4J9sr0vDh0wnLT1hpCWZ_T5XjgCLcBGAsYHQ/w250-h400/Temp.png" width="250" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />Awesome cover of the first Everdoor novel<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">It’s been said that everything’s been done before—that there
is no new terrain to be explored within the arts; author Chauncy Felisz’s
brilliant Everdoor: The Paradise-Purgatory says otherwise.<br /><br />An inventive adventure of truly epic proportions, the pages
of this first entry in the Everdoor canon are rife with unforgettable moments,
vividly visual descriptions and depictions of fantastical people and places,
and unique characters that drive the action forward with distinctly
entertaining personalities. Dual protagonists Etcher Everdoor and Jerro Ahliss
serve as perfect foils for one another, embodying traits that are conflicting
and complementary in equal measure.<br /><br />The magical realm of Eclipse feels like a character unto
itself—richly crafted with Felisz’s inimitable array of adjectives that truly
bring it to life. From the delectable taste and aroma of moon buns to the
dazzling display of dancers parading through the lunar-lit streets, Gahza’Dune
is one of the many Ecliptian locations we have the pleasure of glimpsing as our
beloved heroes work towards unraveling the central mystery of the novel, while
also simultaneously generating many more.<br /><br />Despite its surfeit of foreign names and terminology,
Everdoor never confounds the reader with its array of languages. Instead, these
serve to create a formidable backbone that further renders the realm as
realistic—believable in spite of the many magical miracles that inhabit both
Blank-Space and beyond.<br /><br />Simply put, this is an incredible page turner and a series
that I am utterly hooked on. I just put down book one upon reaching its
conclusion and cannot wait to continue the adventure in part two of the saga!</p>FIVE STARS!!!<br /><br />https://www.amazon.com/Paradise-Purgatory-Everdoor-Book-One-ebook/dp/B08GKZ2BBF<p></p>The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-65914617134028896472020-09-10T19:54:00.013-04:002020-09-10T19:56:33.023-04:00Artist Spotlight Interview: Andrei Cosma of PhotoCosma/PhotoDesign<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LiPjqPEwdPI/X1pNf96iwNI/AAAAAAAACQo/OuBmsYRdX24rAYy2MRZXp29ssfKEOEFUACLcBGAsYHQ/s1000/PhotoCosma%2B01.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="665" data-original-width="1000" height="333" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LiPjqPEwdPI/X1pNf96iwNI/AAAAAAAACQo/OuBmsYRdX24rAYy2MRZXp29ssfKEOEFUACLcBGAsYHQ/w500-h333/PhotoCosma%2B01.jpg" width="500" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A sample of Cosma's incredible ability to capture nature's surreal, tenebrous beauty.<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I first encountered Andrei's incredible photography back in 2017 when I was designing the cover for my third novel, <i>The Metamorphoses</i>. I had signed up for an account with CreativeMarket.com, and, as part of a promotional free package of images, I spotted one similar to the photo featured above. I was stunned: not only was it exactly the style that I was looking for, I couldn't get over how hauntingly beautiful it was.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I made contact with the photographer, purchased a photo for use with my book, and came away with a new favorite artist and a new friend as well. I refer to Andrei as an artist because his photographic skills go far beyond merely snapping still shots; instead, he manages to create entire worlds that blend the ordinary with the otherworldly--realms of shadow and light where terrifying uncertainty and awed curiosity are born in equal measures.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I asked him where he conducted his photo shoots, and his response brought an instant smile to my face. After all, it's not every day that an American horror writer and a Transylvanian photographer come into contact! (And, really, is there any more classic location for fans of dark fiction than Transylvania!?)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Aside from continuing to produce his incomparable photography with his brother, Andrei has begun a book cover and promotional materials business. To help spread the word about his work and the new services he is offering, I conducted an interview with him that you can find below:<br /><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">So Andrei, where are you from?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I'm from Zalau--a small town in Transylvania, Romania</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>How long have you been involved in photography/graphic design?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I've been a photographer since 2008.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>Wow--that's more than a decade in the industry! What made you want to pick up a camera/begin designing?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I've always liked visual things like drawing, painting and comics. When I was a little kid, I loved the way it stopped time--capturing something that otherwise would be lost forever. I've been involved with photography since I was about 10 years old, but since 2008 I've actively tried learning more about the field, and getting a strong knowledge foundation.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>Who or what are your biggest photographic inspirations?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Starting out as a nature/landscape photographer, my biggest inspiration is Ansel Adams.</span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />I love Ansel Adams's work! He's definitely one of my favorites, as well. What do you like the most about his photographs?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I like the way he basically simplified landscapes, almost making them abstract in some cases. And his edits are the best - the contrasts, light and shadow in his photos are amazing. I think shooting his photos in black and white helped, but that's what I like about his images: they are so good, they look surreal.</span></p><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>I completely agree. Do you have any other influences or inspirations?</b><br /><br />Other photographers that I really love are Robert Capa and Francesca Woodman. There are more, but I think those three cover all of the picturesque beauty/photojournalism/moody atmospheric photography that I enjoy.</span></div><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>What do you look for when you're creating an image/how important is the original image versus what's done in post editing?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I want to get a good photo out of the camera to begin with, but I am not afraid to edit my images. The camera, the computer--they are all just tools in achieving my vision.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>I feel the same way. I strive always to keep my images authentic, but sometimes what I see when I take the photo in my mind isn't what appears on the memory card!</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Editing is an important part of the process. I think sometimes photos have to be helped to reach their true potential. The camera isn't yet capable of capturing the true beauty like we see it, so we have to help it a bit in post processing.<br /><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">What do you enjoy about photography/graphic design?</span></b></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">What I enjoy most about photography/graphic design is that I can create feelings, emotions with my images, create worlds for the viewer.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>Speaking of creating worlds--Romania seems like an incredible, almost fantasy-like place for photography. What's it like shooting there?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Romania still has some great landscapes, but I have to say that the wild and beautiful parts of Romania are getting smaller and smaller with each passing day. The reasons for this are multiple--and a lot of the times have to do with stupidity and corruption--so this leads to a lot of interesting photo tours.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">A lot of times, it's an adventure just getting to the place I want to photograph, or getting the photos and getting back home in one piece. But when everything is well, and all the pieces fall into place, I can get some interesting results.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>Transylvania is often typecast as the focal point of horror, at least in American popular culture. Do you find any similarities between the stereotypes of the region and what you actually experience there? (In other words--does the setting help to influence the photos?)</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Transylvania really has some interesting places to photograph, especially if the atmospheric conditions are right. I can see where the authors (book and film) have got their inspiration. Some of the stereotypes really do work--like walking through a cold, damp, autumn forest in the evening. Your imagination starts to act up on you, and you can almost see the fantasy creatures lurking in the shadows.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>What are your interests beyond photography? Do you think that they influence your creativity?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Music influences my work the most, I think. A lot of the times when I am out photographing, or when I am sorting and editing the photos, I have certain songs in my mind, and this helps me create those atmospheric images.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Books and movies also have a big influence on me. The most important book authors would be H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, J. R. R. Tolkien. Of course there are more, but I think these three have all the pieces needed for my imagination to work: strange, surreal, paranormal and fantasy worlds.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">As for movies, I am a big fan of Stanley Kurbick and Alfred Hitchcock.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>Those are all excellent choices--masters of their crafts, for sure! So where can folks find your photography?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">You can find my photography on <a href="http://www.photocosma.net">http://www.photocosma.net</a>. I have images for sale on Stocksy.com, and I'm also present on social media. All the links are on the website.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /><b>On the topic of websites, you just launched a book design service, right? What do you offer there?</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Yes, besides photography, there's also a new service: book covers and album covers design. You can find more about those on: <a href="http://www.photocoverdesign.com">http://www.photocoverdesign.com</a> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">There, you can get your custom eBook cover, full book cover, or social media promotion kit. Here is a sample of some of my work:<br /><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pbMFLCpYl1o/X1qUj44G6cI/AAAAAAAACQ0/pRs3Y78G42MCUwhYgsjEaLx61ncyuiRGACLcBGAsYHQ/s1000/PhotoCosma%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="667" height="625" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pbMFLCpYl1o/X1qUj44G6cI/AAAAAAAACQ0/pRs3Y78G42MCUwhYgsjEaLx61ncyuiRGACLcBGAsYHQ/w416-h625/PhotoCosma%2B02.jpg" width="416" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Sample cover artwork from:<br /><a href="http://www.photocoverdesign.com" style="text-align: left;">http://www.photocoverdesign.com</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Thank you to Andrei for a great interview! If you're a writer looking for an eye-catching, high quality book cover or promotional materials, please consider checking out PhotoCoverDesign.com! Also, be sure to give Andrei a follow or a like on his social media channels!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PhotoCosma/">https://www.facebook.com/PhotoCosma/</a></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/photocosma">https://twitter.com/photocosma</a></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/photocosma/">https://www.instagram.com/photocosma/</a></span></p><p><br /></p>The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-73757984201815214232020-03-25T19:33:00.001-04:002020-03-25T19:33:13.225-04:00A Love Letter to The Captain<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4TdJTqc3CkA/Xnvm0mR-w_I/AAAAAAAACIg/NX_w_-8TUvcvb54_RmYUEJXdzddaiYMvwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/glowing-eyes-png-free-download-fourjayorg-glowing-eyes-png-1280_720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4TdJTqc3CkA/Xnvm0mR-w_I/AAAAAAAACIg/NX_w_-8TUvcvb54_RmYUEJXdzddaiYMvwCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/glowing-eyes-png-free-download-fourjayorg-glowing-eyes-png-1280_720.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><a href="https://pngio.com/images/png-a1169670.html">https://pngio.com/images/png-a1169670.html</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A Love Letter to The Captain</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The playgrounds are empty;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The hospitals are full.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Captain Trips is here—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">There’s nothing we can do.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">There are just too many bodies</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">For only one bed.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I can hear the Monster Shouter screaming,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Bring out your dead!”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">They want us to stay inside</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">To help them flatten the curve.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Maybe this is all karma—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Just what we deserve.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We suffer from the strain</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Of COVID-19,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And slowly go insane</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">From social distancing.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The sports are gone,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The concerts quiet.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Too much more</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Could spark a riot.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">No one saw this coming</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Despite the writing on the wall.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It was always “when” not “if”,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This fate we would befall. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s quiet now in Jungleland</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">As we adjust to the new norm.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We’re writing our own epitaph</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">As we seek Shelter from the Storm.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The beaches are abandoned—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You can hear the Night Surf.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Step outside and you might think</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">That you’re the last person on earth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">From Arnette to Ogunquit—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And Vegas out to Boulder,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In New York and L.A.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The fever burns a little colder.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">They say Don't Dream It's Over—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">That we shouldn't Fear the Reaper.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Is it the Eve of Destruction?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The darkness grows deeper.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We’re antisocial socialites</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">All across the nation.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We love to hate and hate to love</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In silent isolation.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We’re led by narcissistic sycophants—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Solipsistic dilettantes.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Puerile pedants and</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Misanthropic hypocrites</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Who care more about money</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">And their corporate bottom lines,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Than the millions who will suffer</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">For a greed so blind.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">It all starts at the top—</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">That’s where it all comes from.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The WHO and CDC say</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The worst is yet to come.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Still we Stand and salute</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The American Flagg,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">With Sympathy For The Devil:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Baby, Can You Dig Your Man?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-72038750054726952372018-06-18T11:15:00.000-04:002018-06-18T11:15:10.665-04:00When Winning Isn't Enough<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
This flag football season has provided me with arguably the
most fun and excitement that I’ve ever had engaging with youth sports. My son
was one of the best players on an excellent team and getting to watch him
develop as an athlete and a leader on the field was extremely rewarding. My
daughter is the youngest and smallest player on her team but she has proven
herself (I hope) to be a worthy member of her own team—one that sits a single
game away from a championship.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As thrilling as this season has been for me, though, it has
been equally disheartening and disappointing. Sarah’s team finished the regular
season as the only unbeaten team in the K-2 Gold division, which should be
laudable in its own right—and ordinarily would be, if it didn’t happen to be a team
comprised of all girls.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I try to keep my opinions to myself and limit the frequency
with which I proffer them—particularly on divisive issues. Personally, I feel
like, collectively, our society has become way too sensitive; too many
innocuous statements and situations get blown out of proportion—diluting the
overarching message and dampening the underlying cause by drawing all of the
attention onto the seemingly menial issues and instances.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope you’ll take my word for it that what has happened this
season, with this team of young women, is not trivial or dismissible. Instead,
it is atrocious, disgusting, and indicative of what a sham the purportedly
progressive purviews are that people claim to have regarding women in this
country.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Throughout this season, this Broncos team has been scoffed
at—derided and outright dismissed by everyone from kids and parents from other
teams to competing coaches and, sadly, even the commissioner of the league who,
on SEVERAL occasions, had the gall to pompously predict that the girls had “no
chance whatsoever” of beating the team in front of them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet that’s all they did. Repeatedly. Girls’ teams, coed
teams, all boys teams. Whatever team they faced, they didn’t simply defeat—they
absolutely destroyed them. These weren’t fluke victories—squeaked out with some
miracle occurrences: they were blowouts. The Broncos more than DOUBLED the
entire scoring output of the combined efforts of EVERY TEAM THEY FACED. They outscored
their opponents 190-78 based upon the posted scores (which are actually
underreported).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite all of this—yesterday at the field, my wife
overheard several different parents—some even on my son’s team—saying after
they lost, “well at least we didn’t lose to THEM [the Broncos].” That’s been
the sentiment all season—that this team somehow doesn’t belong—that they’ve had
things handed to them. People are saying that a Super Bowl victory would be
great because it might engender an all-girls’ league.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me, that’s utter bullshit. This Broncos team is proving
exactly why there SHOULDN’T be an all-girls’ league or division. They’ve beaten
more all-boys teams than all-girls ones. Why, then, shouldn’t they have the
opportunity to compete with “the best,” (a.k.a. the boys) when they’ve not only
demonstrated an ability to win but dominated?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason why is simple: too many men in the world still
think of women as being inferior. Whether it’s in one tiny way like their
driving skills or a more egregious, deep-rooted sentiment that speaks to the
very core of their capabilities, misogyny is like a virus that is thriving in
this country.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What’s the big deal? It’s just sports, man.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What’s the big deal? These girls are between 5 and 8 years
old, they’re playing in a RECREATIONAL sports league—one that’s supposedly all
for fun—with absolutely nothing at stake. No cash prizes, no national press, no
glory other than the sheer joy of competition. Despite ALL OF THIS, they have
faced nothing but dismissive commentary when they’ve won, questions about the
very validity of their playing in the first place—snide comments, hurtful
“jokes,” complaints about their schedule—all of this because they are winning.
Because they are beating boys teams. Because they are ruffling the feathers of
the long-established tradition of males playing out on the field and females
being relegated to the sidelines.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The saddest part in all of this---and certainly the most
telling—is the fact, from its inception, this has been a coed league. Some of
the best players have been girls but apparently, in small doses, that’s
acceptable—probably because there are other equally talented boys to capture
the adulation and adoration. There’s never been an all-girls team like this one
and a sickening majority of men are incapable of recognizing the beauty in what
they are achieving.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve heard people say, “Well they don’t have daughters so
they just don’t understand,” and, while that is true, it’s still a cop out.
Many of these men have sisters and female cousins and most, presumably, have or
had mothers, aunts, and grandmothers—women who have had to face the same type
of vitriol that they themselves are spewing. But here’s the kicker—the worst
part: all of these men that are engaging in this conjecture have kids playing
in the league…which means that most of them if not all of them have wives,
girlfriends, or even exes who are women—the mothers of those children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If these men can sit there in judgment about a group of 5-8
year old girls, then what the hell do you think they really feel about those
wives—the other women in their lives? If they are rankled by the idea of young
girls succeeding against their sons, then what are the odds that they would
champion adult women earning positions and higher salaries in male dominated
professional industries? Breaking barriers in professional athletics? Securing
equal stature in damn near anything that ACTUALLY matters in life when they
can’t even do so with a group of kids in a just-for-fun football league?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You want to know why it matters and why it bothers me so much
to have experienced this this season? It’s because this is just the start of
what these girls are going to face in their lives. It’s the molehill that’s
going to precede the mountains that each and every one of them are going to be
forced to climb simply because too many men are too fucking insecure to admit
not only that women might be equal to them, but that they might actually be
superior to them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This season has been a microcosm of what the rest of these
girls’ lives are going to look like. When they’ve been faced with a challenge,
they’ve been told that they stood no chance to win. When they’ve succeeded,
it’s because it’s been made easier for them—that they were somehow gifted an
advantage of either an easier schedule or a team not having all of its players.<br />
<br />
If they win the Super Bowl, I’m sure it will be more of the same, but if they
lose? The thought of the sick, smug delight that so many of these fathers will
rejoice in fills my veins with acid.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I guess that’s just something they’ll have to get used
to, isn’t it?</div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-61553409306141032792018-02-22T09:01:00.001-05:002018-02-22T09:01:52.581-05:00The Role of Parenting in Modern Mass ShootingsWhenever I'm faced with a situation, I try to approach it
analytically and with a critical eye. I take the available information
that I have, stand it against any presumptions or assumptions I might
make to the contrary, and do my best to find the solution or truth
somewhere in the middle ground. I trust my gut instincts rather than my
emotions--employ logic and reason wherever possible.<br />
<br />
With
regards to the latest school shootings and the consequent rash of
reaction on social media, I feel compelled to take the same approach in
examining the issue. Scientific inquiry oftentimes necessitates the use
of both constants and variables to determine the underlying cause or
nature of a situation. By employing that approach with the school
shootings, we can reach the following conclusions:<br />
<br />
Education
and school buildings along with student bodies represent a constant; we
have had them on our soil well before we even became a nation.<br />
<br />
Firearms
and firearm ownership are also constants; these too have been
guaranteed in our Constitution and have been a part of the fabric of
American culture since our country's inception.<br />
<br />
The
variable, then, as I see it, is society itself--the mores and purviews
that inform us, collectively, and the parenting that informs our
children, specifically.<br />
<br />
My point is that, for the past
242 years, we have had guns, we have had kids in schools, and yet,
historically, we have not had drastically high numbers of incidents
bringing those two things together. If anything, the very notion didn't
jump into the collective conscience until the Columbine shooting
happened--an integral moment in our societal evolution as the rise of
the Internet and eventually social media was beginning to build steam.<br />
<br />
If schools and gun ownership have remained the same, then what has changed? To me, it's obvious: our <i>society</i> <b><i>itself</i></b>
is what is leading to these horrific atrocities. And, really, should
that come as a surprise to anyone with two brain cells to rub together?<br />
<br />
Look
at the way modern life occurs versus merely twenty years ago. Back
then, you would get bullied IN school by the SCHOOL bully. You would
come home and find refuge. You might even talk to your
parents/siblings/friends about it but, largely, it remained a
geographically bound issue: once you left the school grounds, you were
free to recover from the mistreatment and figure out how to cope with
it.<br />
<br />
Now? The most insidious abuse occurs OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL <i>ON TOP OF</i> whatever bullying is going on within the school's walls. Modern children (<b>CHILDREN</b>,
for Christ's sake!) spend a great deal of their time on social
media--whether it's Snapchat or Instagram--Facebook or Twitter--they
exist largely in a world that caters to the cowardly--people who are
emboldened by anonymity or at the very least the physical distance that
the Internet realm provides them. These modern children are ill-equipped
to deal with the responsibility of inhabiting such a realm (and it IS a
responsibility--too many parents fail to recognize that) and, as a
result of their lack of coping skills, they find themselves filled with
rage and sorrow and no constructive way to expel the emotions that haunt
them everywhere they go.<br />
<br />
But I don't blame the kids--not in the least; after all, they merely learn from <u>us</u>.
Look around you the next time you go out to eat at a restaurant. Take
note of how many families are at a table together and how many screens
are lit up. Children--hell, toddlers and INFANTS--sit there with devices
shoved in front of their faces. They are completely disengaged not just
from the conversation but from reality around them.<br />
<br />
And who's fault is that?<br />
<br />
It's
the same damn people who do the same damn thing! The reason so many
parents think nothing of how much time their kids spend on devices that
are turning their brains into pudding is because they, themselves, think
nothing of spending their own time doing the same thing. There is NO
reason that a child should be sitting at a dinner table with a fucking
iPad or iPhone watching videos, playing games, or otherwise being
detached from their lives.<br />
<br />
The reason it happens is at
once obvious and appalling: it's a cop out--the easy thing to do. Our
collective attention spans are approaching zero as are our levels of
patience and abilities to cope with negative situations. These parents
don't want to be bothered with expending the additional energy required
to corral their kids when they're out to eat or, worse, to find more
constructive ways to get their kids to do what they want them to do at
home (do you have any idea how many times I've heard, "Oh, I don't know <i>how</i> you do it! So and so just refuses to eat dinner without his/her iPad!"<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Are you fucking kidding me?<br />
<br />
You're
a goddamn parent! It's your RESPONSIBILITY to parent your child,
whether you like it or not and whether you want that responsibility or
not. I cringe every time I hear someone say shit like that--things like,
"I have no choice," "(s)he won't let me," "they just don't listen." Who
the fuck is in charge here!? Is it the kids or is it the adults?<br />
<br />
You
know how often you'll see my kids playing on my phone at the
supermarket? At a restaurant? In the car? Entertaining them with
electronics--appeasing their appetites for virtual distractions?<br />
<br />
Never (or as close to it as possible). I don't allow it. I <i>won't</i> allow it because, in my eyes, I <i>can't</i>
allow it; the consequences of so seemingly simple and innocuous an
action are so far reaching that most people can't even fathom the ripple
effect.<br />
<br />
And guess what: my kids survive just fine. No tantrums--no whining. Hell, they don't even <i>ask</i>! In fact, if they DO ask, I remind them of the importance of self-control, discipline, and entertaining <i>themselves</i> rather than allowing a device to do it for them.<br />
<br />
Do
you know why it works? It's not magic, I assure you. It's the fact that
I am unequivocally, unquestionably, in charge. It's undeniably still a
democracy--they have voices and are encouraged to speak up,
respectfully, when they have opinions on things--but, ultimately, I
don't give them even the slightest opportunity to think that they run
the show. I rule with an iron fist that can be as soft as velvet or as
strong as steel but, above all things, one that is <b><u>consistent</u></b>.<br />
<br />
That
really is the key to all of it: consistency. My kids know what to
expect from me every time we go out somewhere (or really in most
situations in general). There's no wiggle room--no gray area. There's no
"suddenly THIS time it's okay to play on daddy's phone but then the
next time it's not okay." It might seem counterintuitive to folks who
are afraid to step up and be hard on their kids (though, in truth, it's
not being hard at all--it's doing what you're supposed to be doing) but
children actually <i>thrive</i> when they have structure like that, even if it diminishes their perceived happiness.<br />
<br />
I
know this not just from parenting but from teaching too. I was lucky
enough to teach in a school that had its student body representing the
absolute worst, most dangerous areas of New York City. My classroom was
filled with kids who were in gangs, who found themselves routinely
suspended for fighting and otherwise engaging in violence. I treated
every one of those kids the same way and, for the most part, they
excelled. I had the toughest kids confide in me--ones who terrified
their schoolmates simply by looking at them coming up and giving me
pounds and high fives in the hallway.<br />
<br />
How did I do
this? By having high expectations for them, strict rules for them to
follow, and the belief in them that they would be able to achieve the
former AND honor and follow the latter. Did it work for <i>every</i> kid? Of course not--but the results that I did enjoy were remarkably encouraging.<br />
<br />
With parenting, the percentage of success is even higher because, well, they're <i>your</i>
kids! You spend far more time with them and both of you are far more
invested in the circumstances and relationship because of your filial
bond. The problem though is that you actually have to <i>be</i> hard on them AND consistent.<br />
<br />
Nowadays,
though, everyone takes the easy way out with things because damn near
everything has lost its value. When I was in high school, very few
people that I hung out with had beepers let alone cell phones. We would
make plans at the beginning of the week for the weekend--arranging a
meet up at the movies or the mall or even just at someone's house. Do
you have any idea how low the rate of canceling was back then? It's so
disconcerting to compare making plans back then with doing so today.<br />
<br />
I
love everyone that I have in my life and I truly enjoy spending time
with them. With that said, the vast majority of people outside of my
very, <i>very</i> small circle of closest friends are absolutely AWFUL
with following through on plans. I'm not exaggerating when I say that
out of the last FIFTY times I engaged in the process of making plans
with people--meaning individual "let's meet up and do this at this place
at this time" plans--I successfully met up with those people fewer than
a dozen times. That means that fewer than one in every four
conversations actually resulted in a get together.<br />
<br />
Many
times it's people bailing at the last minute but far too often it's a
text/online conversation that goes almost exactly like this:<br />
<br />
Me: "Hey! Good to see you!"<br />
Them: "Hey, absolutely! How are you? We should totally get together sometime."<br />
Me: "Definitely. When are you free?"<br />
Them: ::gives availability::<br />
Me: "Great--I'm free on all of those days. Just let me know which one works for you and I'll be there!"<br />
Them: ::silence::<br />
<br />
Maybe
it's just me but I think that the higher likelihood lies with the way
people interact with each other, especially online. Such little value is
placed upon conversations and interactions because there are just
simply so damn many of them. We say things we don't mean "Let's get
together!" knowing that we can easily either forget about or actively
dismiss them without much consequence, if only because, again, it
happens so many times!<br />
<br />
People's impulse control has
diminished severely since the advent of social media; it's all about
instant gratification with an emphasis upon whatever makes <i>us</i>
happy, regardless of anyone else's feelings. People bail on plans with
disheartening frequency, frankly, because they found something else that
is more appealing to them. There's no honor anymore--no sticking with
your word because, well, no one else does either. Plus, online
interaction has become a surrogate for actual physical interaction
(having a "conversation" on Facebook amounts to the same thing as
spending time with someone in person).<br />
<br />
Twenty years
ago, AOL was still nascent and other online means of communicating
weren't even available. If you wanted to interact with people, you
really had two options: get together in person or speak on the phone.
Some folks might equate the latter with social media due to the
geographical separation but there is a glaring, undeniable difference
between having an actual, physical conversation over the phone and even
just texting: you have access to real-time emotional reactions. If you
say something hurtful (or happifying--it doesn't have to be all gloom
and doom), you're not only privy to the immediate impact of those
words--you're responsible for the consequences at that exact moment!<br />
<br />
These
younger generations--the ones who are shooting up schools and crying
out for help--are growing up in an environment that offers very little
meaningful development. They're told or shown literally from their
infancy to find meaning/entertainment/anything online rather than being
encouraged to explore the actual world on their own. Kids in 2018 watch
OTHER kids opening and playing with fucking toys as a form of
entertainment.<br />
<br />
Please--let that sink in for a minute.<br />
<br />
How
utterly, abjectly pathetic is that? I'll bet you many people don't see
anything wrong with it though! Never even gave it a second thought!<br />
<br />
"What's the harm?" they'll ask.<br />
<br />
Seriously?<br />
<br />
The
harm is that these kids are being taught to value things of absolutely
no importance whatsoever--to prioritize these little bite-sized morsels
of fast food existence that will sate them just long enough to pursue
the next one. They're not being encouraged to use their OWN
imaginations--to ask questions about the world and to seek their
answers. They're not being told, tacitly or otherwise, that their
parents or society as a whole believes that they can do things for
themselves but rather that they should be watching others do those
things...and somehow they're supposed to be fulfilled by this?<br />
<br />
Give me a break.<br />
<br />
People
are so out of touch with themselves let alone their kids or other
people in general that it feels like life has become a lost, meaningless
cause. They are unwilling to expend the effort--to take the difficult
road not even purely for the sake of the experience it will be provide
but the very tangible, tactile results and rewards that such a course
provides. They are failing their own children and failing themselves in
equal measures by not stepping up to the plate and <i>actually</i> parenting them--engaging with them in real time, in actual space.<br />
<br />
Encourage your kids to spend quality time with people <i>in person</i>
and to stop wasting their lives on Snapchat, Instagram, and whatever
other dozen social media outlets they're spreading themselves across.
Stop acting like your hands are tied--like controlling your children
(whether they're toddlers, teenagers, or anything in between) is an
impossibility or, worse, is someone else's job. Stop seeking sympathy
because your kids don't listen to you when your absentee parenting don't
merit their damn respect in the first place!<br />
<br />
You want
these kids to stop picking up guns? Have them put their fucking devices
down first and stop spending so much time online. Then, give them the
structure and the support that they'll need to navigate this crazy
cesspool mindfuck of a society that we have created for themselves.
Don't worry about fucking your kids up--about them not liking you or
about you being their friend. Be their parent first. Show them what
leadership looks like--give them something to aspire to. Embody the
change that you want to see in them--in society at large.<br />
<br />
There
is absolutely no reason that an elementary school or even junior high
school child should have unfettered, unsupervised access not just to a
device like a smartphone or tablet but specifically to apps that
encourage negative communication and emboldens keyboard cowards. These
kids do not have the mental faculties and emotional maturity to navigate
the turbid waters that social media presences represent. There is
something about things like Facebook and the like that excites the
darkest, most primal, primeval aspects of ourselves. We've proven in the
past two years that most ADULTS don't even have the self-control to use
these things properly and we're somehow expecting that
children--particularly hormone-riddled adolescents--are supposed to
figure it out for themselves?<br />
<br />
Bullshit! If more parents demonstrated not just an interest but an actual <i>presence</i>
in their kids' lives--in ALL aspects, particularly online--then so many
more of the warnings signs that are out there would be picked up upon!
You're not being intrusive by demanding to look at what your kid is
doing online--to see how they're interacting with others through social
media nor are you being cruel or antediluvian by outright denying them
access to those things. What you're being is a good goddamn parent--one
who not only cares about YOUR child but all those with whom they
interact, by association.<br />
<br />
How else can you explain things like the following:<br />
<br />
<span class="st">"An
American Airlines employee saved two young girls from getting on a
plane to meet someone who authorities suspect is an online predator. The
girls,
15 and 17, hoped to travel from Sacramento to New York to go spend time
with a man named “Drey” they met on Instagram, KOVR-TV reported."</span><br />
<br />
Social media isn't inherently evil nor are the devices that we access them from. The problem of course is the <i>way</i>
in which we use these things and the lack of importance that we place
upon regulating them within our own households. Too many people are
allowing their children to use these things in a decidedly adult manner,
oblivious to the responsibilities that are inherent in maintaining an
online existence. There's no oversight--no authority other than that
which is formed within those virtual communities and conversations.<br />
<br />
It's
like a modern, digital version of Lord of the Flies. No matter how
mature our kids might seem to us, they're still children and as such
they need not only our love and support but our guidance and structure
too. They need to learn from us what matters, truly, in life and what
should be relegated to leisure time and entertainment. We have to hold
not only our kids accountable (that's a separate issue entirely--this
pandemic of "not my kid" mentalities that shirk responsibility and onus
ownership) but ourselves for the consequences of our inactions.<br />
<br />
If
we all made ourselves aware of what was going on in our kids' lives
beyond what we can see--whether that means peering into their virtual
realms or simply encouraging them to discuss the aspects of our lives
that we are not readily privy to--then maybe we could solve many of the
issues that could potentially lead to tragedies like the ones we've
seen. You're never too busy to take an active interest in your child's
life no matter what you do. Turning a blind eye or failing to expend the
effort to know--REALLY know--what is going on inside of their hearts
and minds (let alone their phones)--is an active choice.<br />
<br />
We need to start making better ones if we expect to see any real change in these horrible events.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-80242374012546033052018-02-09T15:24:00.001-05:002018-02-09T15:24:18.061-05:00A Microcosm of Modern America<br />
Ever see this commercial? If not, give it a quick watch.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lWEz2-pw6iw" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
What did you see? I suppose that depends upon your degree of proclivity towards moral umbrage. I really liked the song and went looking online to see if I could find the name of it so that I could buy it. This was what I found instead:<br />
<br />
"I would like <b>Verizon management</b>
to review a Fios Quantum TV ad where a pre-pubescent girl is fetishized
with red nail polish, red lipstick, 'Lolita' type sunglasses, and a
bikini, to look as though she's twenty-five. The child is barely ten
years old. Do you believe that masquerading a pre-pubscent child in the
trappings of adulthood to market a product is okay?<br />
<br />
<b>In this moment of cultural awareness, WOMEN are speaking out about being preyed upon sexually </b>— and Verizon management's approval of the overt-sexualization of this child must be understood for what it is —<b>'bait'. </b>When a young girl is 'fetishized' as a means to signify 'DESIRE' it is offensive.<br />
<br />
Your ad has struck such a negative chord in me, that every time I see it, I become angrier.<br />
<br />
Women do not want to see their children objectified in advertising.<br />
<br />
Verizon (Fios Quantum) does a disservice to our intelligence by continuing to run this ad."<br />
<br />
<br />
My first thought was, "Wait...what?" I was so lost because I didn't see <i>any</i> of that in the ad. And yet, the further along I scrolled upon the page, the more indignant commentary I encountered: <br />
<br />
<div class="lia-quilt-row lia-quilt-row-main">
<div class="lia-quilt-column lia-quilt-column-24 lia-quilt-column-single lia-quilt-column-main-content">
<div class="lia-quilt-column-alley lia-quilt-column-alley-single">
<div class="lia-message-body lia-component-body-signature-highlight-escalation" id="messageBodySimpleDisplay_5">
<div class="lia-message-body-content">
<br />
"The current FIOS ad depicting a young girl as an object of
sexual desire is repulsive on its merits, and doubly so given the
current social climate. Objectifying a prepubescent girl for the sole
purpose of promoting your products is blatant exploitation. The
national conversation concerning the behavior of Roy Moore should have
been enough for your executives to reject this ad campaign as tasteless
and inappropriate. We are FIOS customers and are very disturbed by your
choice of subject material."<br />
<br />
<br />
Then, out of the ether, voices of reason: </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
"No we aren’t. She’s a girl in a swimsuit in a pool. I came to look for the song."<br />
<br />
"You have got to be kidding, I see a young girl floating around in a pool
and dont see anything wrong with it and you see something sexual
lolololol. So I guess every young girl around a swimming pool with a
swim suit on is wrong in your eyes? This thread is unreal and just plain
stupid."<br />
<br />
<br />
Now, to this point, I began to view the thread as merely a dichotomy of perspectives--two sides that reached drastically different conclusions about the same objective material. I respect people's inherent right to think for themselves (when they do) and to express the viewpoints they have reached through their own internal decision-making processes...<br />
<br />
...but then I got to these two comments:<br />
<br />
<br />
"Agree that this is a terrible commercial. It sexualizes a young child
to look like Lolita. Why don't more people complain? This is a
pedophile's dream. I hate it. Fios should be ashamed as well as the
advertising firm that produced it." <br />
<br />
"Absolutely appalled by the audacity of this company. Continuing with
this disturbing ad. After the backlash from your own customers over
this commercial you choose to continue running it. So this ad isn't
meant to sell us a product as much as an idea? One too disturbing for
this dad. I'm leaving verizon and encouraging others to the same." <br />
<br />
<br />
There, in those two admissions of abject horror, lies a microcosm of everything that is wrong with our country right now and the reason that we are so utterly separated as a nation. People walk around agog with their mouths open asking how the hell we got to be in the position that we are in--how people could elect someone like Donald Trump into office.<br />
<br />
Seriously?<br />
<br />
It's because of shit like the above! For the past fifteen years <u><i>at least</i></u>, there has been this growing sense of moral indignation and entitlement among people (mostly of liberal sociopolitical leanings). This, consequently, has led to ever more boisterous, vociferous voicings of complaints about, well, everything!<br />
<br />
Somewhere during the last two decades people stopped being capable of accepting the fact that, just because they don't like something, a massive change is warranted. Far too many people cannot simply be in disagreement with something--or even just to hold it in disdain and derision. No--whatever the object of their opprobrium is, it must change simply and solely because THEY are offended by it.<br />
<br />
Look at the first of those final two comments. That question that's asked--"Why don't more people complain?"--is EXACTLY why Donald Trump got elected. TOO many people complain! About anything and everything!<br />
<br />
So many conservative Americans have endured an unending barrage of bellyaching at the hands of their liberal brothers and sisters--a never-ending stream of complaints about everything from the environment and global warming to gender and racial rights. It's not enough for those individuals to be upset with something--they have to force their viewpoints upon everyone else. Their outrage is at once palpable and puerile.<br />
<br />
I ask, instead: Why don't FEWER people complain?<br />
<br />
When did we suddenly become so ridiculously thin-skinned? I thought that we were pretty damn tough, as a people, and yet, time and again, the village idiots become the town criers, prattling on about whatever latest thing has "offended" them. Isn't it said that when everything is offensive then nothing is?<br />
<br />
How about the guy in the second quotation?<br />
<br />
"I'm leaving verizon and encouraging others to do the same."<br />
<br />
Seriously? Over a fucking advertisement?<br />
<br />
And yet, this speaks precisely to what really serves as the underlying, subconscious core of the issue: our collective lack of self-esteem and skewed perception of value. I explored <a href="http://www.thestayathomescholar.com/2015/08/why-pet-parenting-represents-nadir-of.html">this issue back in 2015</a>, somewhat satirically, but the point remains the same: people have lost sight of things that truly matter and no longer pursue things that provide actual fulfillment in their lives. They'd rather chase the ephemeral, evanescent serotonin squirts they get from social media and the safety and comfort of like-minded people than actually go out and improve themselves--challenge themselves, risk failure--engage in activities of meaning.<br />
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The guy who is leaving Verizon is sending a tacit message of superiority--one that is echoed, unconsciously, by millions of people in millions of way every day. What he's really saying is this: "This [the ad] is morally objectionable and I, being a being of higher moral value and more discerning taste, cannot allow myself to be dragged through this societal mud and must instead adhere to my strict code of ethics that elevates me above the rest of the swine [who, in this case, enjoy the ad or don't find anything wrong with it]."<br /><br />In other words: if you don't leave Verizon then you're a terrible person and, because this guy IS leaving, it somehow makes him better than you [and everyone else who chooses a different path].<br />
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Here's the problem with occupying the moral high ground when it's as rocky and unstable as this: you risk falling and looking damn foolish when you start dancing around, drawing attention to how noble you are.<br />
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This moral knight is making a stand with this Verizon ad but I'll be you <i>anything</i> that he breaks a hundred ethical codes every day either without realizing or it choosing to ignore them. People like this forget that they're human and thus fallible. They think nothing of judging the shit out of something inane and innocuous like a television ad and then ignoring the very real rules and regulations that comprise our society. Do you think this guy holds the door for people at the store? Does he stop several feet BEFORE every stop sign he comes to? And uses his turn signal every time?<br />
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Probably not.<br />
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And therein lies the rub: this <i>selective</i> morality. The moral fabric of our society has become more of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel rather than a verifiable codex laden with absolute terms. People think nothing of reaching conclusions without engaging in any hermeneutical analysis--forgetting that theirs isn't the <i>only</i> viewpoint nor is it necessarily the right or defensible one.<br />
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Me? I see a precocious tween attempt to effect adulthood has she sees it (as evidenced by the macaroons where most kids that age would be wolfing down Oreos and the like). She is attempting to appear older than she actually is--thus her expression of disgust for her younger brother, who, clearly, has no trouble embracing his youth.<br />
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Or, as another contributor put it:<br />
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"I think she's a cute kid trying to look and act all grown up as she shows disdain for her childish younger brother."<br />
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Just because you're offended by something doesn't make you right! Not only that--just because you're offended, it doesn't mean that anything needs to change. Only when people save their outrage for matters of true import will we begin to bridge the gap that exists between the two American factions. Until then, we will remain a nation divided--crippled by the sniveling drivel of those who cannot bear to use their analytical energy to examine themselves critically rather than to find ways to force society to change to fit into their very narrow views of how the world should be.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-44556220894121258232017-10-13T16:15:00.000-04:002017-10-13T17:02:30.514-04:00My 31 Favorite Dark Movies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There's no more inspiring time of year for me as a fiction writer than autumn--particularly September and October. Halloween looms in the darkness igniting my imagination with the flames of horror and dread. The wind howls as the temperature dips filling us with chills both physical and psychic; the days grow greyer and night encroaches ever closer upon the day. <br />
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It's a time that's geared perfectly towards snuggling under a cozy blanket with popcorn and watching horror movies. It's a genre that I grew up around as my mother would always rent movies or watch them on television while she conducted her daily chores. I can remember sneaking glances of B-horror movies like The Wishmaster and classics like The Hills Have Eyes while she ironed or folded laundry.<br />
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My personal taste in movies (horror, in particular) is as eclectic as my musical preferences and I believe stems from an inborn desire to blaze my own path in whatever I do. Though I can appreciate the classics in both cinema and music my favorites tend rarely to reflect the most popular of hits. As such, my personal list of favorite dark movies is at once multifarious and indicative of an inclination towards films that resonated with me--ones that I enjoyed instinctively and instantaneously regardless of their success at the box office or their ratings on IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes.<br />
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<i>**MINIMAL SPOILERS MARKED WITH AN ASTERISK PAIR AHEAD!**</i><br />
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#31 DUEL<br />
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Anyone who attended Marine Park Junior High School in the nineties knew Mr. Perl. He always rode his bike to school and was one of the most popular teachers in the school thanks in large part to his wealth of knowledge and depth of interest in movies, horror in particular. I was lucky enough to take his class and was introduced to a slew of incredible films including the directorial debut of one Steven Spielberg--an awesome thriller called Duel. Based upon a Richard Matheson (of Twilight Zone fame) short story, it serves as the ultimate warning tale against road rage.<br />
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**SPOILER ALERT**<br />
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What makes the movie work is the ever-growing sense of dread and danger that builds throughout the film and ultimately ends without ever seeing the face of the driver; the true terror comes from the circumstance rather the identity of its progenitor.<br />
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#30 STIR OF ECHOES<br />
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This one flew under the radar for the most part but it's my favorite Kevin Bacon film because I remember his performance capturing the terrifying sense of mania experienced by the main character as he descended slowly into perceived madness. I'm pretty sure I saw this one at the movies (Knapp Street UA FTW!) and so it has a special personal relevance as an adolescent evening adventure. I can still picture both the lovemaking scene and the creepy ass appearance(s) of the otherworldly figure that serves as the central plot point.<br />
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This one works for me because its focus is fairly narrow but the real horror comes from the impact that the situation has upon not just the protagonist but upon his relationship with his wife as well; his fear of losing his sanity resonated with me at an integral time in my own emotional development.<br />
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#29 THE BIRDS<br />
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Hitchcock is a master of cinema in many regards but my favorite of his contributions is The Birds. Though the practical special effects seem dated by today's standards the ever growing sense of dread that he manages to manifest in the movie is exceptional. Also, the visuals at certain points--portentous moments that seem to imply that the end of the world is approaching--are terrifying in their own right.<br />
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The impact of this one is apparent as soon as one steps outside and sees a murder or crows perched upon a power pole and telephone lines!<br />
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#28 KRAMPUS<br />
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This one is a relative newcomer to my catalogue but its impact was both immediate and long-lasting (as soon as the movie ended I began my hunt for an authentic replica of the Krampus bell and began looking forward to watching it with the children one night before Christmas). It's a pretty straightforward modern horror film though its execution places it more in my wheelhouse. I believe that comedy and horror go hand-in-hand and the performances in this film manage to capitalize on both (though the humor is inherently dark and occasionally situational).<br />
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The visuals are strong, the subject matter is unique as far as this list is concerned, and the overall effect (including an ending that generates quite a few questions!) made this one an instant favorite for me. <br />
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#27 WITCH<br />
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My relationship with this movie is a complicated one: I had expectations that went unfulfilled but what ultimately replaced my preconceived notions was an awesome, unsettling cinematic experience. Much in the vein of other films **SPOILER ALERT** where characters are picked off one by one, there is an inherent element of mystery that keeps viewers engaged. Where this film draws its greatest strength though (apart from the phenomenal performance of its lead actress) is from the ever-mounting sense of dread as the situation devolves perpetually towards its inevitable albeit surprising conclusion.<br />
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This is a film that maximizes the minimization of setting changes and characters; what you see is what you get right from the beginning of the movie. Excelling amid those constraints is difficult but remarkably rewarding when the end result is as successful as it is here.<br />
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Definitely want to add this t-shirt to the collection now from the folks at <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/451054-black-phillip-black-phillip">Teepublic.com!</a><br />
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#26 THE FOG<br />
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I'm a sucker for inclement weather when it comes to my movies and my photography (I love dark clouds, in particular). The Fog employs this in spades while also utilizing minimal jump scares and excellent lighting to proffer the implication of impending doom. The film gradually develops but then sustains an elevated level of tension that persists right through until the end thanks in large part to the music, which serves to create an environment of ambient eerieness.<br />
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A John Carpenter classic that features one of his best soundtracks.<br />
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#25 IDENTITY<br />
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Any movie that accomplishes its genre-specific tasks while also bucking those conventions and inciting deep thinking on my part is a winner in my book. Identity's premise revolves around that very premise as the horror that unfurls through the plot also unravels the underlying mystery that fuels the film. John Cusack provides a consistently excellent Cusackian performance amid a seemingly inexhaustible slew of plot twists that entertained and enthralled me the entire way through. <br />
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#24 GET OUT<br />
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Speaking of plot twists and convention breaking, Get Out isn't simply one of my favorite horror movies--it's one of the most well-executed movies of all time. Another film where the horror stems more from the circumstance and inborn traits than anything else, Get Out made my skin crawl not just as a social commentary (for which it serves as exemplar) but also as a legitimate scary movie. Jordan Peele managed to set the bar ridiculously high for himself and I can't wait to see what he follows this one up with down the road.<br />
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#23 THE VISIT<br />
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This is definitely a case of low expectations being absolutely obliterated by the end product. Like most people, I had long since given up on M. Night Shyamalan after having my interest piqued by films like The Happening and The Lady in the Water only to be let down with a resounding thud. Truth be told, the only interest I had in The Visit stemmed initially from the characters' names (my kids call their grandparents the same thing as the children in the film). I wanted to see it more as a goof than anything else and I was thusly shocked by how engrossed I became in the movie and how well executed it was.<br />
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In short, it hearkens back to the best elements that made Shyamalan popular in the first place including his emphasis on the vulnerability and humanity of his cast and some well-executed plot twists that were at once telegraphed but still surprising.<br />
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#22 SCREAM<br />
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Scream is another one of those coming-of-age moment movies that holds a special place in my heart. I remember going to see it in the theater and, more than twenty years later, I feel like it captured the zeitgeist of the mid-to-late 1990s. The premise itself isn't particularly novel nor is the cast, which capitalized upon the mega-popularity of its younger stars like Neve Campbell and Matthew Lillard as well as those slightly ahead like David Arquette and Courteney Cox.<br />
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The home invasion/stalker aspects always strike a chord with me and the mystery involved with the killer's identity was a great one with an awesome reveal. This one's just a really well-done movie by one of the giants of horror, Wes Craven.<br />
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#21 THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU<br />
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I think this one appealed to me more on visual and conceptual levels than purely upon plot and performance. I remember finding the aesthetics striking and the subject matter horrifying but intriguing. I should probably read the original H.G. Wells story at some point but I feel like it would be a different experience from the film. I know that this one is notoriously reviled not just by audiences but even by those involved with its production but I loved Val Kilmer in it and Marlon Brando was just creepy as all hell.<br />
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#20 SE7EN<br />
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Se7en goes beyond the realm of dark thrillers and ascends directly into the upper-echelon of all-time greatest films. It has its own iconic moment and quotation akin to Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, and the Sixth Sense, and features a cast of megastars that is loaded with incredible performances. I'm a fan of the so-called Seven Deadly Sins and so their inclusion as central plot elements allured me immediately; their implementation of course serves as the foundation for one of Hollywood's greatest thrill rides.<br />
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#19 I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER<br />
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This movie is the epitome of right moment in time influences. It came out right when I was hitting my stride in adolescence and so the themes and situations of the movie resonated deeply; the fact that the screenplay was written by Kevin Williamson served only to enhance my connection with it. I had no idea at the time that the Dawson's Creek dude had any involvement with the movie whatsoever but having watched it recently twenty years removed from that initial viewing, I'm dumbfounded by the fact that I didn't pick up on it (the vocabulary in the dialogue!!!).<br />
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I remember one moment in particular at the very end of the movie--an instant of pure surprise that I still laugh about when I picture it. I had gone to see the movie with my best friend James and we anxiously awaited the inevitable jump scare towards the film's conclusion. When it failed to materialize when we expected, we both went to relax only to find ourselves scared out of our seats...literally. We each jumped about a foot out of the seats and landed on the floor, probably scaring each other with our screams as much as the jump scare did on the screen.<br />
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Also late-'90s Sarah Michelle Gellar. Enough said! <br />
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#18 THE VILLAGE<br />
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A lot of people loathed this film and its out-of-left-field twist but that latter point is precisely why I loved it. This movie felt like one glorious Twilight Zone episode and the monster costumes were absolutely terrifying. I thought the performances were great (again, thinking of it as a modern Twilight Zone episode), the plot was concise, and the reveal was awesome. <br />
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#17 THE THING<br />
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I didn't see this one until recently (either late last year or early this year) and I was impressed with not just how well the horror was employed but with how incredible the practical effects were. You simply do not see things like that utilized in modern cinema and it's a shame because you can't get certain things out of CGI effects. One of the best **SPOILER ALERT** pick em off movies with sci-fi and supernatural elements. The ending too is one of the best ever given its lack of clear resolution. Another Carpenter classic. <br />
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#16 SIGNS<br />
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Full disclosure: I was TERRIFIED of aliens as a kid. From a psychoanalytical perspective, I think it stemmed from an innate fear that I have of not being in control and so the thought of these beings infiltrating my home (a supposed safe place) and then rendering me incapable of fighting back while they probed away was panic inducing. It's why I've never seen movies like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Fire in the Sky, and the Fourth Kind. It's also why I found Signs to be as terrifying as it was despite being panned by most media outlets and M. Night fans alike.<br />
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Another instance of subject matter superseding performance and even plot!<br />
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#15 FROM DUSK TILL DAWN<br />
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The vampire genre is engorged with failed attempts to capture the terror of the phantasmagorical blood suckers. From Dusk Till Dawn takes a markedly different approach in that **SPOILER ALERT** it doesn't even address the plot element until deep into the film. In fact, arguably the creepiest and most unsettling element of the entire film is Quentin Tarantino's portrayal of Richard.<br />
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Still, the movie's action and horror elements are executed perfectly and are enhanced by the aforementioned late development of the primary conflict. Plus, it features possibly the greatest monologue in movie history courtesy of Cheech Marin--a character named Chet Pussy delivering a vaginal litany at a bar called the Titty Twister.<br />
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Inane and profane all the way, baby!<br />
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#14 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD<br />
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This is one of my mother's all-time favorite movies and with good reason: it's arguably the greatest zombie movie of all time. It was revolutionary for its time having a black male lead actor and **SPOILER ALERT** his untimely demise is one of the most gut-wrenching moments in cinema history. The black and white aesthetic serves to enhance the darkness of the film and helps to build the overwhelming sense of despair that pervades.<br />
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Definitely the best of the best, genre-wise. <br />
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#13 28 DAYS LATER<br />
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Much like the realm of vampire movies, the zombie genre is rife with missed opportunities. 28 Days Later bucks certain conventions though and does so to great effect most notably in the way the infected move at breakneck speed--something that was rarely seen in films that featured the slow steady shuffling of the undead. I would shit my pants if I saw something like a Rage-infected individual barreling down upon me at breakneck speed!<br />
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For fans of The Walking Dead, 28 Days Later (and even its sequel to a lesser extent) serve as a great precursor to the awesomeness of Kirkman's universe.<br />
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#12 SAW<br />
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Profferer of one of the greatest mindfucks in movie history, Saw was a revelation when it came out. Even its first few sequels were incredible as they built upon the foundation laid by the original. A psychological thriller whose gore and visual horror was surpassed only by the visceral emotions elicited by the plot, Saw remains an all-time great. I would go so far as to say that its iconic, "OH SHIT!" moment is even more jaw-dropping than the Sixth Sense's.<br />
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#11 PARANORMAL ACTIVITY<br />
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I really enjoy movies that enable me to suspend by disbelief and to buy wholesale into the premise; few movies did so more powerfully for me than Paranormal Activity. As someone who routinely experiences things that defy explanation, I was already predisposed towards buying into the movie's raison d'etre; then, when the similarities between the film and my own life started piling up I found myself thoroughly spooked out.<br />
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The best films (and especially literature) transport their viewers/readers <i>into</i> the story--incorporating rather than inculcating to achieve the intended result. With Paranormal Activity, I felt like they weren't just telling a story but rather that they were telling <i>my</i> story--a sense that was strengthened by the whole found-film aspect. This one still gave me the creeps months later.<br />
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#10 THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT<br />
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The second of three consecutive found film horror movies, the Blair Witch Project was the first and best of the genre. When it came out (as the nascent Internet had yet to become the de facto source of news), word-of-mouth was still the primary form of spreading information. The idea that this film was found was rendered all the more believable by the incredible grassroots and guerilla marketing employed by the studio and the film's makers.<br />
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The execution of the premise was damn near perfect with instances of genuine terror responses by the cast (the tent scene, in particular) and, as an avid hiker, it's one that still freaks me out every time I'm in the woods and I find some sort of copycat creations like the little men made of sticks or incongruent man-made structures situated in the middle of the forest. Its power lies in its plausibility despite the supernatural implications and that ending...sheesh.<br />
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#09 CLOVERFIELD / 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE<br />
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Though they are two completely different films with only the most tenuous of connections between them I felt it prudent to combine them into a single entry since the things I like about one film are mirrored in the other. The first Cloverfield was a motion sickness-inducing whirlwind of a thrill ride that maximized the usage of indirect terror (so much so that, for people who hate the film, the majority seem to **SPOILER ALERT** abhor the only close up shot of the monster). Since I was eleven and first saw The Stand on TV, I've been hooked on the post-apocalyptic premise; the closer to reality the better.<br />
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Cloverfield allowed me not merely to juxtapose myself with the cast but actually to put myself in among them. Their terror became my own as I envisioned myself reacting to the same unbelievable set of circumstances that they faced. Its relatability then served as its greatest strength for me.<br />
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10 Cloverfield Lane, conversely, was an intense thriller that built up perpetually throughout the movie finally exploding (literally and figuratively) along the way. The psychological stress that the movie puts on the viewer is astounding and is phenomenally executed. It's one of the rare movies that necessitates a second viewing to allow for greater processing and comprehension of the sum total of hints, details, and loose ends that all are tied neatly together by movie's end.<br />
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#08 IT<br />
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The original television mini-series is second only to The Stand for me in terms of sheer awesomeness. As a film though the 2017 iteration of Stephen King's clown classic takes things to a whole new level. The cast and the requisite performances are all tighter--the sense of terror and dread rendered all the more horrifying in the face of pure unadulterated evil. I can't wait for this one to come out on Blu-Ray so I can watch it with my little ones! <br />
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#07 THE PROPHECY<br />
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Few movies had as profound an impact upon me as The Prophecy did. First, it was recommended by my brother who, at the time, I saw precious little of and so the film served as a tether for me--a connection point that bridged the many gaps that separated us. Second, it furthered my love affair with apocalyptic material that began with The Stand. It also made me an instant Christopher Walken fan courtesy of his performance as the angel Gabriel.<br />
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Much of my debut novel, The Lion in the Desert, was influenced on some level by the first and third Prophecy movies. They also got me thinking more deeply about religion (or specifically the relationship between a creator and its progeny) and cosmology--two of the primary themes of my Kosmogonia series. Just a great, great movie and the first to make me terrified of all-black eyes!<br />
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#06 RAVENOUS<br />
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Ravenous sums up my taste in movies and music perfectly. It exists as an improbable impossibility--an odious olio of disparate elements that amalgamate into a melody of dissonance. Ravenous is at once campy and terrifying--stultifyingly inane and riveting. Its moments of levity leave you feeling unsettled and uncertain but its horror pervades throughout. Robert Carlyle is absolutely MASTERFUL and the supporting cast is elevated by the collective performances of Guy Pearce, David Arquette, Jeffrey Neal McDonough, and especially Jeffrey Jones.<br />
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This movie is perhaps best summed up in its soundtrack--the main theme of the primary protagonist, Captain John Boyd:<br />
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLt98WxrYAw<br />
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If you've never seen this one then I cannot recommend it highly enough!<br />
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#05 DARK CITY<br />
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Kiefer Sutherland is not often praised for the diversity of his acting ability but, as the son of evil guy par excellence Donald Sutherland, it should come as no surprise that the former can nail the odd creepy performance. Dark City came out a year before The Matrix and, for me, serves as its spiritual predecessor. Its aesthetic is dark--its subject matter and themes even darker.<br />
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One part Matrix, one part Inception, and one part the Fifth Element, Dark City is a phenomenal amalgam of deep-thought and dark imaginings. Great, great movie.<br />
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#04 THE MIST<br />
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Not much to be said about this one: the ideal visual representation of the greatest novella of all time. Simply put, this is the movie I always dreamed of seeing since I first read The Mist as a kid. It manages to elevate the source material simply by altering the ending--one that will shock and awe audiences for all time (and one that Stephen King himself said he wished he had written).<br />
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#03 THE NINTH GATE<br />
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This movie features my favorite Johnny Depp performance of all time. A seemingly straightforward plot gradually obfuscates as it becomes infused with occult and supernatural elements. The mystery aspects coalesce beautifully with the dark overtones as the rare book dealer finds himself handling way more than he bargained for. I just love the way the plot unfurls; it's like a roller coaster ride where the ascent feels like it takes forever only to be supplanted by an enormous rush as gravity takes over. <br />
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#02 EVENT HORIZON<br />
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Few space horror films are as genuinely terrifying as Event Horizon. The movie makes use of all of the hallmarks of great atmospheric horror movies imbuing the plot with an ethereal sense of there's-something-more-going-on-here. It's hardly novel in its premise but rather excels in its execution with INCREDIBLE performances by both Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill (more on him in a moment).<br />
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This one stands out because of the horror of its nightmare-inducing visuals as well as the terror invoked by this idea of interdimensional possession (which is slightly Lovecraftian in its own right).<br />
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#01 IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS<br />
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The <i>best</i> John Carpenter film of all time. In The Mouth Of Madness is a massive mindfuck that generates one memorable moment after another. Sam Neill's greatest acting performance comes only a year after Jurassic Park and three before another great horror stint in Event Horizon. This movie combines the best aspects of a powerhouse trio of horror heavy hitters: John Carpenter's directing and soundtrack creation, Stephen King's exploration of small town terror and psychological horrors, and the inimitable H.P. Lovecraft's penchant for combining the ordinary with the impossible--the mundane with the monstrous.<br />
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It wasn't until my most recent viewing of this film a few months ago that I realized why I'm perhaps innately inclined to adore this movie: **SPOILER ALERT** it's essentially about a writer whose work will bring about the end of the world all while muddying the waters of reality and sanity. It combines all of the things that I love not just about horror movies but of fiction writing itself. Watching it is the most meta of experiences and it serves as a perpetual source of inspiration!The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-14245800331970250822017-10-06T12:40:00.003-04:002017-10-06T12:49:58.448-04:00The Importance of the Visual in Fiction WritingThe art of fiction writing is a deceptively elegant one. On the surface it seems straightforward enough--put words on page and tell story. To do so effectively though requires a far greater attention to detail...and knowing how and when to employ those words to maximize their efficacy.<br />
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When it comes to my own fiction writing, I find that I come from an inherently cinematic perspective. I tend to have very strong visual depictions in my mind not just of characters or events but of place and time as well; in essence--a scene not unlike those found in movies or stage plays. My innate perfectionism drives me to convey those visual images to the best of my ability--not so that I can force readers to see the exact same thing that I am envisioning but rather so that I can provide the most authentic representation of that vision; the trick then is to ensure the latter while still allowing room for an individual's interpretation of the material.<br />
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In approaching my writing from a cinematic angle I therefore try to establish an environment--to evoke a mood with my word choice. I employ details not unlike a movie director who selects prop and background elements specifically to provide additional layers of understanding and information as a supplement to the events occurring in the primary focus. The director though has an advantage over the writer in that she can make use of those visual aspects with absolutely zero wasted effort.<br />
<br />
The writer's challenge then is to make use of those same elements without drawing attention to their presence and without beating the reader about the head them. We must find the right (and potentially fewest) descriptors to convey our images--<b>always to show rather than tell</b>. We want to elicit certain emotions and to engage our readers in unconscious thought processes--to force the understanding into the background as a subconscious act. The only way to ensure this then is to describe what we are seeing without actually describing--to connote rather than to denote.<br />
<br />
Here is a pair of examples that describe the exact same scene:<span class="mh6wsc"> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="mh6wsc">FIRST </span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc">Janet stood in a cemetery over a casket
that was being lowered into a hole that had been dug into the ground by three
men using shovels. The sky was dark and rain started to fall as lightning
flashed and thunder sounded out. She felt very sad over the loss of her oldest
son who also happened to be her only child and who died in a car crash that also happened on a rainy night. She
wondered whether or not she would be able to recover from his death, which had
left her feeling depressed.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SECOND</div>
Janet felt like she was standing at the foot of the abyss—her toes touching the precipice’s edge. A steady stream of tears fell from her eyes like the rain pattering upon the small wooden box in the ground beneath her. The darkness of the sky above paled in comparison with the gaping hole festering inside of her. She winced as lightning flashed awaiting the inevitable thunderclap that would follow. It was like seeing the oncoming headlights and hearing the crash that took away the tiny life that she had made; he wasn’t just the oldest—he had been her only.<br />
<br />
She closed her eyes knowing that an eternity of sleepless nights awaited her—sensing that the most difficult days were still to come—her only company the pain and misery that tortured her from within and the three men waiting to shovel the earth back into place.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Though the latter example uses more words than the former to tell the same tale it manages to do so with fewer direct descriptions; the effect then should be a higher quality reading experience. The natural instinct is of course to tell rather than show; this stems from a fear of impotent communication--the writer's inability to cajole the reader into seeing the same thing that they are. Learning to suppress that urge and to rely upon the indirect will ultimately yield an end product that is not only more effective in its impact but likely more enjoyable to read as well.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Reducing clutter (words that are ultimately unnecessary in the telling of a tale) helps to service this end as well. All too often writers use a surfeit of descriptors thinking that they are adding to the story when really they serve only to interrupt the flow. In the previous pair of examples, the image of the "small wooden box" is just as powerful as the one evoked by saying, "dark brown wooden child-sized coffin."<br /><br />In the latter example there is too much detail that strong-arms the reader into seeing a very precise image. In the former though the reader is led on a journey--one that ends with their own realization of what is actually being conveyed. Reading the word coffin will invariably evoke a certain emotion and visual image but the term "small wooden box" is loaded with information that the reader must unpack and in so doing provides a much richer reading experience.</span></span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Flash fiction is a genre that emphasizes this maximization of information through the minimization of words used. Arguably the most famous example of this style of writing is one that is often erroneously attributed to Ernest Hemingway. It is referred to as a "six word novel" and reads as follows:</span></span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<i><span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For sale: baby shoes, never worn.</span></span></i><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not only does that sextet of words proffer a wealth of information and emotion it serves also a catalyst of imagination allowing readers essentially to write their own mental novels in response. In the context of actual novels however writers consequently have their own stories to tell and thus want to rein in the reader's reaction while still allowing room for individual interpretation. Using a red candle as a symbol for a character's lust and betrayal of body is fine but either overemphasizing or inundating the reader with superfluous descriptors will only reduce its impact. Another pair of examples:</span></span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />FIRST</span></span><br /><span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She lay on her back upon her king sized mattress and stared up at the ceiling watching the black shadows that the orange candlelight created. She was used to the shape of her lover--the man who was not her husband--occupying the space beside her but now that space was empty. She had been cheating on her husband for seven months and each night would light a single red candle before consummating her elicit affair. She had wanted to end the additional relationship for some time and finally made her mind up.</span></span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rolling over to her right, she reached up her left hand to the mahogany nightstand and picked up her golden, diamond-covered wedding band. She put it onto her left ring finger before rising from her black, Egyptian cotton sheets and walking to her left towards the window. She looked at the red candle and the round, brown table that held the white saucer that it sat upon. Since her lover hadn't come over she did not put any makeup on and so she leaned over with her naturally colored lips and blew out the candle's yellow-orange flame.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
SECOND<br /><span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She watched the solitary shadows dance across the ceiling as the flame flickered in the unseen drafts. Rolling over, she felt the coolness of the empty space beside her and smiled; her mind was made up. Reaching over to the nightstand she picked up her wedding band and slid it onto her finger before rising and crossing the room.</span></span><br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She stood before the red candle, pursed her pale bare lips, and blew out its light. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="mh6wsc"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I would argue that showing not telling is only half of the writer's golden equation; the second half would be to do more with less. Wasted words serve only to distract readers and should be avoided wherever possible. Maximize the value of and information conveyed by your words and you'll wind up with a far greater finished product for your efforts!</span></span>The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-7501362272513058542017-04-14T16:59:00.001-04:002017-04-15T18:27:46.448-04:00Temporal Transilience: On The Implications Of Eternity & The Meaning Of Life<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XniwtWl4z7A/WPDeETZ8unI/AAAAAAAABAE/jffLzkv8D6EqbsGcjK2ohUZwkO4nWxDOwCLcB/s1600/300px-The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XniwtWl4z7A/WPDeETZ8unI/AAAAAAAABAE/jffLzkv8D6EqbsGcjK2ohUZwkO4nWxDOwCLcB/s400/300px-The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/dd/The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg/300px-The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The human mind is innately incapable of processing terminally unbound concepts like infinity and eternity. We can conceptualize them and discuss them at length but to envision and embody them is nigh impossible for most. We are a species that is obsessed with extremes where, contrary to popular belief, size <i>does</i> matter. We ask constantly: what makes up the smallest things? How big are the biggest things? How far is the farthest thing? How old is the oldest thing?<br />
<br />
It is perhaps ironic that we are comforted by boundaries though it may seem that we like to push or pulverize them at every opportunity. Knowing the limits of things provides us with reassurance: we like our seasons to change every few months (for those of us in temperate climes)--we like our lowest seafloor to stay put and our highest mountaintops to remain relatively stable. It allows us to go about our everyday lives content in the knowledge that we understand the way of the world.<br />
<br />
Where we get into trouble then is when the limits are unknown or when we are unable to accept those limits (or, more importantly, a lack thereof); time in particular is perhaps the most unsettling. We are hardwired to think of time as being unidirectional--of events
occurring in singular sequence. To us, life is not unlike a novel: there
is a beginning, a middle, and an end to everything--past precedes
present with future following faithfully ahead.<br />
<br />
We
examine time and reality from a position of myopic solipsism, assuming
that, because we view and experience things one way, that such is the
true nature of things. Our examinations invariably lead us along similar directional arrows both spatially and temporally. With the advent of telescopes we began to look deeper into space and thus time and with the advent of the microscope so did we look inward.<br />
<br />
The discovery of the atom led us to think in terms of composition: what are we made of? I'm still awed by the beautiful symmetry that exists in our cosmobiological histories: the elements that dominate our lives from the carbon and hydrogen in our bodies to the gold in our wedding rings all came from stars billions of years ago--some of the biggest things in the universe that existed in a time and place almost impossibly distant from our present state. We are all made of star-stuff from aeons past...how poetic!<br />
<br />
The problem though with our tele- and microscopic explorations is that they led us constantly along the same direction to points that might not actually exist (again something that addles us incessantly). If the atom makes up matter then what makes up the atom? And thus the discovery of subatomic particles--protons, neutrons, and electrons. But, then, what makes up <i>these</i> particles? Why, quarks and leptons, of course! But what makes up...<br />
<br />
You see, no matter how small we go we will <i>always</i> ask what is smaller because, I believe, it is simply how we are programmed to think. We cannot envision something that cannot be divided further--dissected into yet smaller constituent pieces. At that point we wind up falling back upon approximations:<br />
<br />
"Well, at that point it would be so small that we couldn't measure it so it wouldn't matter anyway."<br />
<br />
Go in the opposite direction and we reach a similarly disconcerting conclusion. If the universe is finite in size then what lies <i>beyond</i> the edge of the universe? And if it is infinite then is it not still in our nature to wonder what exists <i>outside</i> of it?<br />
<br />
Once again we find ourselves trading in science for the metaphysical or philosophical. Even religion is forced to shrug its shoulders in response to such queries. If God created everything then who or what created God? (The typical answer is, "It's a mystery," which is the sacred equivalent of the secular, "It wouldn't matter anyway." Ditto for the responses to, "Where does God live?" and "What came before God?")<br />
<br />
We live within a bounded world and thus it is exceedingly difficult for us to picture anything being physically unfettered...but what about time? Marcus Aurelius said in his <i>Meditations</i> that:<br />
<br />
"Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no
sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another
takes its place, and this too will be swept away."<br />
<br />
This notion of time as a river seems to complement our typical perspective of an arrow of time dominating and directing our lives since a river begins at one point and moves steadily in one direction...and yet it works also to contradict that purview. A river, despite its motion, exists all at once. Heraclitus famously proclaimed that, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man,” and yet, while the river does change, it exists still in perpetual entirety.<br />
<br />
But just what <i>is</i> time? It is commonly defined as:<br />
<br />
<i>...the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future. Time is a component quantity of various measurements used to sequence events, to compare the duration of events or the intervals between them, and to quantify rates of change of quantities in material reality or in the conscious experience.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Time in physics is defined by its measurement: time is what a clock reads. In classical, non-relativistic physics it is a scalar quantity and, like length, mass, and charge, is usually described as a fundamental quantity. Time can be combined mathematically with other physical quantities to derive other concepts such as motion, kinetic energy and time-dependent fields.</i><br />
<br />
We know from Einstein's work that time is malleable--that two people with identical clocks traveling at significantly different speeds will experience differing durations of it but this refers essentially only to the present. The real issue stems from the past and the future--those uncertainties that stultify us (the past with its esoteric origin and the future with its questionable inevitability). We are used to experiencing things and analyzing them in terms of three time states: past (before), present (now), and future (ahead) but, as I stated earlier, merely because we encounter reality with such boundaries does not mean that time cannot or does not exist in an all-at-once state; perhaps we have evolved to be so constrained in our thinking or have yet to evolve to a higher order level of cogitation.<br />
<br />
I should note that what prompted my thinking on all of this was a movie I saw recently that probed the idea of a timescape as opposed to an arrow of time.<br />
<br />
(<b>*SPOILERS* AHEAD FOR THE MOVIE ARRIVAL</b>) <br />
<br />
In an excellent analysis of the film on NPR, Marcelo Gleiser refers to the brain's "neurological plasticity" when it comes to learning new languages enabling it to adjust for its differences to other already known languages. He references too the iconographic language of the Heptapods--beings who view time in its entirety and thus speak in a way that is devoid of time values. They are able to move freely through time and space because of this perspective and, consequently, there is a profound impact upon the protagonist when she eventually learns to become untethered in time. (<i>The article can be found in its entirety </i><a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/11/23/503109667/the-arrival-of-the-hectapods-time-holds-the-key-to-everything">here.)</a> <br />
<br />
I could not fall asleep after watching the movie because my brain was afire with analytical excitement. Two recurring queries dominated my thoughts though and it is this pair that I wanted to explore here in this essay. The first and perhaps most pressing is: why don't we see all states of time simultaneously or, more importantly, why <i>can't</i> we? If there is neurological plasticity with regards to language then why not time?<br />
<br />
It might seem like an insignificant differentiation between don't and can't but I believe that it is utterly material not just to our discussion here but to our very existences. I understand that the notion of time existing all at once seems incongruent with commonsense and indeed our everyday experience but many giants in physics not only support but adhere to that very belief. Richard Feynman touched upon it in his sum over histories theorem but Einstein took it a step further. In 1955 the latter wrote a letter of condolence to the family of a friend who had recently passed saying:<br />
<br />
"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That
signifies nothing. For those of us who believe in physics, the
distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly
persistent illusion."<br />
<br />
We are used to our arrow of time and we allow it to shape not only our thought-processes but the very actions of our lives. We have our earliest memories from childhood or perhaps infancy that represent one terminal boundary and then we have our inevitable demises that, presumably, create the second terminus thus closing the loops of our lives. We can read about the distant past much as we can surmise about the far future but in terms of actual <i>memory</i>--that which is utterly internalized and drawn upon with a much different sense of realism and emotional energy--we are privy to only that which we have already experienced and are experiencing now.<br />
<br />
Having access to <i>all</i> of our life at one time (as explored in Arrival) would have an intensely immense impact upon our present (ha!) states of mind as well as our future actions; it would defenestrate our long adhered-to beliefs and tenuous knowledge about the natural order of life. In the movie (<b>again, SPOILERS!</b>), the protagonist knows that her daughter will eventually die prematurely of a disease and that her foreknowledge of this presumed inevitability leads to the disintegration of her marriage (with the assumption being that she knows of the future circumstance but will take no action to affect the outcome). She remembers what it is like to hold and to be held by her beloved as she meets him for the first time.<br />
<br />
She manages somehow to live her life in spite of this knowledge but how would we, then, approach such daunting information in our own lives? How could we possibly engage in relationships that we know are doomed from the start? How could we develop attachments to things that we know are going to break?<br />
<br />
Say you had a favorite teddy bear. You know that nothing lasts forever
except love but even this fades over time. Let's say you could see the
future--the exact moment the bear falls apart. Would you hug it less or
sleep with it less frequently if it would extend its life by a year? A few months? Even a day? Wouldn't you get to the point that you never interact with it just
so that it can go on existing...and yet now you run the risk of losing
the meaning that it had to you in the first place?<br />
<br />
The first issue with what I like to think of as temporal transilience is whether or not knowledge of future events can impact the present and thus lead to changes in said future. If we see the pain of a future loss is so acute that it destroys us would we then at the moment of genesis of that relationship or interaction choose <i>not</i> to embark upon that journey in the first place? Of course few things would be <i>solely</i> saddening and thus one sequence of poignant pain couldn't possibly negate the perhaps lifetime of happiness that would precede it.<br />
<br />
Would we exist then as representatives of Feynman's sum over histories? Instead of particle wave paths canceling each other out resulting in a few states of higher probability would it be our emotions that experience time as such? Would we feel in the present the net sum of emotions resulting from past and future in concert?<br />
<br />
And, again, what if we could choose to alter things? Being somehow conscripted to the events of our lives would make it easier to accept the bad things but think about the implications: knowing every single thing that will happen to you at one point means in essence that there is no such thing as free will--that fate and destiny dominate your narrative. These are concepts that I explore deeply in my second novel of my Kosmogonia series, which, in turn, is inspired by the very nature of its name (<i>Kosmogonia is a bastardization of the Greek word for cosmogony or the study of the origin of the universe</i>) and that I still grapple with today.<br />
<br />
Our discussion thus far has been merely superficial though--hardly scraping the surface of the topic. We have probed temporal omniscience as it pertains to one life bound by birth and death but what if those limits were altered? What if, at each point of decision in our lives, new universes or dimensions were created based upon the options that we chose?<br />
<br />
Though it might sound like far-fetched science fiction it is actually based upon a well-known interpretation of quantum mechanics called the Many-worlds interpretation. It is described as:<br />
<br />
...an interpretation of quantum mechanics that asserts the objective reality of the universal wavefunction and denies the actuality of wavefunction collapse. Many-worlds implies that all possible alternate histories and futures are real, each representing an actual "world" (or "universe"). In layman's terms, the hypothesis states there is a very large—perhaps infinite—number of universes, and everything that could possibly have happened in our past, but did not, has occurred in the past of some other universe or universes.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qiDaMWU4ZQM/WPD7olz8AqI/AAAAAAAABAM/IP5OaXzMheMZtOiBm7tqmKA23qMGq9ZIgCLcB/s1600/350px-Schroedingers_cat_film.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qiDaMWU4ZQM/WPD7olz8AqI/AAAAAAAABAM/IP5OaXzMheMZtOiBm7tqmKA23qMGq9ZIgCLcB/s320/350px-Schroedingers_cat_film.svg.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The quantum-mechanical "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat" title="Schrödinger's cat">Schrödinger's cat</a>"
theorem according to the many-worlds interpretation. In this
interpretation, every event is a branch point; the cat is both alive and
dead, even before the box is opened, but the "alive" and "dead" cats
are in different branches of the universe, both of which are equally
real, but which do not interact with each other.<sup> (From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Many-worlds_interpretation)</sup></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The concept of a multiverse caters to this interpretation and perhaps makes better sense than a universe in isolation: every possible outcome has a universe or place of existence. To put it into perspective, imagine that in this universe you went to work wearing a navy blue skirt and white blouse. In another universe you opted for a floral print top and a rose-colored blazer. Then imagine that, for each of those, you stopped at Starbucks and ordered a different drink. In some of those instances it was raining and in others still there was sunshine. You left your house or apartment at 6:58 a.m. or 6:56 a.m. and drove yourself or partook in a carpool. Now imagine all of these possible scenarios where one tiny grain of sand was moved a millimeter to the left by the wind and another to the right...<br />
<br />
When you begin to consider <i>all</i> of the possible outcomes and the variables therein then you begin to get a sense for how large and all-encompassing infinity is! With regards to the aforementioned access to all-time, what would the impact be of having access to the timescapes of <i>all</i> of those different realms of existence? Would we lose our sense of self and our penchant for persisting in the present? Would we become lost in the time-stream--choked by the waters of the past and future, drowning in the overwhelming flow of time itself? How could we possibly exist with exposure to <i>that</i> much information about ourselves?<br />
<br />
Again, the Feynman approach might somehow factor in where conflicting realities would annihilate each other and we would be left with access to fewer outcomes but still, such omniscience seems to me a burden of unimaginable weight! And all of this is restricted to our <i>own</i> personal places in the multiverse! What if we had the ability to see literally <u><b><i>ALL</i></b></u> time? Not necessarily the memories of others, per se, but that which existed before and will exist after our own time on this plane?<br />
<br />
Even <i>this</i> can be further divided between eternal and finite existences. If the universe had a beginning and has an end then what would we do with that information? The ability to see not just our own ends but the end of <i>everything</i>? I would imagine that it would be terrifyingly beautiful but also innately debilitating (for reasons I will explain in a moment).<br />
<br />
And what if there really <i>is</i> no end and was no beginning? Would it be possible then to become trapped in our own examination of past and future--traveling forever through perpetuity thereby a) losing the ability to live in the present and b) depriving us of our physical experiences? We would be like YouTube videos buffering forever as we awaited a return to our regularly scheduled programming!<br />
<br />
At that point, past and future would lose meaning because they would be indelibly linked; there would no longer be beginning and end--only a single state of being. Time would essentially loop in upon itself, which, interestingly enough, is the way that the universe's shape is often described. Many believe that there is no end or beginning to the universe and that one who embarks in a particular direction will eventually return to the spot from which one left or that there is merely the appearance of an end like the map in a sandbox type game like GTA IV.<br />
<br />
Temperature too appears to be malleable in a quantifiable sense based upon the discovery of negative temperatures--the idea of the temperature scale looping back upon itself.<br />
<br />
(<i>By definition</i>, Absolute Zero <i>is
the coldest theoretical temperature--the point at which all motion
ceases--and yet temperatures have been discovered and created </i>below<i> Absolute Zero. At these so-called </i><b>negative temperatures</b> <i>behavior changes from that of extremely cold particles to extremely </i>hot<i>
ones thereby implying a closed loop of temperature--go too far in one
direction and you find yourself approaching from the other end.</i> For more information scope out this awesome article: <a href="http://physicscentral.com/explore/action/negative-temperature.cfm">about negative temperatures.</a>)<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7qVxxDfhb9s/WPEpn9fg7DI/AAAAAAAABAc/qasnhI5hDS8KyhhGLCTsZlS4t45mzih0wCEw/s1600/Electron%2Bmicrograph%2Bof%2Bvirus%2Bmolecules%2B%2528moon%2Bsettlement%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7qVxxDfhb9s/WPEpn9fg7DI/AAAAAAAABAc/qasnhI5hDS8KyhhGLCTsZlS4t45mzih0wCEw/s320/Electron%2Bmicrograph%2Bof%2Bvirus%2Bmolecules%2B%2528moon%2Bsettlement%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://www.feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/img/FLP_I/f05-09/f05-09_small.jpg<br />
<br />
This
is a photo of virus molecules but, to me, it sort of looks like a lunar
settlement: the macroscopic mirrored in the microscopic...the loop of
existence demonstrating itself once more.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Wading into the murky metaphysical waters of the afterlife, what about time <i>after</i> death? Would we be privy to the arcane wisdom of the great beyond whilst still we lived? The ontological implications of this epistemological miracle would be profound! They would shake the very core of our philosophical and scientific beliefs (saying nothing of the various religions this would shatter) effectively redefining life and what it means to live--to <i>be</i>.<br />
<br />
And what then of an endless array of afterlives? The idea of a paradisiacal post-life was created in part to comfort those who feared death but also to ensure obedience from those who existed on the present plane of existence. By fostering desirable behavior from the flock, the political heads ensured both obeisance and order through the promise of an idyllic post-existence rife with halcyon days spent amid empyrean environs; life was bisected into two distinct eras: now and then.<br />
<br />
Of course, the notion of reincarnation most closely approximates the idea of an infinite existence but even that is curtailed by the confines of our lovely blue orb: each return trip would be inherently earthbound. There would be no need for other times or realms of existence because everything would take place here ad infinitum. In those instances, would we keep our memories of our past selves (assuming a lack of access to the proposed all-timescape)? If so, would we continue to accrue lifetimes as we aged?<br />
<br />
The nature of the self then is tested; who are we if not ourselves, after all? Reincarnation implies that the self remains but the vessel changes. Our consciousnesses then defines <i>us</i>: we are comprised of our mind and memories--our emotions and experiences. The emphasis of course is on the word <i>our</i>; to have someone else's memories would be an exigent existential enigma!<br />
<br />
Access to all-time would, I believe, damage our innate senses of self. We define ourselves based upon boundaries that we take for granted or aren't even aware of. It is the amalgam of experiences, decisions, feelings, and remembrances that make us who we are, bookended by birth and death--awakening and eternal sleep. Without these delineations we cease to appreciate our respective individualities.<br />
<br />
A step even deeper into the rabbit hole leads us back to where we began: if there was a beginning of the universe and thus time and we had access to knowledge of such a point then what came <i>before</i> that? This, in my opinion, is the fundamental question that baffles most people and which sends them scrambling to God or the physics textbooks for answers. It is arguably the single most difficult thing to conceptualize: what came before time itself?<br />
<br />
To ask such a question, to quote the great Corey Taylor, is a pseudo-sacrosanct perversion of the fabric of <i>everything</i>; time is the most hallowed aspect of our existence because, by its very nature, it establishes the parameters of our lives. By relinquishing our grip upon the need for such <i>clearly defined</i> parameters then do we begin to appreciate our own places amid the infinite.<br />
<br />
The faithful find their answers in God. The universe itself was created and there was nothing before that--just an endless void. God the creator then becomes a cabalistic entity--the recondite source of all whose existence cannot be questioned and thus answers everything.<br />
<br />
The scientific find their answers in inquiry. Though their godless examination is viewed as sacrilegious or even heretical by some they choose to use logic and reason to reach a qualitatively definable conclusion. The inimitable Stephen Hawking said of both time and God:<br />
<br />
"Since events before the Big Bang have no observational consequences, one
may as well cut them out of the theory, and say that time began at the
Big Bang. Events before the Big Bang, are simply not defined, because
there's no way one could measure what happened at them. This kind of
beginning to the universe, and of time itself, is very different to the
beginnings that had been considered earlier. These had to be imposed on
the universe by some external agency. There is no dynamical reason why
the motion of bodies in the solar system can not be extrapolated back in
time, far beyond four thousand and four BC, the date for the creation
of the universe, according to the book of Genesis. Thus it would require
the direct intervention of God, if the universe began at that date. By
contrast, the Big Bang is a beginning that is required by the dynamical
laws that govern the universe. It is therefore intrinsic to the
universe, and is not imposed on it from outside."<br />
<br />
(Excerpted from http://www.hawking.org.uk/the-beginning-of-time.html)<br />
<br />
The answer from a scientific perspective is simply that there <i>is</i> no before; within the singularity that preceded the Big Bang (and thus time), the laws of physics broke down and thus time was impossible. Existence had yet to be and instead there was only a timeless point of potential--infinite energy and an eternity of time compressed to an impossible degree. What has ensued--now bounded by the laws of physics/quantum physics--has set the limits on not simply what is knowable but what is <i>relevant</i>.<br />
<br />
We live in what is termed the observable universe. It is dubbed as
such
because it is as far out in space (and thus back in time) that we can
possibly see: given the age and size of the universe, it is as far as
the farthest photons could have traveled in the time that the universe
has existed. We need light to see and so if the light is so far away
that with even an infinity of infinities of lifetimes it could never
reach us then whatever lies beyond that point has no meaning to us
because we simply could never observe it. It is impossible to reach the
edge of the universe and so whatever lies beyond it (whether something
or nothing) is meaningless; it is impossible to measure time before it began and thus a time before time is also inconsequential.<br />
<br />
I find that answer to be both confounding but utterly fulfilling: there is no place beyond space and there was no when before time.<br />
<br />
Still, I can't help but wonder whether or not time exists all at once and whether our perspective of the temporal arrow is in consequence of or opposition to that reality. Like the heptapods in Arrival, were we to maximize our cognitive capabilities would our increased faculties enable us to see the true nature of things and to process it in ways that we are presently incapable of doing? Or have we evolved in such a way as to protect ourselves <i>from</i> time--to create boundaries that enable us to exist as ourselves (just as we have evolved to ignore background noise so as not to have our senses perpetually engaged)?<br />
<br />
It leads me perpetually to one overarching question: would omniscience and omnipresence render our lives devoid of meaning?<br />
<br />
We spoke earlier of the possibility of our free will affecting fate. What if through our free will we were capable of altering things in
the present thereby changing our potential futures? Would we become
obsessed with this tinkering--struggling to find the "right" combination
to result in a perfect life? Wouldn't we lose much through the elimination of negative experiences since there is so much to be learned from them?<br />
<br />
What if the decisions we make are irrevocable? What if we could STILL see
the future but maintain knowledge of the past and thus our other
possible futures? What if we give up the dream relationship in one for
the dream job in another and lose twenty years due to illness or
accident?<br />
<br />
Is it like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? You have a certain
amount but you can gamble getting more; when you lose you're saddled
with the knowledge that you could've simply walked away with what you
had and been happy...but then again, what if the what ifs would have
torn you to pieces and you wound up obsessing about what could have been
rather than what was and what is?<br />
<br />
If you could see the entirety of your life at a given moment then the
joys would constantly be balanced by the sorrows. Would you still watch
the big game knowing your team is going to lose? Would you still be as
invested in that job or relationship knowing that it's ultimately doomed
to fail? Being able to see all points in time and all places neuters
those experiences of value--it robs you of your ability to experience them in
their proper <span class="il">temporal</span> position and it makes your
present a living hell; it would make every living moment a nightmare
fraught with worry about the future, which, by definition, would already
be in the past for you in your present--something to look back upon before it even happens.<br />
<br />
The problem with omnipresence and omniscience is that it strips the
importance away from life events; <b>their value lies in their mystery--in
our not knowing the outcome.</b> In any given circumstance--whether it's a
sporting event, a relationship, or simply a walk in the park--it's our
blindness to the end result that renders the experiences both enjoyable
and worthwhile. We need the boundaries of temporal spacing--past, present, and future--but also simultaneously boundaries with regards to knowledge of our lives.<br />
<br />
Being omniscient would afford us the knowledge of all-things but would at the same time render them worthless; it is the openendedness of each moment and experience that imbues them with meaning--the fact that they have potential and that we must make our decisions based upon the unknown that shapes not only who we are but the lives that we live.<br />
<br />
The solution then is to take each day as it comes, to plan for the
future, to reflect upon the past, and to derive our personal meanings in the present from
the memories we've made and the moments we've yet to
encounter.<br />
<br />
<i>Not</i> knowing is ultimately what gives our lives meaning.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-8422801586533311082016-12-07T13:42:00.000-05:002016-12-07T19:53:16.156-05:00The Subjugation of Subjectivity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QP-rPU7k10Y/WEgkrdX217I/AAAAAAAAA64/k_Iy6P2bQf0rgzj2IxcmKGKIT_NBZmUygCLcB/s1600/The-critic-it-stinks.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QP-rPU7k10Y/WEgkrdX217I/AAAAAAAAA64/k_Iy6P2bQf0rgzj2IxcmKGKIT_NBZmUygCLcB/s320/The-critic-it-stinks.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Somewhere in the past ten years or so there has been a seismic shift in people's ability to handle subjectivity. Opinions, while proffered at unprecedented rates, transmogrified from simple observations and standpoints into full-fledged mission statements and personal philosophies; modern Americans have so much of their self-esteem tied up in their viewpoints that they no longer view them as malleable manifestos but rather as rigid truisms--ones that they must convince others are not simply the <i>right</i> ones but in some cases the <i>only</i> ones. Whether it's about something as intimate as one's personal politics and religion or as inane as musical or television preferences, people have inexorably entangled their self-worth in their opinions...and it's driving me crazy.<br />
<br />
I'm a voracious consumer of music--it's easily the most important passion I have and is something that I partake in daily whether by listening, writing, or playing it on guitar and piano. My love of music has its genesis in my early childhood but it didn't fully take root until the mid to late '90s when I began to explore it more deeply. Growing up, my mother always had the radio on and there was no shortage of records and cassette tapes arranged next to the stereo. In the mid-'90s my parents got me my first CD player and, having nothing to listen to on it, my father took me to the Wiz on Avenue U to pick up a few albums. Among them were Billy Joel's "The River of Dreams," Seal's self-titled 1994 release, and the Batman Forever soundtrack. I remember loving the first album, being indifferent about the second, and having a mixed reaction to the third.<br />
<br />
From 1997 through 2001 (incidentally the breadth of my time in high school), I began to refine my taste in music and drastically expanded my collection from radio classics to then-current alternative rock, nu-metal, and rap. Some of my favorite albums still today came out during that time and I remember discussing them extensively with my friends--both musically inclined and casual listeners in their own rights. We had our favorite bands with preferred albums and tracks among them; what we <i>didn't</i> have was the petty, puerile arguments that dominate discourse in 2016--not just about music but about <u><i>everything</i></u>.<br />
<br />
I was so stoked when Korn released their new album in October and then again when Metallica's first release in eight years dropped last month. For as excited as I was about hearing the music though I was equally and oppositely dreading the inevitable explosion of ersatz experts on my favorite guitar site and on Facebook proffering their insipid musings about both. The torrential shitstorm of commentary that ensued though far exceeded the conjecture I was anticipating.<br />
<br />
See, the problem is that it's s no longer enough simply to have an opinion on something. It used to be that people could engage in discussion about things without it turning into an argument with egos on the line. Sure there was always the odd argumentative type who would turn anything into a debate but nowadays it feels like <i>everyone</i> does that. Facebook, Twitter, and the like <u><b>abound</b></u> with faux perspicacious peripatetics spewing their uninformed diatribes, obscenely overcomplicating things that should be<i> way</i> simpler and that exist almost solely for our <u>entertainment and enjoyment</u>.<br />
<br />
Take the Metallica release for example. At its most basic level, here's what happened: a band released an album comprised of a dozen songs. Here's what <i>should</i> have ensued: people made a decision to buy or refrain from buying the album based upon their feelings about the band; the ones who did make the purchase then decided whether they liked the album or not.<br />
<br />
That's it! No rocket science involved--no smarmy, pathological pedantry. <i>IS</i> that what happened? Not hardly!<br />
<br />
Aside from the requisite trolls who came to comment about how much they can't stand Metallica or how awful the band is (something that I still can't comprehend--do these people go into restaurants or stores that sell food and products that they dislike or have no use for just to pass judgement upon those places despite having exactly zero use for or interest in their offerings?), you had actual FANS of the band parsing through the album--dissecting it to the point of idiocy. I saw comments about the following:<br />
<br />
Metallica trying too hard to sound like "the old" Metallica.<br />
<br />
Metallica needing to sound more like "the old" Metallica.<br />
<br />
The album sounding too much like the last album (Death Magnetic).<br />
<br />
How washed up the band is/how terrible the band's live performances are.<br />
<br />
The songs are too long.<br />
<br />
How terrible Lars is.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying there isn't any sort of veridical value in these statements nor am I trying to say that they aren't valid viewpoints; my gripe instead is that these are even issues at all for people in the first place. Look--I get wanting a band to sound like they <i>used</i> to. There's a lot of emotion and memory tied up in that era of personal discovery when it comes to bands but people often fail to consider the human and creative aspects of making music; writing fast, heavy, angry songs as a teenager works when you're that age but it might not necessarily still apply when you're middle-aged. Metallica, in particular, consists of some pretty old dudes and Lars in particular is fifty two years old! After playing this style of music literally for decades I'd be shocked if he <i>didn't</i> lose a step physically in terms of his playing; ditto for James and Kirk as well.<br />
<br />
My problem with the Metallica album along with everything else is people's seemingly innate need to deride shit--to manufacture this sham sense of superiority in an effort to elevate themselves. It's become:<br />
<br />
"Oh? You like the new album? Yeah, it's okay I guess. I mean it's not as good as Master or Kill Em All. Actually, I could barely sit through most of the songs. I'm done with Metallica. They're garbage."<br />
<br />
The same thing happens with television shows. People no longer get behind a show <u><i>and stay there</i></u>. Instead, they live and die with every episode: one night it's the greatest show on television and the next it's full-on, "I'm DONE with this show." The Walking Dead is one of the biggest victims of this type of behavior and it stems mostly from a separate issue of folks demanding instant gratification and having non-existent attention spans. Two of the most incredible episodes of the series had comparatively little gore and violence and, perhaps unsurprisingly, they are among the show's lowest rated. They weren't artsy, highbrow pieces nor were they dialogue-heavy slogs; instead, they took what makes The Walking Dead great <i>aside</i> from the gore, violence, and special effects--the atmosphere, the inner/emotional turmoil (both for the characters themselves and the viewers), and the ability to evoke a very real sense of terror and dread--and they maximized them to great effect.<br />
<br />
<br />
Think about it: would a show like LOST have a snowball's chance in hell of making it through six full seasons if it started airing today? I doubt it! In 2004, millions of people watched the first few episodes and had the same simultaneous response: "What the hell is going on!?" Back then (it feels like 112 years ago instead of the decade and change that it actually was), that was enough to get people interested in the show and to maintain that interest for years on end. They didn't decide from episode to episode whether this was the greatest show on television or the worst: they recognized that the writers were telling a story and they wanted to see where that journey would take them.<br />
<br />
Perhaps unsurprisingly, towards the end of the show's run, people began to grow disenfranchised with the aforementioned story. It took too many twists and demanded too much from them to keep their fandom and hold their interest; the genesis of the modern mindset was already beginning to be seen. Lost was judged suddenly on a per-episode basis with more and more people jumping ship--citing "this season (5 or 6 in particular) sucked--it was <i>wAaAaaAy</i> better in season 1 or 2."<br />
<br />
People are <u>clearly</u> entitled to their opinions but my problem is two-fold: if you're going to pass judgement on something then at least have a reason for that critique OR, if you can't qualify that stance, at least don't try to act like you're basing it upon some unspeakable enlightenment that the rest of us mere mortals are incapable of processing or at the very least aren't privy to. I don't understand why things (bands, albums, songs, television shows, movies) can no longer be viewed in isolation--assessed based solely upon their individual merits. At their core, why can't the Metallica songs be good or bad--ones that you like or don't like? Why do television shows and movies have to be judged <u>on the whole</u> based upon isolated instances of mediocrity?<br />
<br />
Again, my problem isn't the negative opinions that people have about things--it's how shallow and uninformed those statements ultimately wind up being. If you ask someone who says, "Eh. Metallica's sucked since The Black Album" WHY Metallica has sucked since The Black Album then you'd like to think there would be a well-thought out reason; more often than not though all you get is fluff, rhetoric, or circular reasoning. If you're going to start a debate about something or take a differing stance then you should at least be able to articulate <i><u>YOUR OWN STANCE</u></i> <b>ESPECIALLY</b> if you're shitting all over someone else's!<br />
<br />
My plea though is just for folks to take a step back (or one down off of their soapboxes) and just enjoy shit for whatever it is. Either you like it or you don't so why not just leave it at that? Just because there are schisms of opinions doesn't mean <i>either</i> side is wrong or somehow less valid or worthy than the other. It's okay to take a dissenting stance and not feel the need to put down the other side simply to make yourself feel worthy or righteous. I just can't wrap my head around the schizophrenic way in which people approach their recreational activities! How enervating must it be to listen to a twelve song album and, with each track go, "LOVE IT. BEST BAND EVER. UGH. HATE IT. SO OVER THESE GUYS. THEY'RE THE WORST. OMG LOVE THIS ONE. THESE GUYS STILL HAVE IT! THIS IS TOTAL GARBAGE."?<br />
<br />
I miss the days when opinions were just that: responses to a yes or no type of question. Did you like the movie? Yeah--thought it was great/Nah, it wasn't my cup of tea. What do you think of the new album? It's awesome/It's terrible. Don't get me wrong--I'm all for having a meaningful discussion about something but the problem is that most people no longer engage in actual discourse. It's become: I think this, I'm right, I don't care what you think because you're wrong. People don't take the time to <i>listen</i> to other people's viewpoints and, if they do, they rarely resist the urge to convince them why their opinion is the wrong one!<br />
<br />
I'm just amazed by the capriciousness that defines people's perspectives and how alarmingly incapable they are of backing up whatever claims they make. "This was the worst _____ ever...because." Is it really that hard to go that extra step and to explain why you feel that way? There'd be so much less bickering and unnecessary arguing if only that seemingly trivial act were to occur with greater frequency.<br />
<br />
Then again, what do I know?<br />
<br />
Everyone's a critic.<br />
<br />The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-86462772993339810992016-10-13T15:07:00.001-04:002016-10-13T19:48:04.393-04:00The Power of SilenceSilence, in all its forms, can be one of the most destructive forces
in existence. It is a perplexing dichotomy--a perfect marriage of two
opposing effects elicited from the same catalytic source. Silence can
heal and silence can kill: it can condemn and absolve. It can provide
for moments of contemplative introspection or it can feel like the
weight of the world.<br />
<br />
I have been reflecting upon the
power of silence lately because I have encountered it in numerous forms.
There are people I was once close with with whom I will likely never
speak again. This type of long-term silence is at once enervating and
invigorating. I have been the victim of the so-called silent treatment
before and know all too well the pain that being shunned brings with it
but, unexpectedly, the same circumstance with different people can bring
about an entirely different response. By shedding these negative
influences from my life I feel <i>free</i>--as if I have been liberated
by the shackles of the past. This seemingly simple silence has washed
away the poison that festered in my heart allowing me to look forward to
the future; it has rendered me cancer-free in a mental and emotional
sense.<br />
<br />
Silence certainly has its healing properties. I
love my kids more than anything but there is certainly a yearning for a
few moments of solitude by the end of the day. There is a peacefulness
that accompanies the bedtime rituals--calm and quiet to help whisk them
away to the land of dreams. Then, in the tranquil time that ensues, the
silence that fills the house is restorative and
rejuvenating--replenishing my patience and energy for the next day.<br />
<br />
Silence
is integral to music as well oftentimes offering as much in the way of
musical meaning as rhythm and melody; rests can fill sonic space in a
way that no number of notes or chords ever could. It provides a sense of
anticipation and can be the source of the heaviest moment in a heavy
song or the darkest, most ominous one in a dark tune. Two of my favorite
examples come from songs from the late '90s/early '00s. If you listen
from 2:25 to 2:52 on Incubus' Pardon Me, you'll see that the dip in
volume and that brief silence before the final chorus renders the
closing section all the more powerful.<br />
<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhZvDJ2opsM<br />
<br />
The
frenetic, upbeat tempo of the Foo Fighters' tune Monkey Wrench has a
similar moment of anticipation built in to the end of the intro:<br />
<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKp5v588-Vs<br />
<br />
Still,
there is a dark side to silence--one that, in many ways, overshadows
its positive aspects. Social silence can be demeaning whether it occurs
in person or digitally. I know this type of silence doesn't bother some
people but it absolutely <u>infuriates</u> me because of the implied
denigration. Picture yourself sitting at a table with friends. The group
is carrying on a conversation with each member participating in turn
though in no particular order. You offer up an observation or a quip...a
moment of silence ensues...and the conversation carries on as if you
never spoke. How does that make you feel? For me, that act of dismissal
is one of the most derogatory things that can happen in a social
setting. I'd be less offended by someone telling me off to my face with a
string of colorful expletives than I would someone completely ignoring
something that I said.<br />
<br />
Silence often reminds us of loss
and conflict. Parents fighting and yelling undeniably has a negative
impact on children but how much worse is it to live amid the tension
that comes with icy silence between one's parents? Silence is what often
fills the room as one awaits test results in a doctor's office...and
what comes from the other end of the phone line when bad news is
delivered.<br />
<br />
Victims of abuse are often shamed into silence; when many <i>do</i> find the courage to speak up, they are either met with silence or told to keep quiet (at least at many, <i>many</i>
institutions of higher education where the cash cow sports teams matter
more than victims' rights). Lying by omission is by its very definition
the act of remaining silent to suppress the truth--ethical elision at
its finest. When people fail to speak up in defense of another or when
they fail to correct an egregious error their silence can have a
far-reaching impact.<br />
<br />
The most poignant
destructive distinction of silence though comes with the assumptions
that we seem compelled to draw when we encounter it socially. How many
quiet girls who abstain from friendly communication get dubbed bitchy or
priggish--snobs who think they're too good to talk to others simply by
the act of keeping quiet? I met a few including my wife in college who
were unjustly and improperly judged and who suffered as a result of
these specious suppositions levied upon them; they were wallflowers
assumed to be elitist divas.<br />
<br />
Young children, too, are
forced to bear the burden of their verbal reticence. How many kids
respond with silence to well-meaning adults who try to engage them in
conversation and are then questioned as to their mental faculties? They
can't merely be shy or simply not in the mood to speak with a
stranger--no no, instead, there "must be something wrong with them."<br />
<br />
This
assessment of cognitive capabilities is the one that I find most
troubling and the one that has occupied my mind the most of late. For
many native-born Americans there is this bizarre connection that is
drawn between silence and intellectual function. How many folks see an
immigrant who doesn't speak English--regardless of race, mind you--and
automatically assume that, because of their silence in responding to
questions, that they are intellectually inferior or even mentally
retarded? How many of these supposed imbeciles, in turn, were
professionals of distinction in their home countries? Doctors, lawyers,
engineers? How many mocking epithets were hurled at these people <i>especially</i> as children by their classmates? <br />
<br />
I
spent almost a half an hour on Tuesday night speaking with the father
of one of my son's flag football teammates. He speaks English fluently
but has enough of an accent that I suspected that he emigrated from
elsewhere; what I <i>couldn't</i> have predicted was the magnitude of
his actual life story. Having already served in a war as a native son of
Montenegro, he decided to exile himself from his homeland when he was
recruited to engage in the Yugoslavian conflict of the early 1990s. He
engaged in a harrowing journey that took him first to Germany, then to
Mexico, and, ultimately, across the border and into the United States
where he had family awaiting him.<br />
<br />
He came to New York
City without speaking or understanding a word of English. He lived first
in Brooklyn and then in Staten Island, working <i>and</i> going to
school to provide for himself and his family, spending his spare moments
engaged in labor as opposed to the sports and games that his neighbors
enjoyed. He taught himself English, worked his way through his
adolescence, and ultimately came to be in charge of a significant
construction company. He now provides for several children of his own
giving them all of the things that he never had and shielding them from
the atrocities that he endured all for the sake of their own peaceful
existences. He does so in silence, never burdening them with the pain
that marred his early life.<br />
<br />
I thought of him earlier
today when I was at the doctor's office with my son. I watched a white
woman explaining to a Hispanic man the paperwork and procedures that he
needed to fill out before his son could be seen. It was obvious that he
didn't speak English and didn't understand most of what she
said--particularly in the way he and his wife proceeded to pore over the
paperwork like a test given in a foreign language (which, in a way, is
precisely what it was). Meanwhile, she's holding their baby and trying
to comfort their older son who is in a cast and still with a hospital
bracelet around his wrist, wincing every few seconds as tears of pain
sprang to his eyes.<br />
<br />
I thought of my own recent ordeal
with my son--the time spent at the hospitals and the slew of assorted
doctor's visits that we've endured. I thought of how draining it has
been for us and then I thought of that man and <i>his</i> family. Can you imagine how much <i>worse</i>
it must be to go through those things--emergency room visits, ambulance
rides--doctors and nurses trying to explain things to you while your
child is suffering in pain...and not understanding most of what they are
saying? Responding, more often than not, with silence?<br />
<br />
Don't
get me wrong--I am a firm believer that anyone who wants to live here
should, at some point, learn English. I understand how incredibly
difficult it is for older folks who make their way here but at the same
time I also believe that it is the single most important thing that an
immigrant can do. If I decided to move to France, Spain, or the Middle
East then I would be damn sure to work as hard as I could to learn to
speak the respective languages. Often the burden is laid upon the
children of immigrants to be the translators and go-betweens and I'm
sure that in at least some of those instances it's not for a lack of
trying on the parts of the parents.<br />
<br />
With that said, there's clearly a learning curve involved--one that has <i>nothing</i>
to do with intellectual faculties. I think of Gonzalo Le Batard--one of
my favorite sports entertainment personalities. He fled Cuba and was
able to build a life for his wife and two sons in Florida while so many
of his relatives remained trapped in Castro's time capsule. One glance
at the Tweets and Facebook comments written about him tells you
everything you need to know about the perception towards non-native
English speakers in this country. Mr. Le Batard is fluent in English but
clearly picked it up as a second language. How many people listen to
him speak and think that he is unintelligent or mentally defective? How
many people know that he was an engineer in Cuba? That he came here and
earned an <i>American</i> engineering degree in his second language?<br />
<br />
Think
about that for a second. This man, who is routinely derided and called
stupid (or worse) did something that many native-born Americans can't
do...in his <i>weaker</i> language? If you have a four year or
specialized degree then can you imagine going to school in a different
country and earning that same degree in a second language that you
didn't even learn until you <i>were an adult</i>?<br />
<br />
The
closest experiences I have come from trips I took to Puerto Rico and
Ireland. Puerto Rico was the first country I've ever gone to where
English wasn't the dominant language spoken or written in and even then
it's still a part of the United States! I remember wanting to take
photographs at the capitol building in San Juan and not being sure if I
was allowed to. I used my piss-poor gringo Spanish to ask a security
guard if it was okay and I barely understood what she said in
response...so I nodded and smiled. She nodded and smiled quietly in
return, giving me a thumbs up. She might've been giving me the approval
for the photos or maybe she thought there was something wrong with the
grown man with the childlike Spanish pronunciation; another silent gulf.<br />
<br />
As apprehensive as I was in Puerto Rico, it was even <i>worse</i>
in Ireland, if you can believe it. I mean, we are talking about a place
where the people not only speak the same language as me and enjoy a
nearly identical cultural background as me--they even look exactly like
me! And yet, it was my first time being in what was, to me, a faraway,
foreign country. The language wasn't so much an issue as the customs
were. I didn't think of it until my wife and I left the hotel to head
into Dublin and had to get on the bus. I realized that I had <u>no idea</u> how the bus worked. I knew that it would be easy enough to ask...but I was afraid of looking stupid.<br />
<br />
I
was in a place that was as close to being identical to home as it could
be and still be different--the closest thing to a foreign comfort zone
as possible...and I was <i>still</i> petrified of being judged and
ridiculed. It made me think of the few foreign students I encountered as
a student growing up in Brooklyn. I remember the abuse they took and I
can only imagine the effect it had on them. <br />
<br />
I think
now again of the father of the boy on my son's flag football team. Can
you picture yourself as a child and him suddenly showing up in <i>your </i>elementary school class? The new kid who
stares blankly at the teacher--unresponsive when prompted for an answer?
Who blinks and nods instead of speaking up? Can you imagine the fear
that he must have felt--not wanting to <i>be</i> made fun of, not
wanting to be thought of as stupid for the way he spoke or for his lack
of understanding of an utterly foreign language? Can you picture the
other kids laughing at him? The names they must have called him? A boy
who wanted nothing more than a better shot at life than he had back
home.<br />
<br />
There is an alarming lack of empathy that is
exhibited by people when it comes to immigrants. These people are
presumed to be something that they are not and it sickens me; it also
stems from one simple
experiential factor: those who sit in judgment have <u><b>never</b></u>
been put in a similar
situation. I would be shocked if any of them have found themselves in a
foreign country where they didn't speak the language and were forced to
engage in daily functions with absolutely no help and then still had the
gall to judge the immigrants who come here seeking a better life. Would
you be able to muster up the courage to work shitty, low-paying jobs to
give your kids a chance that literally millions of people take for
granted--one that they have <i>never</i> given a second thought throughout their entire lives? Would <i>you</i>
be able to be that kid--the one who gets laughed at and picked on
because he or she dresses differently and doesn't speak the language
correctly if at all? That teenager whose entire life has been uprooted
suddenly in a place that might as well be an alien world? That feeling
of awkwardness and wanting desperately to fit in but being utterly
incapable of doing so?<br />
<br />
Do you know what the answer
most often is to these questions when I pose them to folks who barely
interact with people of other cultures--particularly those who came here
from somewhere else? The single most common response?<br />
<br />
<br /><br />Silence.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-71945002133540453442016-05-08T23:37:00.001-04:002016-05-09T14:14:11.526-04:00Why Fear The Walking Dead is Failing in its Mission (Spoilers within)<i>Please note that this entry contains potentially MAJOR spoilers for Fear the Walking Dead, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, LOST, and Better Call Saul. Please also note that this is entirely subjective in nature and is not intended to offend or inflame anyone who holds these shows near and dear.</i><br />
<br />
I was <u>thrilled</u> when I first heard about a new companion show to The Walking Dead. For me, few programs have ever approached the amalgam of success that The Walking Dead has fostered and improved upon during its run on AMC. The characters are engrossing as they are written but even better are the performances by their respective actors; the dialogue is often meaningful and thought-provoking--the special effects and settings are inimitable; and the action sequences are among the best television has ever produced.<br />
<br />
With that said, I had the highest of hopes for Fear the Walking Dead before it began and now, after the past few weeks of painful squirming, I feel like I am on the verge of tapping out. I can count the number of shows that I've bailed on on one hand, which makes this all the more disappointing. I don't watch a lot of television to begin with and so the shows that I watch I usually get behind early and remain an ardent supporter of even through their often untimely demises (Playmakers, Tilt, Invasion, Jericho, Firefly, and the Whispers to name but a few).<br />
<br />
Upon further reflection, I feel like the overarching reason that spurs on my bowing out of viewership of a given show is simply this: a drastic departure from the initial driving conflict or style. The shows that hook me do so without any flashy gimmicks or over-the-top premises; instead, I find myself compelled to <i>care</i> about one thing or another--sometimes the characters, the circumstances they find themselves in, or even the time or setting of the show. When one or more of those things change for the worse then I find myself questioning whether or not I am wasting my time; I have reached that point with Fear the Walking Dead.<br />
<br />
To provide a final preparatory example--I remember being excited to hear that Under the Dome would be coming to television. Admittedly not one of Stephen King's best stories (or at least not one of his strongest endings), it was still compelling enough to render me intrigued. I hopped on board from the premiere episode and, though concerned by some of the creative liberties taken by the show's writers and producers, I felt like it was worth sticking with. Then, as has happened with so many shows of late, things took a bizarre turn and the show transmogrified into an unrecognizable shell of itself; in short, it lost sight of its original direction.<br />
<br />
For me, LOST is still the greatest show I've ever seen (Breaking Bad was a <i>better</i> show but because I watched it after its television run I missed out on the week-to-week cliffhanging aspect along with the communal discussion that followed each episode of the two shows) but it wasn't without its warts. Most of the things that bothered people about the show didn't perturb me in the least. The reason for this is simple: the things that I was interested in learning about I knew wouldn't come until the very end. Again, many people griped about how things concluded but I was satisfied because I understood that a) not every answer would be hand fed to the viewers and b) it didn't feel like a cop out.<br />
<br />
Part of what made LOST stumble in the middle of its run is also at the heart of what has been making Fear the Walking Dead almost unwatchable. The characters, at times, have been running in circles--recordings looping <i>ad infinitum</i>. Think about LOST and those two seasons or so where, in every episode, one group of characters went into the jungle looking for another character or group of characters. It seemed like <i>every</i> episode repeated this trope as if signaling that the writers simply didn't know where to take the show; I feel like the same thing is happening on Fear.<br />
<br />
How many more times will we have to hear Madison and Strand argue? Or Madison and Travis? Or Travis/Madison/Strand with Daniel? How many self-indulgent emo moments will Chris subject us to? I hated Nick in season one because of the repetition but he's arguably the only one who is <i>interesting</i> in season two! He's changed enough to warrant our buying into.<br />
<br />
Here's the problem: Fear the Walking Dead was pitched initially as a prequel of sorts to The Walking Dead. The primary draw was being able to see the devolution that fans of the latter missed out on by way of Rick Grimes' comatose state. We were promised to see the gradual unraveling of society with an emphasis on how these everyday people would first encounter and then ultimately cope with the unthinkable. It would likely be a far more psychological and emotional source of terror that these characters would face as opposed to the corporeal horror that has captivated us for more than half a decade in the world of The Walking Dead.<br />
<br />
Now, admittedly, it's incredibly difficult to build the necessary amount of tension in only a six episode season (as season one was) BUT--and this is an important but--it is hardly impossible. One need look only a day and a time slot ahead to Better Call Saul to see a show that did not allow its length to limit its storytelling ability. Some fans of Saul expected to see Jimmy McGill's transformation be complete by the end of season one if not season two but the fact that (*SPOILER ALERT*) that hasn't happened yet is a testament to the storytelling abilities of Gilligan and Gould.<br />
<br />
Think for a second about what these two have managed to do: they took a minor character from arguably the biggest show in history--one whose outcome <b><u>we already know</u></b>--and have managed to make a compelling narrative not about what happens <i>after</i> Breaking Bad but what happens <i>before</i> and presumably <i>during</i> it.<br />
<br />
Masterful.<br />
<br />
For Saul's writers the intention was at the beginning and continues to be the transformation of Jimmy McGill into Saul Goodman. The assumption is that this will occur at some point but the purpose is the journey not the end result. Fear the Walking Dead could have and should have taken a cue from this.<br />
<br />
In only six episodes of Fear they ran through the entirety of what they wanted the show to be about. Again, I understand that they weren't sure of whether or not there would be future seasons but neither did Into the Badlands! They told enough of the story to end it on a compelling note but left MANY doors wide open to keep the narrative going. And what did Fear do?<br />
<br />
They took us out to sea.<br />
<br />
Seriously? The show was supposed to be this insightful slow burner that brought us into the heart of society's collapse and instead we're stuck in season one with Madison whining about Nick multiple times an episode, Travis trying too hard to be the good guy and to do the right thing, and Chris and Alicia rendering themselves incapable of being rooted for as the angsty, too-old teens. At times the performances were competent and the moments captivating but until Strand and Salazar entered the fray the show was, at best, treading water.<br />
<br />
And so we find ourselves in season two on a boat--the characters as lost on turbid water as we are as viewers of a show that is clearly adrift. There is little beyond a superficial level that is worth rooting for in these characters and their often overwrought performances (Madison as moralizer, Strand as the aloof pseudo-villain, Nick as the detached antihero). This of course falls on the writers and producers of the show and not the actors who are clearly doing the best that they can with what they are given.<br />
<br />
Again though: this was <i>supposed</i> to be a show that we would get behind emotionally because of our ability to relate to the characters and their predicament. We root for who we do in The Walking Dead because <i>those</i> characters exhibit the aspects of ourselves that we suppress but secretly wish we could employ. We have been given <i>reasons</i> <b>to</b> root for these people over several seasons! Remember Carol early on? Most people couldn't stand her! Then, at least until the last few episodes of season six, she was arguably the best character on a show with Daryl Dixon and Rick Grimes!<br />
<br />
The problem with Fear the Walking Dead is that it was rushed through the exact thing that made it interesting in the first place. In only six episodes we're basically where we start off in The Walking Dead. Worse, in only a few <i>more</i> episodes, we find ourselves nearly caught up to speed in terms of the mindsets that Rick and company have taken literally years to develop.<br />
<br />
Stay with me on this: at the beginning of Fear the Walking Dead, Madison is a high school guidance counselor with a sordid set of circumstances at home. She exhibits a willingness to defend her family at all costs but hardly the acumen becoming of a postapocalyptic survivor--even when facing the recently-risen familiar faces of a coworker and neighbor.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to tonight's episode and, <b>BARELY THREE WEEKS LATER</b>, she is *SPOILER ALERT* leading the charge on a rescue mission with gun in hand to retrieve her husband and daughter.<br />
<br />
Think about that: in twenty or twenty-one days these people are supposed to have gone from completely normal (and clueless about the undead I might add) to fucking cold blooded <i>experts</i>!? Connor, the presumed antagonist only an episode ago, seems to have managed to arrange an intricate pirating gig for himself despite being a normal, everyday person less than twenty days earlier. I'm all for suspension of disbelief when it comes to my fiction...but that's pretty fucking ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Again, I understand that art imitates life only to an extent and so, in theory, it's plausible that these people could undergo such drastic changes in such a short amount of time...except for one thing: the whole point of the show was supposed to be <u>normalcy</u> not evolution. It was supposed to be about the <i>journey</i> that these characters took to reach the point of Rick and the Atlanta survivors at the beginning of The Walking Dead. Twenty days simply doesn't cut it!<br />
<br />
I remember when Hurricane Sandy hit our area. We were without power for six days but a few of the neighboring regions went much, <i>much</i> longer without it. During that time of being off the grid there were lootings and a general sense of unease but the entire fabric of society managed to stay intact. Even in the places that were the hardest hit (like Staten Island and southern Brooklyn) people managed to retain their humanity. No one became a bloodlusting murderer or an Anton Chigurh-inspired pirate. There were no primal orgies in the streets or inversions of societal norms. There were ordinary people coping with extraordinary circumstances with the intention of returning to a previous way of life.<br />
<br />
Fear the Walking Dead is based on a far more calamitous premise and yet these characters go from being utterly clueless about their circumstances to exerting their wills in highly unlikely fashions. You've got Nick becoming a secret agent of sorts--Madison the gun-toting superhero. Strand the not-so-bad-guy. Arguably the only character who might have performed such a feat on The Walking Dead was Shane and he was a goddamn sociopath!<br />
<br />
And therein lies the rub: these characters have become caricatures of themselves--almost completely unbelievable to varying degrees. Give me a break!<br />
<br />
Everything has been rushed and now it's all falling apart. This show's staff are attempting to cash in on the success of The Walking Dead by surreptitiously transforming its own plot and performers into pathetic mimeographs of the already established ones of note. We were promised a show that would focus on the rise and fall of the undead and society and instead find ourselves in nearly the exact environment that The Walking Dead took literally years to establish only in a few <u>weeks</u> instead.<br />
<br />
We have had eleven episodes of Fear the Walking Dead so far. How many main characters have we lost? My current total is 0.75 because Eliza was hardly there enough to count as a full character and Mrs. Salazar was ancillary at best. In the first eleven episodes of The Walking Dead we lost Ed Peletier, a slew of Atlanta Camp Survivors, Andrea's sister Amy, Jim, and Otis.<br />
<br />
Would a main character death help or save Fear the Walking Dead? I can't say for sure but it would certainly help! I'd hate to see Strand, Madison, Daniel, or Nick go but as for the others? Chris and Ofelia are undeniably expendable, Alicia has at least been engrossed more in the plot, and Travis could go either way. In all that's <u>eight</u> characters that this show is dragging from one episode to the next! EIGHT!<br />
<br />
You want eight from The Walking Dead?<br />
<br />
Rick, Carl, Carol, Daryl, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha.<br />
<br />
Pick any ONE of those and put them up against even the best that Fear the Walking Dead has to offer. There's just not enough <u>substance</u> in the latter to warrant an attachment like the former has engendered throughout its run.<br />
<br />
Without some sort of emotional manipulation I feel like this show will squander what interest it has managed to sustain to this point. If the initial build up was supposed to be towards the very early days of the end then what the hell are we supposed to look forward to now? Some impossible reunion or crossover with characters from the main show? A happily-ever-after story by way of Baja? It's not a rhetorical question--I genuinely have no idea just what it is that we're supposed to care about.<br />
<br />
I'm willing to stick it out through the end of this season but I have a bad feeling that this might be AMC's first dud for me--a premium channel version of Under the Dome that had the utmost promise but became ultimately nothing but sweet nothings whispered into our ears.<br />
<br />
<br />The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-20875915482991615052015-08-09T11:28:00.000-04:002018-02-09T15:06:45.612-05:00Why Pet Parenting Represents the Nadir of Modern American CivilizationMan and beast have enjoyed a mutually beneficial relationship for thousands of years. Our quadripedal companions have long looked to us for sustenance whilst providing us with companionship and security. It's an arrangement that's been pretty swank for the animals (mostly dogs due to their training efficiency and degree of affection) and certainly useful for us. Somehow, though, a seemingly trivial, minor distinction has been lost in the past ten or fifteen years--one that seeks to undermine the validity of this interaction and, dare I say, to degrade and devalue our own existences. At some indeterminable point in the past two decades, animals went from being pets to <i>family members</i>. This might not seem problematic to you but it scares the living shit out of me because, well...<br />
<br />
...but pets aren't <i>people</i>.<br />
<br />
We live in a society where <u><i>everything</i></u> has to have an additional level of value--unnecessary descriptors that serve the sole purpose of seemingly elevating our own overinflated egos; nothing is simple or sacred anymore. It used to be just an apple but then somehow it had to become an <i>organic</i> apple (or <i>"AW-GAH-NIC" </i>if you're from Staten Island). I get that distinction though, especially in light of the harsh hormones and caustic chemicals that are used in food growth. You want to know what's going into the food that's going into <i>you</i> and that's a good thing. What's <i>not</i> a good thing is the added layers of distinction that accompany damn near <i>everything</i> nowadays.<br />
<br />
"Organic" no longer suffices; now it has to be "locally harvested," "hand-raised," "farm-to-table," or derivative of one of the myriad, asinine dietary subcultures like vegans and paleos. The coffee you're drinking is no longer simply light or dark roasted: it's coffee from fair-trade, Ethiopian/Sumatran/Himalayan, medium-bodied, saturnine roast, hand-picked, organic, ethnically sensitive and environmentally sustainable beans. Just the thought of reading a sign with all of that bullshit written on it is making me sick.<br />
<br />
We are a society of self-promotion. I say society and not generation because it's not the up-and-coming youth of America who are furthering this egoistic agenda but rather the goddamn adults! Think about it: people between the ages of twenty and sixty are setting the example for the next generation who are already assholes by association. It's not limited to food and coffee but is endemic in damn near everything including two of my most ardent passions: music and craft beer. <i>EVERYONE</i> is a music critic in his or her mind nowadays and <i>no one</i> stops to question whether or not they are qualified to make the bombastic claims that they do or to explore the history of the genre they're lambasting. And don't get me started on the self-aggrandizing snobbery in craft beer; beer geeks are achingly wannabe elitists.<br />
<br />
I could write tomes about all of the different groups of people that piss me off with their narcissistic, self-serving behavior but in the interest of keeping my own level of agita to an acceptable level, I'll focus on the folks who belong in the ninth circle of hell: pet parents. I'm amazed by the rush of anger and aggravation that just rippled through me when I typed that. These people are enough to make me want to drive off a cliff or take a chance on a SpaceX trip to points unknown.<br />
<br />
I'm sure that what I'm about to say will piss off a lot of people and I'm okay with that because getting angry is the first step towards awakening; actually <i>feeling</i> something real like that is akin to being detached from the Matrix and marks the beginning of a new life in some ways. Raw emotion is shunned in present-day America in favor of the endless self-esteem masturbation that you people engage in on a daily basis; therein lies the bigger issue that I hope to tackle by the end of this lengthy diatribe.<br />
<br />
Everything has a surfeit of superfluous nomenclature nowadays and yet there is an alarming dearth of value and meaning in these tag lines. It's painfully obvious to me that most of these descriptors exist for precisely two reasons: to make us feel like we are better than we are and to give the appearance to others that we are better than them. It terrifies me that that's really all it comes down to and yet, to me, it seems like an insurmountable obstacle to getting people to extract their heads from their asses.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-68WEPrPuU0k/VcdTFHqohRI/AAAAAAAAAiE/FUi9j4g3OBE/s1600/Maslow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-68WEPrPuU0k/VcdTFHqohRI/AAAAAAAAAiE/FUi9j4g3OBE/s320/Maslow.jpg" width="320" /></a>We have become a people incapable of actually <i>feeling</i> anything because our capacities for emotion and<br />
criticism have shriveled like an old man's prostate; we're tumbling down Maslow's pyramid at an accelerating rate and no one seems to notice or to care. People are engaged in a never-ending pursuit of praise through self-promotion, chasing the meaningless adulation from the masses that has somehow become the American lifeblood. It's funny and sad how often I hear people complaining about the fact that <i>every</i> kid gets a trophy just for participating (I refuse to employ the word "competing" because there is no competition involved in those attaboy/attagirl eliciting activities; competition belies a winner and a slew of losers in his or her wake, which is patently impossible when everyone walks away with an award) and yet no one seems to realize that they're engaging in the same type of behavior in their everyday lives!<br />
<br />
The difference is superficial but achingly telling: people post things on social media to obtain <i>likes</i>. Likes, for crying out loud! Jesus, it's right there in front of you goddamn lemmings and <u><i>none of you</i></u> are willing to pull your dead, vacant gazes away from your screens to notice. You live your lives sucking at the teat of empty, insipid praise under the guise of happiness and self-fulfillment without <i>once</i> questioning the purpose of what you're doing or the actual retail price of the emotional satisfaction that you <i>think</i> you're deriving from these endeavors. Every act of self-aggrandizing is a vacuous attempt at feeling special and important in a world where less and less matters simply because you oafs have stopped paying attention to what has any actual worth. You're all oblivious to the vampiric nature of social media and the way each and every post, poke, and like sucks a little bit more of your soul and self-worth away from you, turning it into garmonbozia for the puppeteers who keep feeding you the same meaningless bullshit you all just keep lapping up like warm milk.<br />
<br />
Everything has an extreme end to it and, to me, pet parents are the worst of the worst when it comes to the aforementioned praise-seeking bullshit. I cannot tell you how viciously I disdain these people but I can tell you <i>why</i> I loathe them with such vociferous ferocity: they are knowingly perpetuating the farce I outlined above and are intentionally seeking your attention. It's akin to the brightly colored advertisement on the road that says, "You just read this sign." There's no value in that act--no accomplishment to be had because it caters to our basest reflexive actions. It's akin to <a href="http://www.slamonline.com/media/slam-tv/kevin-durant-blocks-kids-shots-into-oblivion-video/#rWiG7VFmhpV3rG3h.97">Kevin Durant swatting this kid's shot.</a> Sure it counts as a block on KD's stat sheet but did he really <i>achieve</i> anything?<br />
<br />
What I'm getting at is the people who shove their pet ownership in your face usually by way of bumper stickers, car magnets, and t-shirts, saying nothing of the bullshit that occurs online. <i>Nothing</i> infuriates me more than seeing a "Who Rescued Who?" magnet on the back of the car in front of me; it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to slam a dull, heavy object repeatedly against both vehicle and operator in those moments. This bothers me on multiple levels (the least of which is grammatically--it should be "Who Rescued Whom" but no one gives a shit about grammer or speling nemore so y should i,) and it really embodies the sentiments that represent the culture we live in.<br />
<br />
First, here's an actual quotation I found online about that magnet:<br />
<br />
"I really admire the bumper stickers with a paw print that states: “Who Rescued Who?” It’s so cute and powerful and to the point."<br />
<br />
This single couplet sums up everything that is twisted and wrong about you fuckers mostly because of the sheer number of you who probably agree with him or her. I'm going to use that quotation as a jumping point for the dressing down to come.<br />
<br />
First of all, what the fuck is <i>admirable</i> about that self-serving slurp-fest? I admire hard-working folks who toil away at thankless jobs to provide for their families without ever complaining. I admire people who give freely of their time to help others without ever asking for anything in return. I admire those who struggle and fail but who pick themselves back up and remain determined to achieve their goals.<br />
<br />
<i>You</i> people admire others who are so emotionally empty that they seek to sate themselves with vapid, inane self-indulgence.<br />
<br />
Trust me: there's <u><b>nothing</b></u> powerful about that crap. And just what in the holy hell <i>is</i> the point? The common answer would likely be some insipid shit like, "I was lost but Bowser (or whatever other yuppy puppy, hippy dippy, bilbo baggins bullshit name people give their pets) saved me."<br />
<br />
Seriously--stop for a second and think about that. Let that marinate in your cranial juices for a moment. The implication is that the pet owner was emotionally lacking in his or her life and that the presence of this animal somehow saved them from that aching loneliness. Sounds innocuous enough on paper until you look back at the original statement:<br />
<br />
"Who Rescued Who."<br />
<br />
This is where my vitriolic fury really begins to heat up. Why can't it just be a pet like it's been for literally thousands of years? Why does it need the distinction that it's a "rescue"? And why do you have to point out <i>your </i>role in the transaction? (I'll answer that question in a moment--I'm on a roll so I can't stop now!)<br />
<br />
As a literal person, I'm offended on a deeply cognitive level by the whole notion of "<i>rescuers</i>." Notice that I didn't say <u>rescues</u> and that there are quotation marks around the word I <i>did</i> elect to use. I can get behind the idea of rescue animals and I genuinely admire (!) the folks who elect to adopt those animals over others...to a degree. I'll type this next sentence v e r y s l o w l y s o y o u c a n u n d e r s t a n d i t:<br />
<br />
<i>YOU</i> did not rescue that animal.<br />
<br />
Phew! I can't believe how much relief that just gave me. It was so much fun I think I'll try it again!<br />
<br />
<u>YOU</u> did <i>NOT</i> rescue that animal.<br />
<br />
One more time for posterity!<br />
<br />
<i><u><b>YOU DID NOT RESCUE THAT ANIMAL!</b></u></i><br />
<br />
There! I said it. (And I seriously derived a sick amount of pleasure from that.) My biggest gripe with the whole rescue thing is the fact that it is devoid of logic (or, more importantly, <i>why</i> it is purposely devoid of logic). That animal was <i>actually rescued</i> by someone other than you therefore it is physically impossible for you to be the rescuer! You're making false claims and operating under an assumed identity, which is probably illegal but most certainly should be. Shame on you for the farce!<br />
<br />
Let's cut the bullshit out for a minute and have some real talk, shall we? Let's call it exactly what it is and then explain why this distinction is crucial and egregiously, intentionally overlooked. Unless you personally rescued an animal from a dire, life-threatening circumstance, you, yourself are not a rescuer. The fact that that animal might be put down if it wasn't adopted before a given termination date does not make you a rescuer--it makes you a pet owner. The person who emancipated the animal prior to adoption is the sole rescuer; you simply moved it from its present safe-haven into your own home. And what does that make that act?<br />
<br />
A transaction.<br />
<br />
Back in the day, you went to a pet store and you bought a pet. How we managed to fuck up something as simple as an exchange of cash for a product is beyond me but it has undeniably become drenched in the pathetic deluge of profligate self-gratification. Again, I respect the choice to purchase an animal that might be overlooked by most folks because, let's face it, <i>everyone</i> loves puppies and kittens. There also are people who genuinely elect to adopt these animals <u><b>solely</b></u> because they recognize that a) there's a good chance no one else will and b) that animal will subsequently be put to death.<br />
<br />
Funny, though, that the same people who have no problem snagging the unwanted, one-eyed mongrel with a gimpy leg won't touch that bruised peach or dour-looking lettuce in the produce aisle. There's a specific reason why that's true though: there's no social currency to be gained by the latter but rather a perceived amount through the former. Think about it: no one ever boasts about buying food that's near or past "expiration" (another fallacy for another rant) and yet <i>EVERYONE</i> who has obtained a rescue animal vocalizes that act in one way or another; the reason for that is the crux of this entire diatribe and sits at the core of what is slowly sucking out all of our souls.<br />
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Residents of the year 2015 have an innate, insatiable need for recognition by their peers. It makes me think of Lisa Simpson during the school strike when she freaks out and screams, "Grade me...look at me...evaluate and rank me!" People are so pathetically unfulfilled that they seek the most minute modicums of approval from others and interpret that as being somehow valuable. Their lives are so empty that they have to bolster every single act that they perform by adding purported layers of meaning just to feel like they're actually doing something worthwhile and good. The problem though is that what <i>is</i> gained in esteem from these things is so minuscule it's almost non-existent (thus the Kevin Durant video--sure he blocked a shot but there was no challenge--no chance of failure in what he did thus stripping the act of any true meaning).<br />
<br />
Many if not most pet owners are not content simply with having an animal companion to take care of. Instead, they flaunt the animal's past as if it were their own thereby elevating themselves, enhancing their perceived self-worth in their warped, twisted minds while simultaneously degrading and devaluing the rest of us. They believe, genuinely, that they have done something noble--courageous even!--by adopting these animals. They go so far as to refer to the animals as their children and themselves as the pets' parents...<br />
<br />
...and that's where I draw the line.<br />
<br />
There is a very real, necessary caveat that I have to throw out there before I press onward. I recognize and respect the fact that some couples experience difficulty in conceiving a child. For some, it's a physiological issue while for others it's simply shitty luck. Regardless, not being able to achieve something that you desperately want to while many others who are far less worthy seem awash in good fortune is a gutting thing to go through. My children represent the source of the richest happiness I enjoy in my life and it makes me ache to think of others who go through life wanting to produce offspring but for whatever reason are not able to. <i>THESE</i> people have a very real void that they often fill with something else--travel, hobbies, or, occasionally, pets. I can understand them treating their pets like children because, psychologically, they are balancing out their emotional needs--plugging the hole in their hearts and providing themselves with an avenue for the affection they've always had but were otherwise incapable of bestowing upon progeny.<br />
<br />
The same could be said for couples who actually <i>had</i> children but who lost one or more. That must be even more emotionally excoriating and I can't even begin to fathom that pain. Nothing can ever replace that child or fill the emotional void left in its place and, if it was an only child, it might simply be too painful to have another one. That's when the empty nursery gets turned into a home office or a craft area and the perfect opportunity to adopt a pet.<br />
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The notion of pet parents--these pitiful perpetrators of vainglorious acts of mass asininity--is beyond reproach in any other case. The scariest, saddest part though is that many of these people <b><u><i>actually have children</i></u></b>. That's the most addling aspect to me--the fact that that filial void <i>doesn't</i> exist for these people and yet they still feel the need to self-aggrandize. Then again, that just speaks to the zeitgeist of social media--the emotional sweet that is slowly rotting our souls leaving behind an aching cavity some crumbs in our facial hair.<br />
<br />
It's become anathema simply to be a pet owner; what once was the norm is now an atavistic endeavor shunned by the masses in favor of something a little glossier. People nowadays say shit like, "my pets are my children" without ever considering the lunacy of their ludicrous proclamations. No, actually, they are <i>not</i> your children. Biologically speaking, do they share your D.N.A.? Did they spend time in your womb?<br />
<br />
"Well, adopted children are still children and <i>they</i> don't fit those criteria," you might say and you would be right. But the difference is that those adopted human children count as dependents on your taxes, must engage in some sort of compulsory education, and, most importantly, they will someday (potentially) join society by gaining employment, moving out, and beginning their own families.<br />
<br />
You're so hellbent on proving that your pets are your children? Fine. Let <i>them</i> tend to <i>your</i> needs when you're an invalid.<br />
<br />
The one overarching reason why pets can never be your children is this: you can walk into any pet store and buy a replacement if yours gets flattened by a moving van or dies of old age at fifteen. All it takes is cash or credit to have your very own Snowball II or Santa's Little Helper the Second.<br />
<br />
The saddest part of all of this is that there are many, <i>many</i> children who would benefit from adoption. These kids would enjoy a very real rescuing from the foster-care system and would provide far more emotional fulfillment than a pet; the problem is that they require more out of you in every way possible. And isn't that the central issue in all of this? People don't want to be challenged anymore: they want the most amount of reward for the least amount of effort and commitment. No one wants to <i>earn</i> anything and in-so-doing they are losing <u>everything</u> there is to be gained through the <i>process</i>; they want the physique without the aching muscles.<br />
<br />
People will take whatever ego stroking they can get whether it's Facebook likes or nods of approval and adulation for their saccharine car magnets. They would rather portray themselves as valiant heroes and heroines worthy of your praise for essentially buying an animal. It makes me sick and it leaves me wondering what the hell is next in this cesspool of absurdity--our throwaway culture that overvalues the most evanescent moments of panegyrical praise while turning a blind eye to the ugly emptiness in their own hearts and the fact that they simply aren't as important as they've been made to feel.<br />
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It's only a matter of time before adopted children start being referred to as rescues; by then, will we <i>all</i> be beyond saving?<br />
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<br />The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-68002896328560348372013-11-25T13:23:00.004-05:002013-11-25T13:23:49.758-05:00Band Evolution Versus A Complete Departure In SoundI've heard some people say that you should never listen to a band beyond their third album. Fortunately, I rarely follow absolutes and have seen many instances of bands hitting their stride later in their careers. Many if not most modern bands wind up being one hit wonders with either a smash hit single or, if they're lucky, an album rife with solid material; it is when they release their sophomore efforts that they begin to fade slowly into the ether (The Calling and Crossfade are two great examples). Some manage to repeat their success and have either a remunerative followup or simply sustained support with a string of solid singles later on (The Wallflowers, Goo Goo Dolls, and Vertical Horizon). Fewer, of course, are those who write an unforgettable album--one that assures them a spot in music history--but who fail to find that magic a second time (Nine Inch Nails' "The Downward Spiral" is one of the most amazing albums ever written but, despite Trent Reznor's musical brilliance, he's failed to write anything remotely comparable to that opus). Fewest are the bands who craft not simply a great album but a <i>legendary</i> one and who go on to duplicate that fame and fortune later in their careers.<br />
<br />
Bands who manage to create a sustainable writing career often do so with a particular <i>sound</i>--something that they are recognized for instantly and that serves to define them. They become the best at what they do, which ultimately proves to be a double-edged sword: they grow to be inextricably linked with a particular genre and set themselves up for failure should they try to break free of those classifications. Some manage to find success by working within the confines of their genre but many others struggle to break free, often to their own detriment.<br />
<br />
There are numerous instances of bands with an identifiable sound resorting to a formulaic approach. To an extent, every album sounds the same and there is little evidence of the band pushing musical boundaries. Nickelback is arguably the best example of this approach. It's not unreasonable to declare that every Nickelback album sounds the same because, essentially, they all do. There are a few heavier tracks, the requisite (see: money making) ballads, an oddball acoustic track here or there, and a slew of filler. Of course, the Nickelback <i>sound</i> is not limited to the actual music but the lyrics as well. Nearly every song is about sex or is sexualized to some degree and few if any have any remotely memorable quality to them. That is not to say that the songs and their words are not catchy just that there is nothing redeemable about them. On the contrary, it's Nickelback's infectious sound that has generated the insane level of success that they have enjoyed over the past decade.<br />
<br />
At the opposite end of the spectrum are bands who suffer from musical A.D.D.. Their sound is mercurial at best, shifting constantly either from one song or one album to the next. Weezer is emblematic of this approach but in their case it works to their advantage; Rivers Cuomo's inability to sit still, musically, is part of what Weezer fans love about the music. The problem with this approach, consequently, is that there is no rhyme or reason to the albums and thus no stability. Fans of these bands rarely if ever know what they are going to get and many often lose patience and interest in the long run.<br />
<br />
Arguably the most successful and interesting bands are those who will dabble within the parameters of a particular style, branch off to something different but still related, and ultimately make a return to the sound that made them famous, putting a new spin on it that only years of experience and experimentation can provide. The first band that jumps to mind that fits this description is Metallica. The metal mogul's first few albums were quintessential thrash, even following a particular formula (e.g. the mega-hit, the Em based song, and the instrumental track). There was an evolution of sorts towards a cleaner, more listener-friendly sound that culminated with The Black Album. From there, though, things got a little bumpy with the release of Load, ReLoad, and then St. Anger. These three albums serve as the experimental members of the Metallica canon, causing derision and division among longtime fans of the band. A return to form with Death Magnetic gave the sleeping giant new life as the much anticipated followup album looms in the distance.<br />
<br />
Part of what rubbed people raw about the aforementioned Load and ReLoad is the fact that both seemed like a huge departure from the sound that made Metallica famous. As a music fan and musician myself, I find this point highly salient and love contemplating the question that it engenders: when does a band's evolution become a complete departure in sound? For me, I would say that the answer lies in the motivation behind the change and in the execution. Many rock bands are releasing albums that are heavily influenced by electronic sounds and are incorporating elements of styles like Dubstep. Again, for me, this seems more like a pathetic effort to stay relevant and to cash in on a current trend rather than a form of evolution for the band. That's not to say that there aren't instances of brilliance but rather that most do not seem to jive with the band's identity to that point.<br />
<br />
Evolution, of course, is a slippery slope when it comes to music. I cannot say with any degree of certainty where evolution ends and experimentation begins; it is something that needs to be determined by the individual listener. I find bands like Incubus and Linkin Park to be excellent examples of evolution gone awry. With regards to the former, most fans who encountered Incubus with their album S.C.I.E.N.C.E. have hated everything since because of how different the sound is. Ordinarily, that would represent less of an evolution and more of the aforementioned departure but in this case I think it's a little more nuanced than that. Incubus was heavily influenced by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and, having gained confidence in themselves from the commercial viability of S.C.I.E.N.C.E., they wanted to establish themselves in their own right rather than being labeled an R.H.C.P. ripoff. <br />
<br />
What followed were four of my favorite albums and the core of the Incubus canon. Make Yourself was phenomenal and is an album that demonstrates extensive musicianship despite being written off as another piece of nu-metal garbage. Morning View, the followup to Make Yourself, is one of if not the greatest album I've ever heard and is a clear evolution from its predecessor. A Crow Left of the Murder and Light Grenades, in turn, are easily linkable to the other two albums despite showing considerable changes in sound. There are fewer heavier tracks on the later albums but the complexity of the arrangements improved to an impressive degree. <br />
<br />
I absolutely abhor the latest album but many feel like it is yet another step forward. I felt like the lyrics were insipid and that the music was uninspired. To me, the heavy aspect of the music is part of what made Incubus great and to see it replaced with mellower, almost muzakian elements saddens me. Still, as I see it, the band made one left turn after S.C.I.E.N.C.E. and has followed a relatively straight path since then without playing it <i>too</i> safe.<br />
<br />
As someone whose introduction to Incubus came <i>after</i> S.C.I.E.N.C.E., I have an easier time appreciating all of the albums than someone who began with it. An extremely latecomer to the world of Slipknot (I first became familiar with them in 2012), I have a similar appreciation for their body of work and can see a clear progression from their inimitable self-titled debut and their most recent effort. Fans of the Slipknot and Iowa albums, though, often hold Vol. 3 and All Hope in Gone in disdain because of a lack of edge and aggression. I see them both as being the pinnacle of their musicianship despite the aforementioned beginning efforts serving as their defining works. So perhaps <i>when</i> you encounter a band might also influence the conclusion of evolution versus exploitation.<br />
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I can think of no better example of that exploitation argument than Linkin Park. I was a huge LP fan when they came out and was with them right up until A Thousand Suns came out. The first two albums were amazing and incredibly similar. Not wanting to be pigeonholed as a rap rock band, Linkin Park then shifted towards a more mainstream rock sound with Minutes to Midnight. For me, the focus on the musical instruments and the move away from the rap-centric tracks represented an evolution; the guys seemed to have <i>grown</i> as musicians. The problem came with the fourth album, A Thousand Suns.<br />
<br />
Experimental at best, A Thousand Suns took a long time to grow on me. I can now appreciate it as an excellent album in its own right but I have a difficult time accepting it as part of the Linkin Park canon. It sounds like nothing else that they've done and it just doesn't seem to fit among the collective of their work. Thus the problem with that complete departure in sound. See, I feel like an album like A Thousand Suns <i>would</i> fit in the canon if it was portrayed as being an intentional experiment--an album in its own right but one that was meant to serve as a pet project for the members rather than the next link on the album chain. I can see a sort of bond between their most recent release, Living Things, and the first three albums but still do not feel like there is any relationship with A Thousand Suns. <br />
<br />
The band risks further alienating its fan base--one that is clamoring for a return to form of sorts--with its next release. To date, Linkin Park has released two rap rock albums, one rock album, one ethereal experimental album, and one electronic album. There is little relationship between the later works and the earlier ones and, frankly, it feels like the band is losing sight of who and what they really are. That's the danger with too much experimentation within the <i>brand</i> of the band.<br />
<br />
When a band is known for a very particular sound it can become extremely difficult to produce something new that doesn't sound stale and contrived. Green Day became legends with the release of Dookie in the early '90s. The problem for them was that they tried to stick to the pop punk formula without ever really hitting it big within the genre. It wasn't until they released arguably their most prolific hit, "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)" that the opportunity for evolution presented itself. Suddenly, this high-energy punk band was known worldwide because of an acoustic guitar-based track (much like Plain White Ts with "Hey There Delilah" of recent fame). They tried the Dookie formula one more time before drafting their magnum opus, American Idiot, in 2004.<br />
<br />
Touching upon my initial point, that's precisely why you cannot give up on a band you love, even when it seems like all hope is lost. Their legendary status solidifying album was their third but their <i>best</i> work to date didn't come until their <u><b>seventh</b></u> record. And how did they follow <i>that</i> up? With one of the most ingenious moves in music history: they released an even <i>more</i> different-sounding album under a fake name. This deflected the insane level of expectation that American Idiot generated and allowed the band to write another phenomenal album (though one that I admittedly dislike). Rocking the boat one more time, they followed <b>THAT</b> up with three record releases in a single year. Granted, none of the triad was particularly good but it shows that the band is not content to rest on their laurels.<br />
<br />
And then there are the Foo Fighters. Easily my favorite band of all time, the Foos are fronted by one of the most brilliant musical minds we've ever seen. How do you follow the demise of one of the most beloved, successful bands of all-time? You go out and do your own thing. The honesty of the first Foo Fighters album showed that Dave Grohl was not content to cash in on the fame of his previous band but was intent instead on blazing a new trail for himself.<br />
<br />
Here's the great thing about the Foo Fighters: they have an instantly identifiable sound but one that is not easy to define. I can hear a single note and know that it's from a Foo Fighters album and, in some cases, if it's a b-side, know which album it was connected to. The band's sophomore album featured numerous tracks of which any single one could have made their career and was followed up by two more excellent albums. The danger at that point though was releasing another record like numbers three or four. Instead, what followed was the best example of musical evolution I've ever encountered.<br />
<br />
After penning There Is Nothing Left To Lose and its mega hit "Times Like These," Dave Grohl decided to flex his musical muscles and to demonstrate both his and his band members' instrumental prowess. The band released In Your Honor, a gargantuan album almost unrivaled in its scope. One disc was electric-based, heavy, uptempo rock while the second featured stripped down, sparer acoustic tracks, exclusively. The collective serves to define who the Foo Fighters are with each disc standing alone as its own incredible album.<br />
<br />
On the heels of In Your Honor came Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace--a sleek, slick studio effort that produced some of the band's most popular songs. Not content to craft another polished record despite its success, Dave Grohl and company then went to work on the quintessential, career-defining album Wasting Light. Recorded analog instead of digitally, in a garage instead of a multimillion dollar studio, this album stands as the band's crowning achievement. Heavy, soft, complex, catchy, it has all of the elements of the perfect album...and the scary part is, when the Foos finally lay down their instruments for good, it might not even prove to be their best.<br />
<br />
And that's just it. You can never count a band out no matter what changes they make if it's a part of their <i>evolution</i>. The ones who try to ride on the coattails of current trends will ultimately fail if that's the only thing that they do; it's those who draw from those experiences in an effort to sharpen their definition further that will ultimately succeed. The best bands, then, have an easily identifiable sound--one that varies but never completely changes as they move forward through their careers--and an insatiable desire to push themselves to new musical heights without selling out to the lowest popular denominator. They release extremely different music as EPs or side projects without tainting their legacy. And, ultimately, they find their way back to who they are if ever they lose sight along the way.<br />
<br />
<br />
Linkin Park, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Incubus, SlipknotThe Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-4696701599266153312013-09-19T09:24:00.000-04:002013-09-21T17:48:12.555-04:00The Story Of Echo<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v_xfit_nwxo/Uj4QoBwnYmI/AAAAAAAAAUU/QAX1jG3jZNg/s1600/DSC10030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v_xfit_nwxo/Uj4QoBwnYmI/AAAAAAAAAUU/QAX1jG3jZNg/s320/DSC10030.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Echo at the Manitoba Welcome Center up the road<br />
from the Canadian border</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />One of my favorite experiences as a kid was going on road trips with my parents; few things excited me as much as the prospect of seeing a new state welcome sign. Part of it was the fact that visiting a new state felt akin to stepping foot on foreign soil--embarking upon a journey to a new world. I mean, to a seven year old, Virginia or Maine might as well be halfway around the globe!<br />
<br />
Through my adolescence, I often dreamed about the trips that I would go on when the freedom of adulthood would finally wrest me from the bondage of high school. The cross country road trip always held a special allure, reaching Colorado in particular partially because it was something my father had done before I was born. There was just something invigorating about the idea of having nothing but open road ahead of and behind me while I cruised towards whatever destination lie in wait.<br />
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Sometimes, the realization of our dreams leaves us wanting--aching for the expectant anticipation rather than the underwhelming realities we experience as adults. In a few rare instances though the actuality of that attainment far surpasses anything we could have dared to imagine. Looking back on all of the journeys that I have been blessed to have undertaken, I can only smile and be thankful that the latter proved to be the case time and time again. Each of those trips had its own identity and none would have been the same without the woman sitting across from me and the car that we drove in.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is the story of our 2001 Toyota Echo. <br />
<br />
At first glance, she might not seem like much. An atypical shade of blue (<i>supposedly</i> "sea foam blue," which, to this <b>day</b> I argue makes no sense whatsoever! I've always heard sea foam <i>green</i> but, apparently Google agrees with the paint namers since there are more results for sea foam blue than green. Whatever!), the Echo served for years as the stalwart sentry of the entry level economy market for Toyota. Thusly priced, named, and colored, it would prove to be the ideal car for my wife as she graduated from high school.<br />
<br />
I can still remember hearing people talk about Heather zipping along in "that little blue car of hers" early in our relationship. Separated by the Verrazano Bridge, we spent a fair amount of time traveling between Staten Island and Brooklyn in Heather's first and only car. It was the site of long talks and daydreaming sessions, of late night, after-movie snacks, and of course the requisite amount of making out.<br />
<br />
During those early years, Heather and I would often go driving aimlessly around at night, happy just to be spending time together and to be away from our respective situations. It reminded me of nights spent in "the van" with my best friends towards the end of high school. Though that was a brotherhood in its own right, there was undoubtedly a relationship of sorts being fostered between Heather, her car, and me. Then in my early twenties, I once more enjoyed the thrill of exploration as I learned the lay of the land in Staten Island, sharing in Heather's history when we visited certain places and forging our own as we encountered things neither of us had ever seen before (like the lighthouse and the South Pole on Staten Island).<br />
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One day during a petty argument, I took out the Starburst that I had been chewing and placed it on the outside of the windshield while Heather was driving. I don't remember the exact context of the moment but I will never forget the vehemence in Heather's demand that I take it off and the obvious hurt that I had caused her by essentially defacing a part of her. Until that point, I hadn't realized just how much her Toyota Echo had meant to her and it was only then that I began thinking of how integral a role the car was beginning to play in our lives. I had gone to visit Heather a handful of times in Staten Island but anytime she came to Brooklyn, either to pick me up or to drop me off, it was in that car. In a sense, it was what literally and figuratively brought us closer together.<br />
<br />
It wasn't until 2005 that <i>my</i> relationship with Echo began. As graduation loomed on the horizon, Heather and I discussed a number of trips that we wanted to take together in the future. Ultimately, we decided that since I had never been to Florida before and that she loved Disney World as much as she did, that we would head down there following our commencement from Baruch. Now, though I had taken driver's ed in high school and spent some time
practicing with my Dad, I ultimately never went for my license. With the road trip of my dreams dancing tantalizingly close, I decided that I would freshen up my driving skills and go for my license so that I could partake in the driving. To that point, Heather had done nearly all if not <i>all</i> of the driving for us including a day trip (!) to Niagara Falls that took nearly 22 hours round trip.<br />
<br />
Though I learned the mechanics of driving from both my coursework in school and from my Dad, it was through my experience with Echo that I really learned how to be comfortable in the driver's seat. I brushed up on all of the technical aspects while learning the nuances during the dozens of hours I spent practicing with Heather. I had already learned <i>how</i> to drive but my then-future wife had taught me how to <i>drive</i>. I made it through the tollbooths at the Verrazano, drove for the first time on the highway, and laid the seeds of all the future miles ahead of me under Heather's tutelage with Echo's pedals beneath my feet.<br />
<br />
If you're reading this wondering why I'm spending all this time on explication then it's probably worth taking an extra moment or two for something more direct. Heather and I have gotten all <i>kinds</i> of comments from people throughout the years about our car and, no matter what's been said, we each just silently shake our heads because it's obvious that people just don't understand. I've been asked how I can possibly be comfortable in "that little thing," we've both been asked about how many miles she has on her, followed by a shake of the head and an "isn't it time to upgrade?" We've been ragged on for the no-frills design--mocked for the lack of power windows and power locks. Echo's even been referred to as a "clown car."<br />
<br />
The thing that people fail to understand though--and the overarching point of this entry--is that neither Heather nor I consider Echo just a car; she's a part of our family. I've mentioned this from time to time to people and have been met with polite eye rolls or hostile laughter--something that never fails to amuse me in this era of pet parents and rescues. If a pet can be considered a family member then why not a car? If home is where the heart is and our Echo takes us wherever our hearts desire, then how can she not be considered home? Hell! With all of the time we've spent traveling in her, she basically <i>is</i> a home of sorts.<br />
<br />
To me, Echo's the type of car from a bygone era--a time when cars were given names and had personalities. No, I'm not referring to those ridiculous eyelashes that you see on cars or the myriad decorative stickers, ribbons, and decals that adorn vehicles these days. I'm talking instead about the days when a first car <i>mattered</i>--when it offered the opportunity to build a personal history with its driver(s). Momentous events that occurred in the lives of these owners were made all the more special because of the involvement of that <i>car</i>.<br />
<br />
See--<b><i>that's</i></b> it. It's the <i><u>history</u></i> that we share with this car that makes it so cherished. That Toyota Echo took me and Heather on our first date to Chevy's at the Staten Island Mall; she's driven us on every single road trip that we've embarked upon within continental North America (the only three drives we've gone on <i>without</i> her were in Hawai'i on our honeymoon, from San Francisco to Carson City (also during our honeymoon), and throughout Puerto Rico during our trip a few months later); she was present for every one of our amazing Adirondack adventures with Dick Doux and the crew up north--all seven trips into the mountains during the heart of winter; she helped both Heather and I move out of the houses that we had spent our respective childhoods growing up in and then again helped to move our growing family into our first home. It was within Echo's friendly confines that Heather and I had the discussion that helped us to realize that we <i>could</i> get engaged after all and it was Echo's front passenger seat that held the ring on my way home from the jeweler, rife with a torrent of excited emotion. She drove us home from our wedding reception and twice to the hospital for the deliveries of our children. We brought each of our children home from North Shore LIJ in Echo--one to Staten Island and one to Hazlet. She was there when we dropped off our son for his first day of school and when we picked him up later that morning.<br />
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Sure plenty of people experience those things...but to be able to do them all with the same vehicle? To me, that's priceless.<br />
<br />
But that's the <i>serious</i> stuff! My personal relationship with Echo has been forged through long, <i>long</i> hours spent driving along the highways of the United States and Canada. I've listened to countless minutes of music and passed innumerable mile markers as the macadam moved beneath our feet and enjoyed a nearly equal amount of conversation with Heather on our trips. I mean, people know <i>that</i> we've traveled a lot but I'm not sure that they're quite aware of the extent of our journeying. Here's just a sampling of the experiences that we've had with our Echo or the things that she could knock off of her bucket list were she to have one:<br />
<br />
Echo has driven us to 19 of the 21 Major League Baseball parks that we've been to.<br />
<br />
She's been across the U.S. Rocky Mountains three times and the Canadian Rockies twice.<br />
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<br />
She's been to the Everglades and the Bayou, the Nevada desert and the Colorado mountains including up and down a 14,000 foot mountain during which we lost the brakes (Mt. Evans), up a volcano (Mt. St. Helens), and over the Mississippi River four times.<br />
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<br />
<br />
She's driven through a blizzard with complete white out conditions, a hurricane, impenetrable fog, and complete and utter darkness in Arizona, she's hit tumbleweeds while thunderstorms rolled in across the vast valleys of the southwestern United States, and she's had the red dust of Wyoming on her tires.<br />
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<br />
<br />
She's been to all 48 contiguous states and 42 state capitols.<br />
<br />
She's been to the Jack Daniel's distillery twice, Central High School and a yard sale in Arkansas, Disney World, a Pony Express station, and more than a half dozen lighthouses including those at Montauk, New York and Ponce Inlet, Florida.<br />
<br />
She's driven up a magnetic hill in Moncton and over the world's longest covered bridge in Hartland, New Brunswick.<br />
<br />
She's driven through Times Square on a Friday night in the summer, to the September 11th memorial lights a few days after they first blazed towards the heavens, to Boston on Patriot's Day, and in Indianapolis during the Indy 500.<br />
<br />
She's driven on both an official NASCAR track in Watkins Glen, New York and on the very beach where auto racing was born in Daytona Beach, Florida. She even dipped her tires into the Atlantic Ocean while on said beach!<br />
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<br />
We've <i>driven</i> to places that many people have <i>flown</i> to like Seattle, Washington and Las Vegas, Nevada...<br />
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...as well as a few places that we've all heard of but few people I know have gone to...<br />
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She's been as far southeast as Key West, Florida, as far northeast as Halifax, Nova Scotia, as far west as Fullerton, California, and as far northwest as Fort Nelson, British Columbia.<br />
<br />
She's seen Mile 0 on Route 1 in Key West<br />
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Route 66<br />
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Four Corners State Park<br />
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<br />
<br />
And, most impressively of all, the first 250 miles of the Alaska Highway including Mile 0 in Dawson Creek, British Columbia!<br />
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<br />
She's driven on 46 of the 66 official Interstates in the continental United States:<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>I-4<br />I-5<br />I-10<br />I-12<br />I-15<br />I-20<br />I-24<br />I-25<br />I-29<br />I-35<br />I-40 <br />I-44<br />I-49<br />I-55<br />I-57<br />I-64<br />I-65<br />I-66<br />I-69<br />I-70<br />I-71<br />I-72<br />I-75<br />I-76<br />I-77<br />I-78<br />I-79<br />I-80<br />I-81<br />I-83<br />I-84* (separate highway in a distant state)<br />I-84<br />I-85<br />I-86* </b><b><b>(separate highway in a distant state)</b> </b><br />
<b>I-86<br />I-87<br />I-88<br />I-89<br />I-90<br />I-91<br />I-93<br />I-94<br />I-95<br />I-96<br />I-97<br />I-99</b><br />
<br />
She's also seen her fair share of adversity on the road having been involved in one collision in Brooklyn and a hit-and-run at the Staten Island Ferry parking lot. She got stuck in the sand in Daytona when the local roads' commission decided to open up a stretch of beach previously reserved only for AWD vehicles. She had a 70 mph encounter with a runaway construction barrel in Tennessee. And, most notably, she survived driving through a mudslide on the Alaska Highway.<br />
<br />
So from Route 1 to Route 66--the Trans-Canadian Highway to the Alaska Highway, we've covered A LOT of ground in our Echo. Not counting the scores of mini-road trips that we've gone on throughout the years, Echo has endured a full dozen trips of 1,000 miles or more including <b>SIX</b> of <i>3,000</i> miles or more and, of those, <b>THREE</b> were 4,000 miles or more with <b>TWO</b> eclipsing 6,600 miles apiece. Our longest took us through fifteen U.S. states and four Canadian provinces, covering over <i><u><b>8,500 MILES</b></u></i> in a mere FOURTEEN DAYS! When we finally made it home, I took this shot of our trip odometer:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DqXzCAVt5YA/UjqJn8YgqZI/AAAAAAAAAUA/70hNtF0IQZc/s1600/DSC11613.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DqXzCAVt5YA/UjqJn8YgqZI/AAAAAAAAAUA/70hNtF0IQZc/s320/DSC11613.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">8,583.6 miles--the LONGEST single trip we've ever done!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
That's a total of more than 36,183.6 miles of road tripping completed in only 69 days of driving (a few trips had built in lounging days that had minimal driving to no driving involved so that total reflects the number of days where the majority of the time was spent driving). That means that over the course of those dozen trips we averaged over 524 miles per day or approximately 9-plus hours of driving a day, every day. Amazing that there was nary a stretch that <i>felt</i> that long!<br />
<br />
<br />
We recently completed our first long road trip with our daughter Sarah. It was Timmy's third such trip but also his longest as well. I'm sure if we would have discussed our intentions with people they would have scoffed at us and declared that it couldn't be done. "There's no <i>WAY</i> you're going to fit all of that stuff into that tiny car!" Well, not only did we manage to survive two seventeen hour-plus days of driving (the first and last days of the trek), we also were able to fit the strollers, luggage, souvenirs from Downtown Disney, <i>other</i> souvenirs, and almost two cases' worth of beer for ourselves and our friends back home. Comfortably, I might add.<br />
<br />
Still, though, successful as our trip had been, I had and continue to have the sense that it might very well be our last long one with Echo. Despite our ability to make things worth with the spacial restraints we face with her, it <i>is</i> undeniable that our family is growing and will likely someday outgrow what she can offer. We're already eying a larger vehicle that will likely be purchased next year or the year after. When that time comes to pass, it will make all of the past experiences with Echo all the more special. Despite the suggestions we've been given about trading her in, I have absolutely no intention to do anything other than put Echo on a pedestal when her driving days are done. We wouldn't trade her in or put her down any more than any of <i>you</i> would do the same with your respective pets/family members.<br />
<br />
Her place in our family has been solidified through years of service--long miles up mountains and through deserts, across two countries and back again. Revisiting my earlier maxim that home is where the heart is, I made one important request when I surprised Heather with a customized ornament after we moved in to our first home last year. The ornament was meant to be a miniature representation of the first space that we could truly call our own. Thankfully the artist honored my request as you can see from the picture below.<br />
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<br />The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-35595628869994178992013-04-01T11:20:00.001-04:002014-05-18T14:58:34.326-04:00An Unnecessary Death: Andrea & The Walking DeadI think it's pretty safe to say that Andrea was one of the three least liked characters on AMC's The Walking Dead (the other two being Lori and Carol). I disliked the character strongly and cannot stand the actress playing her to an even greater degree so, much like most of The Walking Dead viewing audience, I wasn't sad to see Andrea go during last night's season finale (even more so after having to sit through Laurie Holden's Talking Dead appearance a few weeks ago). With all of that said, she got a raw deal--one that, in spite of my visceral dislike of the character, I feel was wholly undeserved.<br />
<br />
My general stance with television shows is not to get all up in arms when something seems a bit unbelievable. By their very nature, shows like The Walking Dead, LOST, and Fringe require a certain level of suspension of disbelief on the part of the viewing public. When people start nitpicking or getting caught up in trying to make sense of the minutiae, they are slowly whittling away at the show's foundation and are detracting from the overall enjoyment level that they can attain. Complaining about the fact that there's a polar bear on an island is pretty ridiculous when that same person ISN'T bitching about the island being able to move through space and time or about the countless other esoteric phenomena that comprised the plot of LOST...and yet people still did it ROUTINELY.<br />
<br />
Part of the problem as I see it is that we are spoiled to a ridiculous degree in our modern entertainment era. We demand instant gratification (hence the rise to prominence of binge viewing of television shows) and we feel entitled to our opinions. Instead of just discussing television shows the way we once did, we feel compelled--even obligated--to dissect episodes, characters, and plot elements as if we're warranted a spot at the writer's table. The Internet--especially social media websites like Facebook and Twitter--is the biggest contributor to this change as it has engendered a forum for millions of voices to come together simultaneously while offering the illusion that all of these perspectives are equally informed and valued. Newsflash: they're not. <br />
<br />
Pop onto the Facebook page of any popular show--The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad--whatever--and look at the comments that pile in after an episode. Many people champion the great writing and acting but SO many more complain about some stupid, inane aspect that has no bearing on the overall enjoyment factor that the show presents. The problem is that there are A LOT of people like this. Hell, even on <i>this</i> blog I just got a comment from some dope bitching about the fact that I provided directions <i>to</i> the various things to find in Waldo books instead of pictures <i>of</i> said items. The quote in its exact form: "HOW MUCH IS A FRINKING INCH JUST SHOW PICTURES OF WHERE IT IS THATS USEFUL"<br />
<br />
Yes, folks: this is the society that we live in. Don't help me to find something--find it for me, goddamnit!<br />
<br />
But I digress. With so many ridiculous comments about unnecessary details, sometimes the bigger picture is overlooked. I'm someone who specifically avoids criticizing television shows that I enjoy because, if I really love the show, then I invariably buy into it full steam ahead. I believe in the writers' abilities and the creators' vision and want to see where both will ultimately take the show. It's why I loved everything about LOST, Fringe, Firefly, hell--even Dawson's Creek back in the day! So for <i>ME</i> to be bothered by something says (at least to me) that it was pretty egregious.<br />
<br />
Enter Andrea's death. Ordinarily, I won't question the decision to kill off a main character even if the reason isn't made immediately apparent. Shane's death served its purpose and was hinted at for the better part of two seasons. Even Sophia's death--arguably the worst, most boring build up ever--was shocking in a way (most likely the way it was ultimately revealed) and, again, it served a higher purpose. Ditto for Dale's--a point that became even more salient in light of Carl's behavior last night. He must be rolling in his grave at the lack of humanity in that boy.<br />
<br />
Did Andrea deserve to die? Honestly, I'd say that she didn't. It's not so much about her noble intentions as it is the fact that, as a major character, she really wasn't all that major (like Shane). If the writers were trying to tug at the heartstrings of the viewers (like with Sophia/Carol) then they failed miserably AND served to provide overkill since they managed to do so perfectly with the Merle/Daryl scene the week prior. And if her death was meant to be symbolic like Dale's then it fell a little short because I feel like the message was diluted and it didn't need her passing to be expressed; David Morrissey's acting and the way The Governor treated "his own people" sent a FAR more powerful message about the state of humanity in the post-apocalyptic world the characters inhabit than Andrea's "all I wanted to do was help people" parting speech.<br />
<br />
But it's not even so much about the fact that Andrea died as it is about the <i>way</i> she did. This is where I call bullshit on the writers. This girl was one of the most prolific, efficient walker dispatchers on the show! Look at what she did in the forest with Milton when the pair encountered Tyreese for the first time. Ditto for how she handled herself during countless encounters after the farm and, hell, the fact that she even survived the herd attack in the first place!<br />
<br />
See--that's where I have a problem. You have a character survive <i>that</i> many close-calls and overcome seemingly impossible odds and then she dies in a room with <i>one</i> walker while she's armed!? It's such a waste of a strong character. She should've gone down in a flurry of bullets or in hand-to-hand combat with The Governor. Instead, she's left alone with zombie Milton (fucking <i>MILTON!</i>) and we're supposed to believe that he managed to get close enough to her to cause that much damage?<br />
<br />
Maybe Andrea was too busy trying to engage him in conversation that she failed to realize he was gnawing on her shoulder.<br />
<br />
That brings us to bullshit point number two: how long it took her to get out of the chair. This is arguably the <i>worst</i> part of her death--the fact that she was unable to extricate herself quickly enough to avoid her fate. First of all, she stopped trying to pick up the pliers every time Milton spoke to her. Uh--HELLO! MULTITASK, DUMBASS! Move them feet while you move those lips! Secondly, she went about freeing herself with ZERO urgency. ZERO! You have Milton fighting to hold on long enough for her to escape--knowing full well that he's going to turn and will have no control over his actions--and she's dawdling, twiddling her twat between her thumbs while she's shooting the shit with the suddenly tragic hero. Give me a break! She should've been TEARING ASS to get out of that chair. And how long did it take Milton to turn!? If it was like an hour then, <b><i>really</i></b>? She couldn't get out in THAT much time? If it was only a few minutes (as it appeared to be), then why the hell are people turning so quickly!? I know it's varied in terms of how long it takes but come on!<br />
<br />
Finally, the bullshit factor reaches its apex here: Glenn survived while Andrea didn't. I'm not knocking Glenn--he's one of my favorite characters on the show (in the comics he's a bit soft)--but who's killed more walkers? Andrea by a <i>mile</i>. Glenn's clearly got balls of steel with all of the runs he went on (and the fact that he stole a farmer's daughter right out from under the old man's nose!) but he admitted that his motivation for taking those chances wasn't so much bravery as it was an indifference towards death (at least until he met Ma-gaggie). Andrea <i>also</i> suffered from post-apocalyptic ennui but hers was really more straight up PTSD. <i>HER</i> courage came <i>after</i> she overcame her ambivalence towards life. She didn't care whether she lived or died after what happened to her sister but eventually she found something to live for (or at least something to avoid dying for). It was after <i>that</i> that she became a walker killing machine.<br />
<br />
Glenn survived being beaten by Merle and then having a ravenous walker turned loose in the room while he was duct taped to a chair! He not only <i>survived</i> but he absolutely demolished the biter BEFORE freeing himself completely! Andrea had ample time to unshackle herself AND THEN DID while zombie Milton was still shambling across the room! Seriously!? <b><i><u>SERIOUSLY!?</u></i></b> I'm supposed to buy Andrea slipping up in that moment? Give me a break! <br />
<br />
Andrea's death was easily the worst, most unnecessary of the entire series. For all that she went through, she deserved a better end than she got.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-16004452829335844582013-03-07T17:43:00.001-05:002017-02-03T13:30:51.288-05:00WHERE'S WALDO? THE INCREDIBLE PAPER CHASE (BOOK 7) LOCATIONS FOR WALDO, HIS FRIENDS, AND THEIR THINGSThis blog entry will catalogue the locations of the following persons and things in Book # 7 of the American re-released Waldo books called "WHERE'S WALDO? THE INCREDIBLE PAPER CHASE" It is the book seen here:<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Incredible-Paper-Chase/dp/076364725X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362696110&sr=8-1&keywords=the+incredible+paper+chase">http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Incredible-Paper-Chase/dp/076364725X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362696110&sr=8-1&keywords=the+incredible+paper+chase</a><br />
<br />
<br />
The format will be to list the page, its descriptor, and then each of the following with their respective locations:<br />
<br />
WALDO<br />
WENDA<br />
ODLAW<br />
WIZARD WHITEBEARD (WIZARD)<br />
WOOF<br />
SCROLL<br />
BONE<br />
KEY<br />
CAMERA<br />
BINOCULARS<br />
PAPER<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions are as accurate as possible but please allow some leeway when it comes to the cardinal direction that you will be following. In other words, WNW might actually be NNW if you were following it exactly; the directions were my best guesses without actually using a compass.<br />
<br />
Please note the following legend that will be used in this entry:<br />
<br />
BLURB (refers to the Paper that appears on the upper-left corner of every left page)<br />
N, S, E, W (refer to North, South, East, West)<br />
LLC/LRC (refer to Lower Left Corner and Lower Right Corner)<br />
ULC/URC (refer to Upper Left Corner and Upper Right Corner)<br />
LPG (left page)<br />
RPG or RTPG (right page)<br />
BCE/TCE (refer to Bottom Center Edge or Top Center Edge of page. Go along the respective edge to the middle of the page.)<br />
Crease (the crease that separates the left and right pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>And if you happen to be interested in supernatural thrillers and speculative fiction please check out my official website </i><i>here: <a href="http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/">http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/</a>. You can find my debut novels, The Lion in the Desert and The Walking Ghosts on Amazon.com at the following links:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1533644128">The Lion In The Desert</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540468917">The Walking Ghosts</a></i><br />
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WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.75in
ESE of URC of BLURB</div>
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WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.75in
NNE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.5in
SW of WIZARD (right of tower)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
W of RCE of RPG (left of round tower)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
NNW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
SSW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5.25in
N of WOOF (on round table)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
W of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
N of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
NW of ODLAW (atop tower stone)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGES 3&4 – THE
JURASSIC GAMES<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.5in
N of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
NE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
E, slightly S of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
N, 0.5in E of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
W, 0.5in N of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
SSE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4.5in
NNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
SSE of BONE (hard to spot)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
E, slightly N of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
SE of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
ENE of CAMERA (on yellow dinosaur’s back)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGES 5&6 –
PICTURE THIS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>7.5in
W of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
SW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
SW of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
WNW of RCE OF RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
NNE of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">CREASE</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">CENTER</st1:placetype></st1:place></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.25in S of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
SSW of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.75in
ESE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
S of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGE 7 – THE GREAT
RETREAT</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
WSW of URC of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4in NE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
SSW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
NNW of LRC of PGf</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
E, slightly N of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NNE of LLC of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
SSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
ENE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
NNW of LRC of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
W of RCE of PG (right of the monster’s spikes)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.75in
ESE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGE 8 – WHAT A DOG
FIGHT!</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
ENE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
E of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
N of WIZARD’S STAFF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
ENE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
E of WIZARD’S STAFF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.5in
N, 0.75in E of LLC of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
SSW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
ESE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
WNW of RCE of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
S of PAPER</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
SSW of URC of PG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGES 9&10 – THE BEAT
OF THE DRUMS</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
SSE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25
ESE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
ENE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
ENE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
ESE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
SSW of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
W, 0.5in S of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
SSE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
NNE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.25in
ENE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGES 11&12 – THE
GREAT ESCAPE</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NE of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">CREASE</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">CENTER</st1:placetype></st1:place></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.25in
ESE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
NE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
S of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
S, slightly W of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
N of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
WNW of RCE of RPG (NNW of yellow balloon being popped)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
E of WIZARD (on hedge)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.5in
W, 0.75in S of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">PAGES 13&14 – THE
ENORMOUS PARTY</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NNE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.5in
ENE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
S, slightly E of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NNW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
NE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
N of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.25in
NW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
S of PAPER</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
WNW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
NE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PAPER<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
W of WALDO’S HEAD</div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-88958909923797843392013-03-07T00:28:00.000-05:002017-02-03T13:31:01.115-05:00WHERE'S WALDO? THE GREAT PICTURE HUNT! (BOOK 6) LOCATIONS FOR WALDO, HIS FRIENDS, AND THEIR THINGSThis blog entry will catalogue the locations of the following persons and things in Book # 6 of the American re-released Waldo books called "WHERE'S WALDO? THE GREAT PICTURE HUNT!" It is the book seen here:<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Great-Picture-Hunt/dp/0763642150/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362633962&sr=1-3&keywords=the+great+picture+hunt">http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Great-Picture-Hunt/dp/0763642150/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362633962&sr=1-3&keywords=the+great+picture+hunt</a><br />
<br />
<br />
The format will be to list the page, its descriptor, and then each of the following with their respective locations:<br />
<br />
WALDO<br />
WENDA<br />
ODLAW<br />
WIZARD WHITEBEARD (WIZARD)<br />
WOOF<br />
SCROLL<br />
BONE<br />
KEY<br />
CAMERA<br />
BINOCULARS<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions are as accurate as possible but please allow some leeway when it comes to the cardinal direction that you will be following. In other words, WNW might actually be NNW if you were following it exactly; the directions were my best guesses without actually using a compass.<br />
<br />
Please note the following legend that will be used in this entry:<br />
<br />
BLURB (refers to the Text that appears on the upper-left corner of every left page)<br />
N, S, E, W (refer to North, South, East, West)<br />
LLC/LRC (refer to Lower Left Corner and Lower Right Corner)<br />
ULC/URC (refer to Upper Left Corner and Upper Right Corner)<br />
LPG (left page)<br />
RPG or RTPG (right page)<br />
BCE/TCE (refer to Bottom Center Edge or Top Center Edge of page. Go along the respective edge to the middle of the page.)<br />
Crease (the crease that separates the left and right pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>If you have any questions about the location of a particular character/item or if you found this to be a useful resource, please drop a comment and let me know!</i><br />
<br />
<i>And if you happen to be interested in supernatural thrillers and speculative fiction please check out my official website </i><i>here: <a href="http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/">http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/</a>. You can find my debut novels, The Lion in the Desert and The Walking Ghosts on Amazon.com at the following links:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1533644128">The Lion In The Desert</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540468917">The Walking Ghosts</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>EXHIBIT 1 – ODLAW’S PICTURE PANDEMONIUM</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
E of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
E, 3.5in N of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4.5in
ENE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
SE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
ESE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
ENE of WOOF (on ledge)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3in
W of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 2 – A SPORTING LIFE</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
ENE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
NE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
N of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
N of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
WNW of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
NW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
ENE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NE of RCE of <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">BLURB CIRCLE</st1:address></st1:street></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
NNW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBITS 3 & 4 – BROWN SAILORS & GREEN SCALERS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
SW of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NE of WOOF (near edge of picture)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NNW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
NE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
N, slightly W of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
SW of ODLAW (partially obscured)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
W, slightly S of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
NNE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
NE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 5 – THE PINK <st1:place w:st="on">PARADISE</st1:place>
PARTY</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NW of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>0.75in NW of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
SSW of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
ENE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
E, 0.5in N of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5.25in
NNW of LRC of RPG (near yellow dress)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
NW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.25in
N, slightly W of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 6 – OLD FRIENDS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
NNE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
SSE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
N, 0.75in E of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NNW of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
N of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ENE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.75in
S, slightly E of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NNE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
NNE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
W of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 7 – OLD FRIENDS AGAIN</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NE of LLC</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of CAMERA (only hat visible)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
W of ODLAW (only hat visible)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>LRC
of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
E of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
E of SCROLL (partially obscured)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
E of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
W of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
SSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 8 – THE MONSTER MASTERPIECE</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
SSW of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
E of LCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
E of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
ESE of URC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
N, 1.5in W of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
N, slightly W of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
SE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
NW of LRC of RPG (between soldier’s legs)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.25in
SW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBITS 9 & 10 – WALDOWORLD</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>SW
of end of WIZARD’s BEARD (2.25in SE of BONE)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
S, 1in W of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
W of RCE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
SW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
SSE of URC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.75in
SSE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
E, slightly S of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
S, slightly E of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>E
of ODLAW’S FEET</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
E, slightly N of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 11 – PIRATE PANORAMA</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
WNW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
E of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
ENE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
E, slightly S of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
SE of KEY (on front of boat)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>7in
E, slightly S of SCROLL (with fish in boat)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.25in
S, 0.5in E of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
E, slightly S of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3in
SSW of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>EXHIBIT 12 – THE GREAT PORTRAIT EXHIBITION</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
E, slightly N of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
N, slightly E of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.25in
NE of LLC of LPG (peeking out from behind horse painting)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
W, slightly N of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
WNW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NE of CREASE CENTER (under elbow of woman in red shirt)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>6in
E, slightly N of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NNW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.25in
SSE of BONE</div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-69950814870383655652013-03-05T23:50:00.002-05:002017-02-03T13:31:05.332-05:00WHERE'S WALDO? THE WONDER BOOK (BOOK 5) LOCATIONS FOR WALDO, HIS FRIENDS, AND THEIR THINGSThis blog entry will catalogue the locations of the following persons and things in Book # 5 of the American re-released Waldo books called "WHERE'S WALDO? THE WONDER BOOK" It is the book seen here:<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-The-Wonder-Book/dp/0763635022/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362545256&sr=8-1&keywords=waldo+wonder+book">http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-The-Wonder-Book/dp/0763635022/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362545256&sr=8-1&keywords=waldo+wonder+book</a><br />
<br />
<br />
The format will be to list the page, its descriptor, and then each of the following with their respective locations:<br />
<br />
WALDO<br />
WENDA<br />
ODLAW<br />
WIZARD WHITEBEARD (WIZARD)<br />
WOOF<br />
SCROLL<br />
BONE<br />
KEY<br />
CAMERA<br />
BINOCULARS<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions are as accurate as possible but please allow some leeway when it comes to the cardinal direction that you will be following. In other words, WNW might actually be NNW if you were following it exactly; the directions were my best guesses without actually using a compass.<br />
<br />
Please note the following legend that will be used in this entry:<br />
<br />
BLURB (refers to the Book that appears on the upper-left corner of every left page)<br />
N, S, E, W (refer to North, South, East, West)<br />
LLC/LRC (refer to Lower Left Corner and Lower Right Corner)<br />
ULC/URC (refer to Upper Left Corner and Upper Right Corner)<br />
LPG (left page)<br />
RPG or RTPG (right page)<br />
BCE/TCE (refer to Bottom Center Edge or Top Center Edge of page. Go along the respective edge to the middle of the page.)<br />
Crease (the crease that separates the left and right pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>If you have any questions about the location of a particular character/item or if you found this to be a useful resource, please drop a comment and let me know!</i><br />
<br />
<i>And if you happen to be interested in supernatural thrillers and speculative fiction please check out my official website </i><i>here: <a href="http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/">http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/</a>. You can find my debut novels, The Lion in the Desert and The Walking Ghosts on Amazon.com at the following links:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1533644128">The Lion In The Desert</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540468917">The Walking Ghosts</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 1 ONCE UPON A PAGE</b></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
SW of URC of RPG<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
W of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
NE of LRC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
S, 1in E of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
SSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SSW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.75in
NW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5.25in
SW of WIZARD (left of pink book)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.25in
WSW of WALDO (near banana man)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3in
NNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 2 THE MIGHTY FRUIT FIGHT</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
ENE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
W of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
NNE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
N, slightly W of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ESE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4.25in
E, 0.5in N of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
WSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
NNW of WENDA </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
NNE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 3 THE GAME OF GAMES</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
ESE of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SSW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>8.5in W of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
S, 0.5in W of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
SSE of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SSE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
WNW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
N, 0.75in W of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
S, slightly W of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>5in
NE of LRC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 4 TOYS! TOYS! TOYS!</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
WNW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
NE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NNW of RCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NW of ODLAW (near end of tank)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
ENE of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.75in
SE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
ESE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
NE of WOOF (HARD to see on brown floor)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>0.5in
W of LLC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 5 BRIGHT LIGHTS AND NIGHT FRIGHTS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
S, 0.5in E of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
NNE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
NW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
S, 0.75in E of CREASE TOP</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
SSE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NNE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
W of ODLAW (from the top of his hat)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
NE of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
N, 0.75in E of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 6 THE CAKE FACTORY</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
ESE of CREASE TOP</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
S of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5in
S of LLC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
SE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
W of RCE of RPG (between striped poles)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
E, slightly N of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NW of RCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
SW of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 7 THE <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">BATTLE</st1:place></st1:city>
OF THE BANDS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
N, 1in W of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
SSE of LCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
S, 1in E of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NNW of CAMERA (above giant tuba)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
SSW of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
W, slightly S of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>Above
BLURB BOOK (the letter A in the title)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NNW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
E of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">CREASE</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">CENTER</st1:placetype></st1:place></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.25in
NNE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 8 THE <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">ODLAW</st1:placename>
<st1:placetype w:st="on">SWAMP</st1:placetype></st1:place></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
NW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
ESE of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
SSE of WIZARD (on raft)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.75in
S of BCE of BLURB BOOK (bookmark)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.75in
NE of KEY (on monster’s back)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
NE of LLC of LPG (on brown package)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
SSW of SCROLL (on raft)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.25in
SE of TCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 9 CLOWN TOWN</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
W OF CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
SW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SW of RCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
W of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
ESE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
ESE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
NNW of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
NW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>6.5in
N of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>
PAGE 10 THE FANTASTIC FLOWER GARDEN</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NNE of ULC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
SE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5.25in
SE of LRC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>8.5in
N of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
ESE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4.75in
NNE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
ESE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.25in
E, slightly N of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 11 THE CORRIDORS OF TIME</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
E of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">CREASE</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">CENTER</st1:placetype></st1:place></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NNE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
N, 1in E of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>LRC
of BLURB BOOK (right there)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
SSE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1in NNW of WENDA (on floor)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
SSE of SCROLL (on yellow bag)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
ENE of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.25in
E of WALDO’S FEET</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 12 THE <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">LAND</st1:placetype>
OF <st1:placename w:st="on">WOOFS</st1:placename></st1:place></b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
N, 0.5in W of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>7in
WNW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
N, slightly W of toy bus 2.5in NW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
SW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
ENE of ULC of BLURB BOOK</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.75in
SE of CREASE TOP</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
SE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.25in
NE of WALDO</div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-72124365135647914892013-03-03T23:09:00.000-05:002017-02-03T13:31:08.499-05:00WHERE'S WALDO? IN HOLLYWOOD (BOOK 4) LOCATIONS FOR WALDO, HIS FRIENDS, AND THEIR THINGSThis blog entry will catalogue the locations of the following persons and things in Book # 4 of the American re-released Waldo books called "WHERE'S WALDO? IN HOLLYWOOD" It is the book seen here:<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Hollywood-Martin-Handford/dp/0763635014/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362348259&sr=8-1&keywords=waldo+hollywood">http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Hollywood-Martin-Handford/dp/0763635014/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362348259&sr=8-1&keywords=waldo+hollywood</a><br />
<br />
<br />
The format will be to list the page, its descriptor, and then each of the following with their respective locations:<br />
<br />
WALDO<br />
WENDA<br />
ODLAW<br />
WIZARD WHITEBEARD (WIZARD)<br />
WOOF<br />
SCROLL<br />
BONE<br />
KEY<br />
CAMERA<br />
BINOCULARS<br />
FILM<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions are as accurate as possible but please allow some leeway when it comes to the cardinal direction that you will be following. In other words, WNW might actually be NNW if you were following it exactly; the directions were my best guesses without actually using a compass.<br />
<br />
Please note the following legend that will be used in this entry:<br />
<br />
BLURB (refers to the Director's Board that appears on the upper-left corner of every left page)<br />
N, S, E, W (refer to North, South, East, West)<br />
LLC/LRC (refer to Lower Left Corner and Lower Right Corner)<br />
ULC/URC (refer to Upper Left Corner and Upper Right Corner)<br />
LPG (left page)<br />
RPG or RTPG (right page)<br />
BCE/TCE (refer to Bottom Center Edge or Top Center Edge of page. Go along the respective edge to the middle of the page.)<br />
Crease (the crease that separates the left and right pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>If you have any questions about the location of a particular character/item or if you found this to be a useful resource, please drop a comment and let me know!</i><br />
<br />
<i>And if you happen to be interested in supernatural thrillers and speculative fiction please check out my official website </i><i>here: <a href="http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/">http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/</a>. You can find my debut novels, The Lion in the Desert and The Walking Ghosts on Amazon.com at the following links:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1533644128">The Lion In The Desert</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540468917">The Walking Ghosts</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 1 A DREAM COME TRUE</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NNW of LRC of RPG<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
ENE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
ENE of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.25in
N of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
N, slightly W of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
SSW of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>5.5in
W, slightly N of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
NE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>
PAGE 2 SHHH! THIS IS A SILENT MOVIE</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
SSW of BINOCULARS<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
ENE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
N, 1in W of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
N, 0.5in E of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
WNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.25in
N, 0.5in E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NE of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4.5in
NNE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.25in
NW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 3 HORSEPLAY IN <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">TROY</st1:place></st1:city></b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
N of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
E, 0.5in S of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.75in
SE of URC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
NNW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.75in
N, 0.5in W of SCROLL (VERY hard to see)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.75in
W, slightly S of WALDO (VERY hard to see)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
S of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.75in
SSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 4 FUN IN THE FOREIGN LEGION</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SE of LLC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
N, slightly W of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.25in
NW of WENDA (left of ice cream truck)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
ESE of URC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
WNW of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
SW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.75in
S of FILM (below soldier’s hand)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
NW of LRC of RPG (below light blue guy)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
W of RCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.75in
NE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
WSW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 5 A TREMENDOUS SONG AND DANCE</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
N of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
N of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
W of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
WNW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
SW of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.25in
ENE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
ENE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
NW of BINOCULARS (beneath saxophone)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
N of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
N of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.75in
WSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 6 ALI BABA AND THE FORTY THIEVES</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
WSW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SW of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.25in
S, 1.25in E of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
W of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NNW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
WNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
N, 0.5in E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
W of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
NNW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
WNW of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 7 THE WILD, WILD WEST</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
W of RCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SW of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
WNW of BONE (in jail)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NNW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NNW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4in
NE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
N of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 8 THE SWASHBUCKLING MUSKETEERS</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
E of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
N, 0.5in W of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.75in
N of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4in
ENE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
W of WIZARD (his hat)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
N, 0.5in E of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.25in
NE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4.75in
N, 1in E of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
N, slightly W of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 9 DINOSAURS, SPACEMEN, AND GHOULS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
N, slightly E of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
W, slightly S of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
E of LCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NE of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
E of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4.75in
SSE of ODLAW (dressing room table)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
N of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
E of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NNW of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 10 ROBIN HOOD’S MERRY MESS-UP</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NNE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.75in
NNE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SW of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
S of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
ESE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NNW of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.25in
ENE of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
ENE of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
ENE of LRC of BLURB</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 11 WHEN THE STARS COME OUT</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
N of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.75in
NNE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NNW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
E of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.25in
E, slightly N of WIZARD (in white limo)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NNE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
NW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.75in
ESE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in
NE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
NW of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 12 WHERE’S WALDO? THE MUSICAL</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.75in
N, 0.5in W of the top of the WIZARD’s hat (has a bone in hand)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of WOOF (wearing CAMERA)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2<sup>nd</sup>
ODLAW left of CREASE (holding walking stick)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NNE of SCROLL (playing violin)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>4in
NNW of KEY (top of staircase)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.75in
ENE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
W, slightly N of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
NW of FILM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>ON
WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.25in
N, slightly E of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
FILM<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-80744698525685216852013-03-03T17:02:00.000-05:002017-02-03T13:31:11.455-05:00WHERE'S WALDO? THE FANTASTIC JOURNEY (BOOK 3) LOCATIONS FOR WALDO, HIS FRIENDS, AND THEIR THINGSThis blog entry will catalogue the locations of the following persons
and things in Book # 3 of the American re-released Waldo books called
"WHERE'S WALDO? THE FANTASTIC JOURNEY" It is the "YELLOW" covered book seen here:<br />
<br />
http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-The-Fantastic-Journey/dp/0763635006/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362257537&sr=8-1&keywords=waldo+fantastic+journey<br />
<br />
The format will be to list the page, its descriptor, and then each of the following with their respective locations:<br />
<br />
WALDO<br />
WENDA<br />
ODLAW<br />
WIZARD WHITEBEARD (WIZARD)<br />
WOOF<br />
SCROLL<br />
BONE<br />
KEY<br />
CAMERA<br />
BINOCULARS<br />
<br />
<br />
Directions
are as accurate as possible but please allow some leeway when it comes
to the cardinal direction that you will be following. In other words,
WNW might actually be NNW if you were following it exactly; the
directions were my best guesses without actually using a compass.<br />
<br />
Please note the following legend that will be used in this entry:<br />
<br />
BLURB SCROLL (refers to the Scroll that appears on the upper-left corner of every left page)<br />
N, S, E, W (refer to North, South, East, West)<br />
LLC/LRC (refer to Lower Left Corner and Lower Right Corner)<br />
ULC/URC (refer to Upper Left Corner and Upper Right Corner)<br />
LPG (left page)<br />
RPG or RTPG (right page)<br />
BCE/TCE (refer to Bottom Center Edge or Top Center Edge of page. Go along the respective edge to the middle of the page.)<br />
Crease (the crease that separates the left and right pages)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>If
you have any questions about the location of a particular
character/item or if you found this to be a useful resource, please drop
a comment and let me know!</i><br />
<br />
<i>And if you happen to be interested in supernatural thrillers and speculative fiction please check out my official website </i><i>here: <a href="http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/">http://www.matthewjohnbenecke.com/</a>. You can find my debut novels, The Lion in the Desert and The Walking Ghosts on Amazon.com at the following links:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1533644128">The Lion In The Desert</a></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540468917">The Walking Ghosts</a></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 1 THE GOBBLING GLUTTONS</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
N of SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
W of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
S of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
NE of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
NW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
N of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
W of WIZARD's face</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
S of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4in
N of top of WIZARD's staff</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 2 THE BATTLING MONKS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
NNE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
N, 1.5in E of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
NW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
NNE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
GREEN SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1in
ESE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
WNW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.5in
NNW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.75in
NE of BOTTOM OF CREASE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.25in
N of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 3 THE CARPET FLYERS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
E, 3in N of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
ENE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
ESE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
E of LRC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
NE of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BLUE SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4.25in
E, slightly S of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
WNW of WOOF (on stairs)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
NNW of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
W, 1.5in N of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1in
ESE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b>PAGE 4 THE GREAT BALLGAME PLAYERS</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
N, 0.5in E of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
S, 0.5in E of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
N of BCE of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SSE of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
S of LLC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PINK SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1in
S of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
E of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
SE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
NE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1in
S of LRC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 5 THE FEROCIOUS RED DWARFS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
SE of TOP OF CREASE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
S, 0.75in W of URC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
E, 1in S of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
ENE of YELLOW SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
SW of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
YELLOW SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2in S,
0.75in W of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
SW of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
S, 0.25in E of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
SE of LLC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>5in
S, 0.75in E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 6 THE NASTY NASTIES</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
N, slightly W of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
NE of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
SSW of BONE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BROWN SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.5in W
of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
E, slightly S of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.5in
W of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1.5in
S, slightly E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4in
NW of LRC of RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 7 THE FIGHTING FORESTERS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NNW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
NNW of BOTTOM of CREASE</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
SSW of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>6.5in
E of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
NNE of <st1:place w:st="on">ORANGE</st1:place> SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ORANGE SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in NE
of LLC of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
E, slightly S of ORANGE SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.25in
NNE of CAMERA (on stone)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.25in
ESE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>1.5in
SW of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 8 THE DEEP-SEA DIVERS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3in
ENE of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4in
E, 0.5in S of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>0.5in
E of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">BLURB</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st="on">SCROLL</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">CENTER</st1:placetype></st1:place></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
E, slightly N of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3.5in
SE of WIZARD (hanging over side of boat)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
PURPLE SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2.75in
SW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>0.75in
S of WIZARD</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2.5in
E, 0.5in S of PURPLE SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>1in
NNE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.5in
NNW of BCE of LPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>
PAGE 9 THE KNIGHTS OF THE MAGIC FLAG</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
SE of KEY</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5in
NW of LRC OF RPG</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
WSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>3.5in
E of URC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> 2</span>in
NW of BINOCULARS</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
SILVER SCROLL<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>4.5in
W, 0.75in S of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BONE<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1in
ENE of WOOF</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>1.25in
SSE of LLC of BLURB SCROLL</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
CAMERA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
SSE of WALDO</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BINOCULARS<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>3.5in
N of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<b>PAGE 10 THE UNFRIENDLY GIANTS</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WALDO<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>4.5in
W, 1in N of CAMERA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WENDA<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2.5in
NE of ODLAW</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
ODLAW<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>2in
ENE of CREASE BOTTOM</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WIZARD<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>5.25in
E, slightly N of WENDA</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WOOF<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>3in
WSW of WALDO</div>
<br />
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KEY<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>2in
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<b>PAGE 11 THE UNDERGROUND HUNTERS</b><br />
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<b>PAGE 12 THE <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">LAND</st1:placetype>
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The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-8865891875482717852013-02-21T14:15:00.001-05:002013-02-21T14:16:08.431-05:00The Evanescence of Self-ValueIt's funny--I get really pissed off when I hear about certain instances of "bullying"--instances in which kids are told that their designer jeans aren't designer enough--that their haircuts look funny. See--that's not bullying: that's kids being mean; hell, that's just kids being kids. They're driven by different parts of the brains by adults--they see the world differently. And so, from time to time, kids can be cruel.<br />
<br />
But that's not bullying.<br />
<br />
See, bullying is chronic. It's not a cold that goes away after a week--it's mono--something that you wake up with day after day for months on end. It's polio--something that lingers, even after you've beaten it like a limp in your psyche.<br />
<br />
Bullying is fear--the propagation of terror from one person incapable of empathizing to someone perceived to be weaker, less significant. Bullying is having the idea that you are not good enough shoved repeatedly down your throat by the echoing laughter of a group of people that you just KNOW will peak in high school and yet, it does nothing to stem the tide of insecurity--the feelings of insignificance.<br />
<br />
I remember a conversation I had with a girl in college. We had gone to high school together--neither of us in the upper echelon of popularity but both far from the bottom. Whenever I'd do poorly on a test or have an outwardly shitty day, she'd rejoice and rub my nose in it until finally, one day at Baruch, I had had enough. I got tired of being told that, "it's great to see you fail/have things go wrong in your life--to see that you're NOT perfect." Apparently, doing well on some tests and keeping my mouth shut about the shit going on in my heart, in my head, and in my home made me seem infallible. And so I emailed her--laid it all out on the table. "You remember that day when? Yeah, well THIS is what happened the night before/that morning."<br />
<br />
She was shocked--said she had no idea. But no one ever does, right? And isn't that part of the problem anyway? No one takes the time to ask--"Hey, are you okay?" to the people who need it most.<br />
<br />
Junior high was three of the worst years of my life. I was forced out of my comfort zone and the security of elementary school into something I wasn't prepared for. During that time, I was the nerd, the fat kid, the skinny kid, the tall, goofy kid, the poor kid with Payless sneakers, the pimple-faced kid. I went from having a bunch of friends to having my own cousin joining in the torrent of taunts barely a few weeks into school--tossing me aside so that he could be perceived as "one of the cool kids."<br />
<br />
Survival of the fittest, am I right?<br />
<br />
It's easy for me to sit here in judgment of those instances of so-called bullying because I went through the real deal--the daily fusillade of cracks and comments...and came out the other side. There's something to be said for sticking it out--for finding a way to deal with the abuse rather than to run away from it. Then again, it's easy for me to say that because I HAD a support network. I had two parents who saw value in me--who nursed my wounds and helped me to develop the coping skills necessary not simply to overcome such adversity but to thrive in spite of it. More importantly, perhaps, I had best friends like James and Ricky--guys who got varying degrees of their own shit but who were ports in the proverbial storm for me. Shit might have sucked at school, or at home, but when I was hanging out with them, none of it mattered. <br />
<br />
From those relationships, I developed self-confidence and self-worth. I spent most of my freshman year in quiet shyness--deciding finally that I didn't want to BE that way anymore only after I met Bobby. I saw him as the "cool" kid but came to realize that we were more alike than I thought. In fact, we felt the same about a lot of things and had gone through or were going through much of the same shit. Together, we forged a bond in high school that helped me to become the person that I am today. By sophomore year, I began shedding the shyness--had developed enough of a game that I was able to identify as a basketball player--one who was now routinely destroying the same kids that had picked on me years earlier. Making THEM look like fools was great and I derived probably a bit too much satisfaction from it. I developed a reputation, began earning respect, and slowly transformed from a wallflower into the guy who always has a joke--from the one who hated raising his hand to answer a question to the one who introduced a New York Times best selling author to an audience of more than five hundred people that included some of the most prestigious members of his alma mater.<br />
<br />
The thing that surprises me most, though, is perhaps something that shouldn't surprise me at all. Numerous times throughout the past few years, I've seen admissions by friends that they were hurting--that they had gone through the SAME THINGS THAT I DID despite the fact that, to me, they had seemed untouchable in junior high or high school. Guys that I thought had NEVER encountered a single taunt or threat had gotten their fair share--from the SAME tormentors as me in some cases. I say I shouldn't be surprised though because of experiences like the one I had at Baruch with my friend from high school. Ultimately, you just never know who faced social adversity or, more importantly, the impact that it had on them.<br />
<br />
That's the worst part of bullying--the lingering impact that sometimes never goes away. Beautiful people who had the idea that they were ugly driven into their head the way mathematics tables were memorized back in the day--people who, throughout their adulthood, simply can't shake the notion that they're somehow less than. For me, I never bought into most of it. I didn't CARE that I was being taunted for being smart because I knew that it was something good--something that I benefitted from and would benefit from in the long run. I saw other kids--nerds or kids picked on for their appearance--crack and try to assimilate. They did poorly on exams or began acting up in school--they changed the way they dressed to look more like the ruling junta and were STILL ridiculed. I realized that it would never pay off to seek the approval of the bullies because they'd never give it--and, more importantly, that it was never worth receiving in the first place.<br />
<br />
Still, it's those vestiges of the past--the echoes that still resound in our hearts and minds from days of lesser confidence--that remind us that, at some point, we were the weak ones. For the most part, I draw confidence from those recollections but there are still aspects of my life that will likely remain forever changed. Junior year of high school was the first time that I saved up money to by a pair of Nikes. For YEARS I refused to wear anything BUT the Swoosh until I finally realized what a joke it was. I convinced myself that it was about better quality but it wasn't--it was about being tired of getting ripped for the pairs of Champion or Rawlings sneakers that I wore as a kid. It was hard just buying a pair of New Balance running shoes even though I KNEW they were a solid brand.<br />
<br />
The worst of it is the fact that, to this day, I still hate the two most egregious assholes from those junior high days. I can't even remember a single instance that involves them specifically--something that might seem encouraging but strikes me ultimately as disconcerting; it makes me wonder how bad it was that I probably bottled it up tightly enough to make it seem like it's not there anymore when, in fact, it's just dormant like a sleeping dragon. I know it had to have been bad though because I remember finding out that one of the guys was involved in a car accident in high school and I was genuinely disappointed that he managed to walk out of it. Anyone who knows me know that I don't carry around hate in my heart--hell, that I generally ABHOR any sort of discord in my personal relationships--but with those two guys? I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.<br />
<br />
I'm one of the lucky ones. I became well-adjusted and moved on from my experiences, able even to engage in civil social interaction with some of the worst offenders that I encountered again in college or later in life. It's taken me a very long time but I've even become friends with a lot of the people that I grew up with. Part of my problem as a kid was that I just never clicked with the majority of the people I went to school with. I'm not sure what THEY thought of ME but I know that it was pretty clear by the time I started junior high that I wasn't on the same page as them. While a lot of those kids were going to parties, drinking, and smoking weed at the park, I was riding my bike, playing basketball, or playing video games mostly by myself. I always felt like I was perceived as being snobbish because I refused to do the things that damn near everyone else was doing but, even then, I adhered tightly to MY moral compass. I'm sure the bulk of people from the beach who might read this fit into that category--attended keg parties in the weeds, sparked up at each other's houses, and did what teenagers do. At the time, it bothered the hell out of me--probably because I felt ostracized for not wanting to go with the flow--but ultimately, I think that a lot of the bullshit that I got from kids in the neighborhood stemmed more from misunderstanding than anything else. Again, basketball played a key role in mitigating the flak because, though I never partook in any of the booze/drugs that were going around the park, I WAS there playing ball and, at least on the court, we were all on equal footing.<br />
<br />
There will ALWAYS be bullying because it is inherently human to think in terms of differences. If only two people were left alive after some unimaginable cataclysm, the odds are that they would find a way to thrive together--relying on each other for survival...but if there were THREE? Sooner or later, it would break into a two-against-one type of situation. That's just how it goes--ESPECIALLY in school and especially growing up. The key to dealing with it is never giving up--knowing that, SOMEDAY, you'll look back on it and think, "Man...I made it THROUGH that." It's critical to offer support but adults--especially parents--have to realize that it goes only so far. Ultimately, in order to make it through relatively unscathed--you need to find a fellow lost soul along the way--a kindred spirit united inexorably in the pain that you both share.<br />
<br />
As a parent myself, I dread the coming of tear-stained school pick ups--those moments where I'll want nothing more than to rip the throat out of the kid that made MY kid cry...but I won't. I CAN'T. That's just not how it works. Taking your kid out of public school and putting them into private school or homeschooling them just tells the child that they're not strong enough to handle it--that there are safer places and the key to survival is running until you find one. As much as it kills me to think of the fact that my daughter will probably get picked on for having red hair, my son for being left-handed, BOTH of them for their ethnically diverse gene pool, I understand that it's my job to HELP them in their personal journeys--not to take over the wheel and steer them away from things in the water that will dent and ding their respective ships; if I did, I'd be doing them a disservice. What I WILL do is to help them to develop a proper perspective on things the way MY parents did--my mom, especially. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff--can I get an AMEN!?<br />
<br />
Not everyone is as lucky as me and, when it comes down to it, I think THAT'S really the point where bullying comes into play. EVERYONE deals with it but not everyone CAN deal with it--you feel me? It's those kids--the ones who are floating through life, hanging on barely by the thread that keeps them tethered to this world--who need the most reassurance--who need to feel loved and reminded that they ARE valuable and valued. <br />
<br />
Because they are.<br />
<br />
And so are <em>you</em>.<br />
<br />
(The following is an awesome video my buddy Frank shared on Facebook. Scope it out--you'll probably relate to it at least on some level.)<br />
<a href="http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called-him-pork-chop-he-took-that-pain-with-him-and-then-cooked-it-into?g=2">http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called-him-pork-chop-he-took-that-pain-with-him-and-then-cooked-it-into?g=2</a>The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-7418351422172641932012-12-31T13:28:00.000-05:002012-12-31T13:49:43.794-05:002012It's humbling to see so many Facebook statuses about how 2012 was the worst year ever when, for me, it was easily the greatest year of my life. It certainly wasn't without its low points but the high ones were so high that they all but eradicated their counterpoints. In some ways, a few of my worst fears were realized in 2012: I had my first severe anxiety relapse in almost six years; Heather and I had arguably the single nastiest fight of our ten years together; my son endured not one but two health scares, one of which had us in the hospital for the second time in seven months (the first being back in 2011); and I saw my neighborhood--the place where I grew up, where my father grew up and HIS father--eighty years of Benecke history brought to its knees because of a freak weather phenomenon. <br />
<br />
In all of these things, though, I found something positive--some new strength that hadn't been there before: I had lived in fear for years of dealing with anxiety again because it nearly took my life and so, when it finally came around again, I was at first fearful...but I found something commingling with that terror--something that wasn't there in the past: defiance. Indignation of a sort--a haughty disgust with the fact that this thing was trying to control me. This time around, I decided to take control of the situation and I navigated my way through the dark waters on my own...and came out unscathed on the other side. <br />
<br />
From this, I garnered strength and confidence.<br />
<br />
My fight with my wife was over something stupid and was meaningless in the landscape of our relationship but, because it happened in front of our son, it brought about the realization of a fear that I've had since <em>I</em> was a child. Some of the worst moments of my childhood involved my parents fighting and I swore to myself that I would never treat <em>my</em> wife that way, especially not in front of or in earshot of my children. That day in the car though, with me screaming at Heather, her screaming at me, and Timmy screaming at both of us, I felt the terror that nearly every adult feels in similar moments: I was afraid that I was becoming my father (and <em>his</em> father and so on). In an instant, everything that I had worked towards--every Benecke male trait that I had tried to change, every moment of anger and rage quelled--seemed meaningless: wasted. In a way, I felt like Bruce Banner fighting back the beast within him only instead of a Hulk of unimaginable strength taking over, it was shame and defeat. <br />
<br />
Then, through the haze, my wife's voice appeared: "You are <u>not</u> like him." Magically, the fight ended and the conversation shifted. I realized for the first time that she was right--that what I was feeling was <em>what everyone else felt</em>. It didn't make me like my father: it made me <u>human</u>.<br />
<br />
From this, I found hope and redemption.<br />
<br />
My son's health scares began October 29th, 2011--the night of the "Snowpocalypse." We had been sitting with candles lit as the storm raged outside, having already knocked the power out. We played cards at the table while he sat with us, going first from one parent and then to the other. He seemed uncharacteristically warm and listless and so we thought he might be coming down with something. He fell asleep on Heather and so we figured that we'd let him rest, especially since it seemed like he needed it. I went downstairs to use the bathroom and, barely a few minutes later, I heard her coming down the stairs; I knew right away that something was wrong. He had suddenly started convulsing and was completely unresponsive. To make a long story short, we called an ambulance and he and Heather headed off to the hospital while I drove myself over in our car; I will never forget that drive for as long as I live. Saying nothing for the ice, snow, tree branches, and power lines that were scattered across the road like an expert difficulty level in a racing game nor for the traffic lights that were out at every intersection along Victory Boulevard, I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life. I've had more than a few terrifying moments that ran the gamut from a fear of going crazy to losing our brakes coming down a 14,000 foot mountain in Colorado but there was no question: it was <u>the<em> single</em></u> scariest night of my life.<br />
<br />
Fast-forward to the Friday before Mother's Day weekend. An eerie recurrence of circumstances occurred: the power was inexplicably out two days before a holiday and Timmy had been sick. Needless to say, that morning, my spider sense went off and I woke up, rolled over, and found him seizing next to me. Once more, we called an ambulance and spent a few harrowing hours at the hospital. <em>This </em>time, though, I faced a different sort of terror: that of the hospital/medical system. During the first episode, we found out that he was susceptible to febrial seizures and had more people checking in on us than I can count; in short, it was the ideal hospital trip. The second time--the one earlier this year--was almost equally but oppositely bad. Tim had been sick and had obviously had a fever at the time of his seizure. We put him in a cold bath--too cold, as I would come to realize--in an attempt to lower his temperature. Perhaps because of this or maybe just poor technique, when we arrived at the hospital, someone took Timmy's temperature. It was something ridiculous like 96 degrees. I pointed out to the woman that this was ludicrous and that he had been feverish prior to leaving the house and thus requested a second temperature. She blew me off and said that we would have to wait an hour before they would take it again. When it WAS taken, it was slightly over 100. Because this still wasn't technically a fever, the nurse didn't want to listen to me when I told her that it was another febrial seizure; I know that's ironic--me telling a medical professional what was what, but sometimes common sense trumps technical knowledge. Needless to say, she was saying that they were going to have to admit Timmy and set him up with blood tests, a CAT scan, and possibly an MRI. I knew that it was insane and managed to talk her down and request another temperature reading in a half an hour based upon the facts that a) he would have been almost hypothermic if his temperature really HAD been 96 degrees despite the fact that his lips weren't blue/purple and he didn't feel cold at all and b) if it <em>HAD</em> been 96 degrees then that meant his body temperature had risen almost <strong><em><u>five full degrees</u></em></strong> in barely an hour.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, thirty minutes later, his temperature was nearly 102 degrees, the tests were called off, anti-fever medication was administered, and, a few hours beyond <em>that</em>, we were on our way home. What I learned from that experience was invaluable because, had we simply stood back and let the "process" handle itself, we likely would have had one very traumatized child on our hands.<br />
<br />
From that, I learned to trust my instincts where my child is concerned.<br />
<br />
The one unifying characteristic of these negative events sums up the theme of 2012 for me: taking control. In all three instances, I took control of a situation that I had initially led myself to believe was beyond my ability to influence and I culled something positive out of it while simultaneously asserting myself; after all, <strong><em><u>I</u></em></strong> am the master of my fate--the captain of my soul.<br />
<br />
That was easily the biggest change that I saw in myself. Don't get me wrong--I've always been a take-charge type of person but with certain situations or circumstances, I would clam up--try to ride it out or turn a blind eye in an attempt to hope that it would take care of itself. Somewhere along the way in 2012, though, I realized that that was simply no way to live. We get one crack at life for all we know but certainly one shot at <em>this</em> one...and isn't <em>this</em> the one that matters? Of course it is! It's the only thing we can be 100% certain of because <em><u>we are here <strong>now</strong></u></em>. I decided that it wasn't worth wasting another <em>second</em> on anything that detracted from my enjoyment of my life. <br />
<br />
<strong>If it no longer worked for me then I changed it.</strong><br />
<br />
If there's only one thing worth repeating it's that: we are all in control of our <em>own</em> lives. You know what the biggest consequence of that is? That it means we are also <em>responsible</em> for everything in our lives. I know I'm good and goddamned tired of hearing people bitch about the things they can easily change but I've also come to realize that, in a manner of speaking, these same people are avoiding the <em>shit</em> out of that responsibility. They're either too afraid or unwilling to take the helm and would rather allow themselves to be controlled by whatever it is that seems to torture them so.<br />
<br />
Your mother/father/brother/sister/friend/etc. bring you nothing but pain? Then cut them out! If you had a growth on your body that caused you physical pain would you keep picking at it and then turning away or would you go and get it removed? Exactly.<br />
<br />
You hate your job/career? Then find a new one! "There are no jobs out there." Then plot an exit route for when there <em>are</em> jobs--just stop being so goddamn miserable!<br />
<br />
You hate where you're at in your life? Well complaining about it certainly hasn't gotten anything accomplished, now has it? Take a good long <em>critical</em> look at yourself, figure out what's wrong, and FIX IT.<br />
<br />
Now, in many instances, the things that are causing us pain are <em>circumstances</em> rather than life elements--in other words, things <em>beyond</em> our control. The most obvious of these situations is the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. There are <strong><em><u>still</u></em></strong> people without power and without heat, living in homes that are growing more dangerous each day. <em>Their</em> reality isn't going to change simply because they close their eyes and make it so.<br />
<br />
Sorry, Chris Rock, but everything <em>didn't</em> get fixed during the concert. Asshole.<br />
<br />
With that said, here's the most important unsolicited advice I can give: none of us can control our circumstances--we can control only our reactions to those environments and life moments. A surprisingly few number of people have done nothing but complain (on Facebook at least) about their lives post-Sandy but there will invariably be the Debbie Downers, the "Why me? <strong><em><u>I</u></em></strong> didn't deserve this!" crowd but, thankfully, their voices are being quieted by the rest who aren't saying anything at all. These are the people too busy rebuilding their lives to stop for a moment and bitch. Sure, <em>everyone</em> is entitled to those moments of weakness--those instances where we feel wholly overwhelmed and unsure of whether or not we can even endure whatever it is we face for another second. But there's a hideous beauty in those moments--something that comes, much to my amazement, from <em>another person</em>. Sometimes that's all it takes--a hand on your shoulder from someone who's been there and survived or who's going through the exact same thing as the exact same time that <em>you</em> are. It serves as a reminder that suffering is temporary, as long as that time period might seem. While we were enduring Sandy, there were people lounging on beaches throughout the tropics, sipping on colorful drinks with tiny umbrellas sticking out of them; there are <em>still</em> people doing that while <em>here</em>, the reality is what it is. <br />
<br />
The point is that circumstances change and we are rarely an influence over the speed or timing with which that happens. Control what you can and fuck everything and everyone else. Keep one foot in front of the other and never, <strong><em><u>not ever</u></em></strong> think that you can't come through the other side of whatever it is that you're going through a better person--a <u>stronger</u> one. Whether it's my neighbors, friends, and family who are still picking up the pieces after the storm, folks dealing with personal health scares, people who are being held beneath the thumb of some oppressive condition be it professional, romantic, or otherwise, it doesn't matter because the reality is the same: you'll make it through.<br />
<br />
We're all stronger than we think. <br />
<br />
We're all responsible for our reactions to the things in our lives.<br />
<br />
We all have the power to make ourselves happier--to better our situations even when our circumstances seem impossible to overcome.<br />
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Thanks 2012 for helping me figure that out.The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063520057538588347.post-48310650845765426942012-08-31T01:05:00.000-04:002012-08-31T01:05:40.903-04:00Six Things That Piss Me Off When I'm Out Bike RidingSo after a few aggravating episodes whilst out for a bike ride, I decided finally to vent my frustrations here. I mean, what better way to end the month of August than with a little misanthropy, eh? Anyway, below are a few things that people do on bike paths that piss me off and simultaneously make me question the validity of Darwin's postulation about the survival of the fittest (obviously if these people keep seeing sunrises and sunsets, there must be something awry in said theory).<br />
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<u>I. PEOPLE WHO RIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH AND/OR MEANDER CASUALLY FROM SIDE TO SIDE</u><br />
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The last time I checked, there hasn't been a biological holocaust nor has some epic world war wiped out the global population. As such, you, person who rides slowly in the middle of the path, are not the only person left alive. With that said, there is a statistically significant probability that, at some point, SOMEONE ELSE will appear magically behind you and wish to pass. Were you to follow the so-called "rules of the road" (more on that in a moment), then there wouldn't be an issue. Since you're electing to be a douche, however, you force the other rider(s) a) to slow their progress, b) to take evasive defensive riding maneuvers, and c) to shout out to your dumb ass to try to get your attention.<br />
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See, the frustrating part is that there is a logical chain here that would render this issue moot if people only made the synapse connections. Riding a bike is more like a car than walking simply because a) it is a machine and b) you can easily reach speeds that a car can match but not a runner. Ergo, bike riders should follow the same rules of driving. Think of it this way: if a bike path is like a roadway, then you can imagine that the center of said path is just like the double yellow lines on said roadway. I would like to think that most people don't drive along the yellow lines and opt instead to stay to one side (usually the one on the right, at least in the United States). This ensures that you won't collide with other drivers/riders and it renders your progress both safe and predictable (predictability being a requisite part of safe travel whilst driving/riding). Following the "keep right, pass left" imperative that most states employ makes the whole thing even <i>easier </i>because it removes the guesswork on the part of the person looking to pass. If, however, you're listing slowly from one side to the other, you're more like an intoxicated driver, which, by its very nature, is unpredictable (thus increasing the danger factor exponentially).<br />
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Bottom line: stay the fuck to one side!<br />
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<u>II. PEOPLE USING CELL PHONES WHILE RIDING BIKES</u><br />
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I shit you not, the other day I was riding along the Henry Hudson Trail when I saw a kid coming towards me on a bike. He was riding with one hand and with the other he was texting with his face about a foot away from the phone. As he rode, he started to veer right towards me. If I had been able to think more quickly, I would've just moved out of the way and let the fucker crash into a tree but instead I gave him a deep-throated "YO," which, unsurprisingly, startled the shit out of him.<br />
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Seriously? <i>WHILE YOU'RE RIDING A GODDAMN BIKE!?</i> I think it's people like this kid (and the others that I've seen) that make me doubt Darwin the most. I can only pray for some sort of strange malignancy that affects people who text and drive/ride without causing any harm to the rest of us.<br />
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Bottom line: please don't procreate.<br />
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<u>III. PEOPLE WEARING HEADPHONES ON A SHARED PATHWAY/ PEOPLE WHO WALK ON THE WRONG SIDE<br />
</u>I'm all about sharing the path with pedestrians but there's a reason there are designated lanes for pedestrians and for cyclists. I used to HATE riding along the beach in Staten Island because it never failed that people would walk on the wrong path. There's a reason there is an enormous depiction of a person on a bike painted onto the fucking path, assholes! Aside from the fact that, when there is a pedestrian path, it's usually on some sort of walkway/roadway that also has an enormous, undesignated stretch that is unofficially for pedestrians in the first place. So basically, cyclists get approximately three feet of asphalt while walkers get the remaining ninety-plus percent. And then they have the balls to cop an attitude when you chide them for walking in the ONE PLACE SET ASIDE FOR BIKE RIDERS!<br />
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At least with those people, you can call out and let them know that you're behind them. The worst ones are the people wearing headphones (whether they're walking or riding a bike, and particularly on smaller shared paths like the Henry Hudson Trail) because they can't hear you! Invariably, when you pass them, they have this insanely overdramatic reaction of shock and surprise, which is often followed with some sort of expletive or commentary, regardless of how far away you are from them when you pass. Don't get me wrong--I've seen some <i>real</i> pricks who will buzz them as they pass just to drive home the point and, frankly, they're even bigger assholes than the headphone-wearers. <br />
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Bottom line: pay attention to where you're walking!<br />
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<u>IV. PEOPLE WHO WALK/RIDE THREE-WIDE AND TAKE UP THE BULK OF THE PATH</u><br />
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Listen, I get that you're out for a stroll/ride with your friends or family and you're looking to enjoy that camaraderie as you go, but how inconsiderate do you have to be to walk in a goddamn chorus line where you're taking up the entire path so that no one can pass you? There's no reason for it, especially since the third person is probably an unwanted, superfluous wheel who was only invited out of pity in the first place! You're on a shared, public pathway, not some private thoroughfare! It's a bike path, not the goddamn yellow-brick road and you brain dead assholes sure as hell aren't on your way to see the wizard.<br />
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Bottom line: share the road!<br />
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<u>V. PEOPLE WHO STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATHWAY</u><br />
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This one applies mostly to other cyclists but there are plenty of pedestrians who do it too. Why in God's good name do you feel compelled to take a break or to make some sort of pitstop IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH!? Pull the fuck over to the side! I'm a defensive rider in general, which is a good thing because about twenty minutes after I almost got hit by the kid on the cell phone, I reached a blind curve and had my spider sense go off. Two assholes decided to take a break RIGHT around the bend and RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH! One guy's straddling his bike, sipping some water and the other jerkoff has his bike laid down on path and he's sitting next to it! There were grass embankments on BOTH sides!!! UGH!<br />
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Bottom line: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJGST0XNAIg">This.</a><br />
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<u>VI. PEOPLE WITH DOGS THAT AREN'T ON A LEASH</u><br />
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This one is a touchy subject for a lot of people (and by a lot of people, I mean a lot of dog owners) and I have some equally strong views. Let me say right up front that I do <i>not</i> have a problem with dogs. Out of all of the possible pets, dogs are without a doubt my favorite. I've always wanted either a German Shepherd or a Husky, so it's not like I'm one of those "pets are dangerous" people. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that pet <i>owners</i> are the dangerous ones simply because of their arrogance or lack of common sense.<br />
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See, here's the thing: many pet owners seem to assume that everyone else loves animals (or their particular type of animal) or is as comfortable around animals just as much as they do/are. As such, when they leave their dog off of the leash out in public (whatever they do on their own property is their own business, as long as the dog can't get out onto the sidewalk/street), they're assuming that anyone passing by will have a particular, homogenous reaction to their pet. The problem is many-fold but the most salient parts are that a) they assume that they know EXACTLY how that dog is going to react to EVERY SINGLE PERSON that will pass by (thus the aforementioned arrogance) and b) they assume that every person who passes by is comfortable with dogs.<br />
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I can't tell you how many times I've been out for walks with my son in the stroller and I saw a dog off a leash hanging out in someone's unfenced yard. I'd say in more than half of the instances, when we were close enough, that dog suddenly bolted towards us. The owner would yell the dog's name and tell it to get back over there (completely ineffective pack leadership) but by then, the dog would already be near the stroller. Now, for me, I have only one responsibility in this case and that's to protect my son. I don't know your dog and I don't know if (s)he is friendly or not. All I know is that the fucking thing is running towards me and I will have only a split second to decide whether or not I'm kicking it in the teeth (which I would do only if it posed a threat to my son). <br />
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Worse, still, is when we're out and Timmy <i>isn't</i> in a stroller. One day we were walking up the block in Staten Island and these two vicious little dogs were running around while their owner was speaking with another neighbor. I had had them nip at my ankles enough times to assume how they would react (ironic, I know) when we approached. Sure enough, as soon as they spotted Timmy, they shot right towards him. I scooped him up just as they got to within a few feet of him. The owner stops his conversation and calls them back. Livid, I told him that he should have the fucking dogs on a leash to which he responds (I shit you not):, "Ah, don't worry. They're <i>my</i> dogs." I was flabbergasted, mostly because of the horrific logic implied in what he said. I told him that that was great and that I'm sure if those dogs bit my kid, that the judge would throw the case out based on that fact alone.<br />
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Again, it's the <i><u>arrogance</u></i> of these dog owners that pisses me off. I don't care if you've had your dog for fifteen fucking years, you do NOT know how it is going to react in a given situation! In fact, the LONGER you've HAD the dog, the more likely you are NOT to know. It's a dog--an <i>animal</i>! You don't know what it's thinking or feeling, or, more specifically, what's going to set it off. What if my wife is wearing a perfume that makes the dog freak out? What if it runs over to my kid who moves his arms too quickly, startling the dog and causing it to bite? I don't care if that dog has reacted the same way in 1,000 similar instances--all it takes is <i>one</i> attack a) to potentially scar a kid for life and b) to warrant putting that dog down.<br />
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The best is the "Oh, (s)he's friendly!" line that many dog owners use when their animal is rocketing towards or jumping all over you. How's this for a response? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. And one more: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Inherent in that train of thought is the assumption that the person likes dogs or is comfortable with them. I don't give a shit if your dog is the friendliest fucking mutt on the face of the planet, I shouldn't have to have that moment of worry when it comes tearing towards me, making me wonder whether or not it's going to attack me. That's why they have dog runs.<br />
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The bottom line: if you're in a public place, ESPECIALLY with people riding bikes, keep the goddamn dog on a leash!<br />
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The Stay At Home Scholarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13136325477506837723noreply@blogger.com